Tag Archives: Fellowship

Daily Reading from Recovery Days December 6th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment

Perception


Robert Burns, the Scottish Bard, wrote the tender poem about parting: Ae Fond Kiss, to Agnes (Nancy) Maclehose, a beautiful Edinburgh lady with whom he had an intense, though unconsummated relationship. They were forced to part on this day, following his marriage to Jean Armour in 1791. For the next 45 years Nancy wrote in her journal This day I can never forget, parted with Robert in 1791. Oh, may we meet in heaven. Burns seems to have coped with the parting rather more easily, having fathered a child with her serving maid. The story illustrates how two people can view one event in entirely different ways. Do I understand that the manner in which I perceive a situation is not necessarily the way that others perceive the same event?


I must not assume that things are always the way I see them. Making assumptions leads to judging others and to black and white thinking, where people either agree with me, or they are wrong. I must learn to keep an open mind and respect the point of view of other people. This sometimes requires humility but, as I work on my character defects, I come to see how important is to manage my ego properly. Today I will continue to work on ego management.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days December 5th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts

Secrets

Secrets keep us sick. Shame prevents us sharing some of our darkest secrets, yet these are a part of who we are. I see my relationship with my Higher Power as a partnership, albeit an unequal one. I believe that this power works through other people, but how can I have a true partnership when I am withholding secrets? Secrets are part of the wall I constructed to keep people out – the wall that isolated me from human contact. As long as I have secrets, I have shame, and with shame comes low self-esteem and fear. It is no good trying to bury my secrets in the past and hoping they will just fade away. The past has happened, but it is still there in memories, to be visited as we wish. Have I dealt with the secrets of my past?


Secrets, and the shame that surrounds them, can hold me back in recovery because my instincts will tell me: don’t talk, don’t feel, don’t trust. Yet the Twelve Step fellowships are full of people who are able to listen and relate to my pain, because they have been though similar experiences. ‘Trust and Share’ is a well-known slogan that refers directly back to the Serenity Prayer. Today I ask for the courage to change the things I can, so that I release

Daily Reading from Recovery Days December 1st by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably
Step Twelve
Step Twelve is about service and carrying the message.
This demonstrates the paradox at the heart of the
Twelve Steps – that you must give recovery away in
order to keep it. But doing so would be difficult if
one did not have gratitude. Genuine gratitude only
comes when we feel that something good has
happened. And like enthusiasm, when others see it,
they are inspired. The power of example is there
once again. An attitude of gratitude helps to keep
me being a giver instead of a taker. Do I have an
attitude of true gratitude today?
One major point about the Twelve Steps is that they
are all about taking personal responsibility for our
lives. We have to throw out the negativity that
enveloped us – the anger, blaming, victimhood,
selfishness and low self-esteem and replace it with
positive attitudes and actions. Gratitude,
determination, helping others, forgiveness and so on,
are much more comfortable to live with and so much
more inspiring for others to see. Today I ask to do
my best in everything that I attempt because that is
part of my mission in life.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days by Chris B November 30th on Keeping Up

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly


Steps Ten to Twelve


The last three Steps are about ‘keeping up’, in other words maintaining sobriety in recovery through the Twelve Steps and attending the support groups most relevant to your addiction such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous. You already know how much work it took to achieve a lasting sobriety and now you need to put in that little bit more, on a regular basis, to make sure that you keep what you’ve got. Addiction may have left your body, but it hasn’t left your mind, not completely. Never forget that it will quickly return if given a chance. The best way to ‘keep up’ is to go to meetings regularly and remind ourselves how lucky we are to have the gift of recovery. Just saying the Serenity Prayer daily and meditating on its true meaning will keep us in the right frame of mind and keep our egos under control. Am I making ‘keeping up’ a simple daily habit?


At the first AA meeting I ever attended, somebody said to me: You’ll need to keep coming to these meetings the rest of your life. I thought, or my ego thought, I don’t think so. But I am still going, and, like all my healthy habits, I enjoy doing it. When I hear a person share their experience, strength and hope I think: Yes, me too, and that sense of belonging, of being in the right place, returns. For that I am grateful.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 29th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably


Agnostics


Charles Darwin was in as good a position as most to take a view on creation and the meaning of life. His work On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection was published on this day in 1879. It changed the world. As a scientist, he felt unable to believe anything for which there was not valid proof, such as the existence of God. Nevertheless, he remained an agnostic because like many great scientists, the more he explored the origin of the universe, the more difficult it became to view it as a chance event. Einstein felt the same. In the Twelve Step fellowships, everyone is free to believe whatever they wish about creation and the meaning of life. Most people come to the view that addiction is a powerful thing and therefore requires a powerful response, which the individual is unable to give, without help. Do I have an open mind on matters of belief?

