Category Archives: Behavioural Addiction

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 30th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

HALT

In April, we looked at courage, honesty, integrity, giving, helping others and the joy of recovery. These positive attributes do not just appear, we must work for them, and we must ask for help. Our main motivation at first is fear – addiction will kill us unless we take positive action. Soon other motivations appear, to keep us on the right path: we don’t want to disappoint our friends who offered the hand of friendship, we don’t want to lose the new happiness we are starting to feel, and we do want to be true to our Higher Power. Later on, the siren call of our old addiction will become so tiny that we don’t notice it at all but for now, there is still work to be done. There are no holidays from recovery. Do I understand that recovery is for life – that, however good I am feeling, I must remain vigilant?

HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) are the four things to avoid in early recovery. We could find ourselves in any (or all) of those states at any time. If we do, what should be our response? We should have a plan to deal with it – a person to call or a meeting to attend. Our great good fortune is that we are members of a worldwide support system. We must ask for help, so that we see how to help others, when the time comes. Today I remind myself to ask for help when I feel the need.

Today I Will……………………………………………

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 28th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – review expectations

Denial

When you decide to quit addictive behaviour and face up to reality, you are essentially casting off your denial – the twisted mental process that allowed you to continue your addiction for so long although you knew it was wrong. Sobering up means accepting three essential truths:

  • This is what your behaviour was like
  • This is how it makes others think about you
  • This is how it makes you feel about yourself.

Facing reality can be painful – nobody likes hearing other people’s criticism, however justified. The thing that gives us encouragement is that we have a plan for putting things right – the Twelve Step programme. With this plan and the help of our Higher Power, reality does not seem so painful.

The moment we decide to sober up is a hugely important milestone. The road ahead may be arduous, but we have a roadmap and a guide. All that is left to do is to make the first move. Today I thank God for giving me the necessities for my recovery journey.

Today I Will

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 25th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

Happy recovery

What can we do to make recovery a joyful experience? For a start, we can shed some burdens:

  • Make sure that we have addressed the past and made amends
  • We must do Steps Four to Seven
  • Stop worrying about the future and focus on today
  • Hand life’s daily problems over to a Higher Power.

Having shed these three burdens, we can try some new ideas:

  • Cultivate friendships, perhaps in the fellowships
  • Explore new interests
  • Discover the pleasure in helping others.

We should always remember that happiness comes as a result of good actions. Am I ready to build a happy recovery, with the help of my Twelve Step group?

The American psychologist M Scott Peck, in his book The Road Less Travelled, spoke about the blessing of alcoholism because it puts people into a visible state of crisis for which there is a ready- made therapeutic community – an AA group. How fortunate we are to have the fellowships. I ask God today for the enthusiasm to build a contented and meaningful recovery.

Today I Will

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 23rd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment

Spiritual growth

The joy of living is a sometimes-unexpected bonus for many recovering addicted people. Feeling physically well is only a part of that. We realise that there is more pleasure in giving than in getting, that caring about other people is fulfilling, that friends are dependable, that Higher Power is real, that honesty brings peace of mind, that living a day at a time is manageable. When we look at the wreckage of our past and compare it to the calm simplicity of our life today, there is so much to be happy about and so much to be grateful for. Am I truly grateful for the way that my life has changed so much for the better?

I accept the good that surrounds me instead of searching for it, and I truly understand the meaning of spiritual growth. That is how my sobriety will turn into a happy recovery. I know that by surrendering my life to my Higher Power, I will find peace and contentment. Thus, my life will have true meaning and happiness. For that I am grateful. Today I ask God for spiritual growth that will continue for the rest of my life.

Today I Will………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 22nd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

Progress, not perfection

Active addiction leads to a form of soul sickness. People become a poor imitation of the person they once were. But on sobering up, they come to themselves, as they come to their senses. The addicted self is not the real self. To some extent we are dual personalities who need to become whole again. That means to regain our integrity. It will require courage, honesty and realism but with the help of our Higher Power, it can be done. Carl Jung said in his letter to Bill W: Alcoholism is a spiritual disease the basis of which is man’s yearning for wholeness. Am I ready to regain my true integrity?

Many of us sought for completeness and wholeness in our addiction, but no addictive behaviour can provide such a thing. We can only find meaning and purpose in life through a belief in a Higher Power and the knowledge that we are doing what is right. Perfection is not required, only steady progress. Today I ask that I will do my best in everything I attempt and that every choice that I make today will be the best for the recovery of others and of myself.

