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Daily Reading from Recovery Days by Chris B November 30th on Keeping Up

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly


Steps Ten to Twelve


The last three Steps are about ‘keeping up’, in other words maintaining sobriety in recovery through the Twelve Steps and attending the support groups most relevant to your addiction such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous. You already know how much work it took to achieve a lasting sobriety and now you need to put in that little bit more, on a regular basis, to make sure that you keep what you’ve got. Addiction may have left your body, but it hasn’t left your mind, not completely. Never forget that it will quickly return if given a chance. The best way to ‘keep up’ is to go to meetings regularly and remind ourselves how lucky we are to have the gift of recovery. Just saying the Serenity Prayer daily and meditating on its true meaning will keep us in the right frame of mind and keep our egos under control. Am I making ‘keeping up’ a simple daily habit?


At the first AA meeting I ever attended, somebody said to me: You’ll need to keep coming to these meetings the rest of your life. I thought, or my ego thought, I don’t think so. But I am still going, and, like all my healthy habits, I enjoy doing it. When I hear a person share their experience, strength and hope I think: Yes, me too, and that sense of belonging, of being in the right place, returns. For that I am grateful.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 29th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably


Agnostics


Charles Darwin was in as good a position as most to take a view on creation and the meaning of life. His work On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection was published on this day in 1879. It changed the world. As a scientist, he felt unable to believe anything for which there was not valid proof, such as the existence of God. Nevertheless, he remained an agnostic because like many great scientists, the more he explored the origin of the universe, the more difficult it became to view it as a chance event. Einstein felt the same. In the Twelve Step fellowships, everyone is free to believe whatever they wish about creation and the meaning of life. Most people come to the view that addiction is a powerful thing and therefore requires a powerful response, which the individual is unable to give, without help. Do I have an open mind on matters of belief?

You don’t have to understand everything in order to believe, whatever the scientists may say. Step Two begins: Came to believe. This means starting a process we feel is right, which will itself give peace of mind and fulfilment, while we explore the greater meaning in the universe: Today I am grateful for my belief in God and recognise the open-mindedness of agnostics.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 28th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your body


Prayer

Is prayer a dialogue, a to-do list, a list of wants, or…what? The Serenity Prayer is such a calm and measured request that it seems to set a standard for how a prayer should be, but there are other ways. Do we have to get our prayer right, before we can expect a result? Probably, God gets the message, even if the grammar is not quite right. Do I understand the importance of a dialogue with my Higher Power?

I asked for knowledge – power to control things.
I was granted understanding – to learn to love persons.
I asked for strength to be a great man.
I was made weak, to become a better man.
I asked for wealth, to make friends.
I became poor, to keep friends.
I asked for all things, to enjoy life.
I was granted all life, to enjoy things.
I cried for pity; I was offered sympathy.
I craved for healing of my own disorders.
I received insight into another’s suffering.
I prayed to God for safety – to tread the trodden path.
I was granted danger, to lose track and find the way.
I got nothing that I prayed for.
I am among men, richly blessed. (Anon).
Today I recognise and am grateful for the power of prayer.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 27th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment


Exercise and recovery

Our nature lies in movement, complete calm is death, (Blaise Pascal). Addiction is a mental, spiritual and physical disease so, successful recovery should involve these three elements. Exercise alone may not directly impact on the Twelve Step programme, but it gives many obvious benefits that can be grouped under the general heading recognised by the ancient dictum: Mens sana in corpore sano. (a sound mind in a sound body). These include stress reduction, general wellbeing and a better sleep pattern. It is even possible for people to become addicted to the act of taking exercise. Do I recognise the real benefits of a sensible exercise routine?

The therapeutic effect of gentle exercise was recognised by medieval monks who would recite their daily office while walking up and down. Another Latin phrase: Solvitur ambulando (things can be solved by walking) is attributed to the fifth-century bishop St Augustine. Walking is a valid form of meditation. Japanese poet Basho recommended composing Haiku (three-line poems) while walking:
No one travels
Along this way but I
This autumn evening. (Basho).
Today I will gratefully experience the benefits of exercise.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 26th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably

Contemporary spirituality


Attitudes to spirituality in the twenty-first century are different from those of much earlier times when religious certainty in the Western world led to a consensus of a Christian God who would lead us to eventual salvation, even if not worldly happiness, if followed. We are all spiritual beings who continue to search for meaning in life and beyond, but today many of us take a more holistic approach to both belief and to practice. This leads us to spend more time on self-actualisation and meditation and less on religious dogma and ritual. In the programme of Twelve Step recovery, we are introduced to the concept of a Power greater than ourselves that will help us to combat the power of addiction. It is our choice how we perceive this Power, but we are advised to seek one because the alternative – that we rely just on ourselves – is likely to be a lot more problematic. Have I found a Higher Power to whom I can hand over my problems?