You don’t have to understand everything in order to believe, whatever the scientists may say. Step Two begins: Came to believe. This means starting a process we feel is right, which will itself give peace of mind and fulfilment, while we explore the greater meaning in the universe: Today I am grateful for my belief in God and recognise the open-mindedness of agnostics.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 28th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your body


Prayer

Is prayer a dialogue, a to-do list, a list of wants, or…what? The Serenity Prayer is such a calm and measured request that it seems to set a standard for how a prayer should be, but there are other ways. Do we have to get our prayer right, before we can expect a result? Probably, God gets the message, even if the grammar is not quite right. Do I understand the importance of a dialogue with my Higher Power?

I asked for knowledge – power to control things.
I was granted understanding – to learn to love persons.
I asked for strength to be a great man.
I was made weak, to become a better man.
I asked for wealth, to make friends.
I became poor, to keep friends.
I asked for all things, to enjoy life.
I was granted all life, to enjoy things.
I cried for pity; I was offered sympathy.
I craved for healing of my own disorders.
I received insight into another’s suffering.
I prayed to God for safety – to tread the trodden path.
I was granted danger, to lose track and find the way.
I got nothing that I prayed for.
I am among men, richly blessed. (Anon).
Today I recognise and am grateful for the power of prayer.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 27th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment


Exercise and recovery

Our nature lies in movement, complete calm is death, (Blaise Pascal). Addiction is a mental, spiritual and physical disease so, successful recovery should involve these three elements. Exercise alone may not directly impact on the Twelve Step programme, but it gives many obvious benefits that can be grouped under the general heading recognised by the ancient dictum: Mens sana in corpore sano. (a sound mind in a sound body). These include stress reduction, general wellbeing and a better sleep pattern. It is even possible for people to become addicted to the act of taking exercise. Do I recognise the real benefits of a sensible exercise routine?

The therapeutic effect of gentle exercise was recognised by medieval monks who would recite their daily office while walking up and down. Another Latin phrase: Solvitur ambulando (things can be solved by walking) is attributed to the fifth-century bishop St Augustine. Walking is a valid form of meditation. Japanese poet Basho recommended composing Haiku (three-line poems) while walking:
No one travels
Along this way but I
This autumn evening. (Basho).
Today I will gratefully experience the benefits of exercise.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 26th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably

Contemporary spirituality


Attitudes to spirituality in the twenty-first century are different from those of much earlier times when religious certainty in the Western world led to a consensus of a Christian God who would lead us to eventual salvation, even if not worldly happiness, if followed. We are all spiritual beings who continue to search for meaning in life and beyond, but today many of us take a more holistic approach to both belief and to practice. This leads us to spend more time on self-actualisation and meditation and less on religious dogma and ritual. In the programme of Twelve Step recovery, we are introduced to the concept of a Power greater than ourselves that will help us to combat the power of addiction. It is our choice how we perceive this Power, but we are advised to seek one because the alternative – that we rely just on ourselves – is likely to be a lot more problematic. Have I found a Higher Power to whom I can hand over my problems?

There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled.
There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled.
You feel it, don’t you?
You feel the separation from the beloved.
Invite him to fill you up, embrace the fire. (Rumi).
I give thanks today for the great gift of spirituality.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 25th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your body


Perfectionism

Setting standards that are impossible to maintain sets us up for feelings of anxiety, worthlessness and general negativity. We do not like to think of ourselves as imperfect because that seems like failure; we are ‘all or nothing people.’ We may thus sometimes prefer to do nothing because failure would be too much to bear. This can seriously hinder recovery because the Twelve Steps teach us to accept ourselves as human beings who have character defects just like everyone else. Perfectionists can feel so bad and self-critical that they seek out people they deem worse than them, just to make themselves feel better. Eventually, they find themselves trapped behind their own perfectionist defences. The solution is to accept defeat and ask for help, which will be readily given – many of us have been in that position. Do I recognise the dangers of perfectionism?

Acceptance, honesty and humility are the way out of the perfectionism trap. Once again, I am having to manage my ego and deal with admitting defeat – a challenge to my pride. Trust in the goodwill and empathy of my fellows will help me, little by little, to admit that I am not perfect. Today I ask that I accept myself as I am.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 24th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe slowly


Connection

Twenty-first century life is high-tech, fast moving and highly stressful. The exponential growth in communications has led some to believe that our lives would become not just easier but safer. The mass sharing of thoughts, feelings and information would, it was hoped, lead to an era of worldwide peace and understanding. Instead, we are seeing dislocation, disconnection and a sense of spiritual emptiness that bring feelings of anguish, anxiety, and bewilderment. What we need, the experts now tell us, is a return to core values – kindness, honesty and humility and to things that really matter – family, friends and community. You find these in Twelve Step fellowships. Those of us in recovery are focused on self-improvement – our example might help others too. Am I glad that my fellowship values the important things in life?

Technology is a double-edged sword. It can also be a means whereby people become addicted – gaming, shopping, pornography and social media addictions would all be a fraction of their present size without technology. Yet the internet itself is used for fellowship meetings and step work, a real boon at times when face to face is not possible. A limited case of ‘let your poison be your cure.’ This is not compromise, but adaptability. Today I am grateful for technology but mindful of the dangers.