Today I Will……………………………………………………………………………..

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 17th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – Breathe calmly

Helping others

Richmond W, author of the inspirational AA meditation book Twenty-four Hours A Day, also wrote poetry. His lines on helping others from his poem Not Enough run as follows:

To hear is not enough…

…I must give wherever need appears And learn to live unselfishly.   R.Walker

Richmond was as good as his words and is said to have helped hundreds of struggling addicted people during his years of sobriety. A man of true integrity and a shining example to us all. Am I ready to help others in need, without hesitation?

If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.

Chinese proverb.

Altruism is pleasurable, it builds connections that benefit both giver and receiver. When we look beyond ourselves, we see that we are not alone, and we realise the limitations of staying within our selfish comfort zone. If I help others, I help myself. Today I ask for the courage and insight to be proactive in helping people in need.

Today I Will…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 16th by Chris B

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On this day in 1879, St Bernadette of Lourdes died, aged 35

Courage

Courage is found in unlikely places. St Bernadette of Lourdes suffered pain from tuberculosis for most of her short life. She also endured harsh treatment as a child brought up in poverty. Her miraculous visions at Lourdes were not believed at first, but she was steadfast and brave when people ridiculed her. She said that great suffering and great love are connected and give meaning to life. She never ceased to be grateful and humble and spent her last years as a nun helping others. She displayed all the qualities that recovering addicted people need. Do I recognise the need for love, courage, gratitude, humility and helping others?

If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again. That’s the beauty of being alive. We can always start all over again and enjoy God’s amazing opportunities bestowed on us. Have faith in him always.

St Bernadette.

Today I ask God that I may live according to the example of St Bernadette.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 15th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

Unity

For a Twelve Step group to be successful, there are said to be six essentials:

  • Fellowship
  • Faith in a Higher Power
  • Service
  • Welcome
  • Humility
  • Gratitude.

Where a group’s members can regularly demonstrate all these things, the group is likely to thrive and the outcome for newcomers will be good. Am I ready to make every effort to ensure the success of my group?

Learning to live unselfishly takes practice. The need to keep my addiction active turned me into a highly selfish person. Only a conscious effort to do things differently, on a daily basis, will enable me to change. I need help from my Higher Power. Reading some of the stories of unselfishness and helping others, either in the lives of the founding fathers of AA and NA or in the lives of the Saints, gives me daily inspiration. Today I ask to be freed from the bondage of my selfishness.

Today I Will………………………………………………………………………………….

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 14th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts

Fellowship and connection

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; for he today who sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

Shakespeare, King Henry V.

Whether we have actually shed blood or not, all of us addicted people have been in a fight and this common experience gives us a strong sense of fellowship and a sense of purpose too. Brotherhood and sisterhood are great words that bring us a sense of connection and togetherness at a crucial time in our lives. For most people, doing something as part of a group or team gives more satisfaction than doing it alone. Am I glad of the feeling of team spirit and involvement that I get from belonging to a Twelve Step group?

Attending a fellowship meeting and sitting alone at the back of the room, we can observe the other members and we can learn from their words of wisdom, but do we feel comfortable? If we feel welcome and if we interact with others, it is likely that we will enjoy the meeting more and leave with a warm feeling of having been a part of something, rather than having been just a spectator. Others, perhaps with more experience, have a responsibility to extend the hand of friendship but we have a responsibility to ourselves to make an effort to connect. Today I ask God for the courage to make the extra effort needed to come out of my isolation and meet new people.

Today I Will…………………………………………………………………………………

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 13th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body gradually

Responsibility

Responsibility has several meanings – duty, care, protection, control and blame. For us, it is a positive word meaning positive action. People in recovery are among the most responsible people you can find, because they know from bitter experience the negative consequences of irresponsible behaviour. Am I ready to act responsibly today?

When I show responsibility by extending the helping hand of fellowship to a struggling person, I am also showing gratitude, compassion, empathy, humility, and the power of example. Doing this is a form of prayer:

Inasmuch as you have done unto the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me.

St Matthew.

No wonder then, that doing so makes me feel good. Today I will remember the words of St Paul in his letter to the Corinthians: Three things will last forever: faith, hope and love, and the greatest of these is love.

Today I Will……………………………………………………………….