There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled.
There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled.
You feel it, don’t you?
You feel the separation from the beloved.
Invite him to fill you up, embrace the fire. (Rumi).
I give thanks today for the great gift of spirituality.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 25th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your body


Perfectionism

Setting standards that are impossible to maintain sets us up for feelings of anxiety, worthlessness and general negativity. We do not like to think of ourselves as imperfect because that seems like failure; we are ‘all or nothing people.’ We may thus sometimes prefer to do nothing because failure would be too much to bear. This can seriously hinder recovery because the Twelve Steps teach us to accept ourselves as human beings who have character defects just like everyone else. Perfectionists can feel so bad and self-critical that they seek out people they deem worse than them, just to make themselves feel better. Eventually, they find themselves trapped behind their own perfectionist defences. The solution is to accept defeat and ask for help, which will be readily given – many of us have been in that position. Do I recognise the dangers of perfectionism?

Acceptance, honesty and humility are the way out of the perfectionism trap. Once again, I am having to manage my ego and deal with admitting defeat – a challenge to my pride. Trust in the goodwill and empathy of my fellows will help me, little by little, to admit that I am not perfect. Today I ask that I accept myself as I am.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 24th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe slowly


Connection

Twenty-first century life is high-tech, fast moving and highly stressful. The exponential growth in communications has led some to believe that our lives would become not just easier but safer. The mass sharing of thoughts, feelings and information would, it was hoped, lead to an era of worldwide peace and understanding. Instead, we are seeing dislocation, disconnection and a sense of spiritual emptiness that bring feelings of anguish, anxiety, and bewilderment. What we need, the experts now tell us, is a return to core values – kindness, honesty and humility and to things that really matter – family, friends and community. You find these in Twelve Step fellowships. Those of us in recovery are focused on self-improvement – our example might help others too. Am I glad that my fellowship values the important things in life?

Technology is a double-edged sword. It can also be a means whereby people become addicted – gaming, shopping, pornography and social media addictions would all be a fraction of their present size without technology. Yet the internet itself is used for fellowship meetings and step work, a real boon at times when face to face is not possible. A limited case of ‘let your poison be your cure.’ This is not compromise, but adaptability. Today I am grateful for technology but mindful of the dangers.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 23rd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your body


Cocaine Anonymous


The first meeting of Cocaine Anonymous was held on this day in 1982 in Los Angeles, California. Based on similar principles to those of Alcoholics Anonymous, today it helps thousands of people and regular meetings can be found throughout the world. Following the success of AA, a variety of fellowships have arisen to address the addictive substances and behaviours that are now seen in increasing numbers. Workaholics Anonymous, Debtors Anonymous and Gamers Anonymous are just a few examples. All share an altruistic approach to recovery through abstinence, mutual support and self-help. Am I grateful for the example of the many Twelve Step fellowships in the world?


Rather than judging a person, it can be a more profitable exercise to consciously look for all the good you can find – there will probably be much. Search thoroughly and categorise each part. We can learn much about another person by doing this and also much about ourselves. In doing the Twelve Steps, we learn to look at ourselves in this way; we are a mixture of good and bad and we identify the bad in ourselves, so as to change. We are probably used to being judged negatively by others – most addicted people are. But in the fellowships, we look positively, to give help. People change through support, not criticism.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 22nd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly
Social media addiction
Some social media applications are deliberately designed to be addictive. The providers want you to keep coming back. The facility to scroll, to ‘like’ a post and to ‘follow’ another person are all designed to involve you and keep you seeking positive feedback, so you feel unsatisfied if you don’t get it. Social media addiction is actually feedback addiction. It produces changes in brain chemistry similar to the effects of substance abuse. Symptoms of this, such as preoccupation, excessive time spent on the activity, exclusion of other interests and fear of missing out (FOMO), are clinically recognised although not included in the US Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Am I aware of the dangers?
Our egos interact with social media applications in a way that suits the ego perfectly, because social media is designed to meet our expectations and desires, however inflated and unreal they may be. Ego demands recognition on its own terms which basically means as much as possible. Sites that give us numerical tallies of friends, followers, likes, mentions and comments are just what an ego loves, and it goes for them like a dog at a bone. No matter that we’ve never met our friends or engaged with our followers, for a moment we can feel good and that, for many, is addictive. Today I ask help in managing my ego.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 21st by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – review expectations

Self-discovery

Self-discovery never throws up a final and permanent answer – our identity is an ongoing condition and what we are today will not be the same in every respect tomorrow. Addiction turns us into monsters, caricatures of our true selves, and we must face the monster before we can find our true personality. This is the first stage of our journey towards a new life of contentment. Unless we understand ourselves, we cannot make the changes that are needed. These changes must be deep and thorough, because our personality is not ‘skin deep’. In fact, like an onion, we have several layers or ‘skins’ ranging through us, from: behaviour, feelings and thoughts, attitudes, beliefs to the innermost, our core values. It is no good simply trying to change the surface (the behaviours) unless we change the rest. So, for example, stopping drinking (behaviour) won’t work unless you believe that it is the right thing to do (belief). Do I recognise the process of self-discovery?

Change would be a lot easier for most of us if we didn’t have so many preconceived ideas. Courage to change is as much about letting go of the familiar ways as about embracing the new. I must come out of my comfort zone and discard the familiar role of the victim who blames others. I will take responsibility for my life with guidance from my Higher Power.