Monthly Archives: January 2025

Daily Reading from recovery Days January 31st by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts


Inventory

This is me and this is what I have done. Thus runs the
simplified version of Step Four. Probably, if we do
not feel some trepidation or the need for courage, we
are not sufficiently searching or fearless in our
approach. We must dig deep into our souls, quite
possibly so as to save our lives. The most desperate
things that people do are usually the result of fear.
The greater the fear, the greater the desperation. No
wonder we need courage to revisit our past deeds.
Will I ask my Higher Power for the courage I need?

He who conquers his own soul is greater
than he who conquers a city.
Book of Proverbs.
Most religious writers and philosophers make this
point. But it is a long and arduous journey because
we are highly complicated people. What a piece of
work is man, said Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Few
addicted people would disagree. I will write down
my mistakes. But I will also include that which is
good. I pray for the strength and courage to
complete the task.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days January 30th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe deeply

Change

People of faith seldom lack courage. It’s usually a
quiet kind of courage that has its roots in self-regard
and love. When people talk about the courage to
change, they are usually implying a fear of some
kind, which is usually either of loss, of
independence, of commitment or of confrontation.
The fact is that when you commit yourself to
change, you are putting yourself on the spot because
you are raising expectations both in others and
yourself. When change happens, it is not always for
the good. The point is to make sure that the
benefits of your change far outweigh any possible
unwanted outcomes. Am I ready to make change
happen despite possible negative consequences?

If I change myself, not everybody may be pleased.
Perhaps some, for example my drinking friends,
prefer me the way I was. If so, I must remember all
the good reasons I have to change. This is a crucial
moment in my life where I call upon my Higher
Power to strengthen and lead me into that ‘arch of
experience wherethrough gleams the untravelled
world of happy sobriety’. God grant me the courage
to change the things I can.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days January 29th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close your eyes briefly

Courage to change

Courage to change is a big idea to contemplate.
Courage to try, somehow seems more manageable.
Remember that we seek progress not perfection.
When you have been stuck in addiction for many
years, it becomes a kind of negative comfort zone – you
may feel unhappy, but at least it is a familiar feeling.
But those who stay in their comfort zone never
change, never mature, never grow. Perhaps the fear
of facing reality is greater than the fear of the
unknown. A ship is safe in harbour but that’s not
what ships are for – that is another way of saying
that our life experience will expand in proportion to
our courage. Am I ready to test my courage with a
small step into the unknown?

Perhaps you will always remember the day that you
decided to take that first step of courage – that day
when you finally accepted the need to do something
and took action. Therefore, I ask God for courage
to help me save the only life I can save – my own.

Daily Reading form Recovery Days January 28th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your body

Boundaries

We in recovery are fortunate that we can know, understand, and love each other at such a meaningful level. This does not mean that we should not have regard to proper boundaries and an understanding of the limits of our responsibilities. The Twelve Step fellowships give us constant guidance. Several of the Steps are to do with boundaries: Step Four and Ten, deal with personal inventory and Steps Eight and Nine deal with the consequences where we have ignored boundaries in the past. Am I using the Twelve Steps to help me maintain healthy boundaries?


The Twelve Step fellowships bring us the welcome feeling of once more belonging. In essence, we are learning in recovery the lesson that love that is freely given comes with responsibilities and must be treated with respect. Peace of mind is a worthy outcome when we are prepared to go to any lengths to achieve sobriety, but it must include respect to others. Please God may I always remember that the gifts of love and friendship bring with them responsibilities as well.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days January 27th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably


Maintenance

When I seek to build my life around my recovery, I
am setting myself the task of learning a new habit.
This is especially important in early recovery. I must
check my thoughts, feelings, and actions daily to
make sure that all I set out to do is based on the
premise that I have a disease that can kill me. After
several weeks of self-appraisal, I may feel able to
relax a bit, because new habits are forming. Yet,
addiction is a disease that never gives up. It keeps
trying to return. The remedy is constant vigilance
and that means attending meetings regularly to
receive a reality check. Do I understand that my
sobriety depends upon constant vigilance?


A life of happy recovery is such a precious thing that
I must never take it for granted. It does not require
very much effort to simply ask myself: What can I do
today for my recovery? If I had just undergone major
surgery, I would not hesitate. Once again, my ego is
trying to push me into attitudes that are dangerous
for sobriety. I must remind myself that:
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the
earth. New Testament, St Matthew.
Today I ask God for the humility to counter my ego.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days January 26th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts

Boundaries

Most folks are as happy as they make up their mind
to be.
This Abraham Lincoln quote appears on the AA Just
For Today Card. If we want to be happy, we
certainly need to have self-respect, and this can only
come when we have strong and healthy boundaries.
Action is now required. Simply having the concept
of healthy boundaries is no good at all, we must
enforce them until the enforcement becomes a
habit. Otherwise, we will just be seen as ‘a person of
strong opinions, weakly held.’ And that is not far
from being a doormat. Am I now ready to practice
enforcing healthy boundaries?


Our boundaries have been established in the past
from a variety of sources – life events, other people’s
behaviour and how we feel about ourselves.
Sometimes our emotional wounds lead us to
compromise on boundaries. Thus, if we have
experienced childhood rejection, our fear of
abandonment may have led us to allow
manipulation in relationships where love is used as a
weapon, to be given or withdrawn at will. Do I see
this in myself? I ask for the wisdom to see where my
damaged emotions have led me to compromise on
boundaries. So, I may repair them.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days January 25th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – review expectations

Boundaries

Boundaries exist in three main forms –

  • Physical: you won’t be physically pushed around
  • Emotional: you won’t be insulted or humiliated
  • Mental: you won’t be unduly affected mentally.

  • Taking back control in these three areas can be
    difficult. In extreme cases, where there has been
    systematic abuse, professional help may be needed,
    and we should not be ashamed of asking for help. It
    is not uncommon for people in addiction to have
    been subjected to psychological bullying. Have I
    decided that enough is enough, that it is time to
    establish healthy boundaries?

  • When I have healthy boundaries, I will be calmer,
    stronger, and happier. I will have self-respect, a
    sense of identity and meaningful relationships. I will
    be able to say yes or no, without guilt, anger, or fear.
    The help in doing this comes from my Higher
    Power, which works through other people – my
    friends in sobriety whose experience, strength and
    hope will see me through. Today I ask my God to
    stay beside me, as I practice setting healthy
    boundaries and learn from the example and
    experience of my friends in sobriety.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days January 24th by Chris B

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On this day in 1971, AA co-founder Bill Wilson died

Respect

The Gestalt Prayer, written by the psychiatrist Fritz
Perls, tells us that we are not in this world to live up
to anyone’s expectations except our own. Trying to
live the way other people would like us to simply
leads to unhappiness. Healthy boundaries are about
respecting ourselves and others. They also allow us to
understand who we are and what we need.
Boundaries become important when we come under
threat, so it is best to establish them before they are
actually needed. It is very difficult to apply
boundaries when someone is already trying to
manipulate you. Will I review my boundaries before
they are needed, to ensure that they are strong and
fit for purpose?


If I am to live according to high moral principles, I
must identify what I really need and value. In the
past, such things as success or wealth might have
been my focus but now, I must reconsider. If for
example, I feel that peace of mind is more important
than a stressful job, I must have boundaries to ensure
that my ego does not lead me to take on too much
in the workplace. ‘Principles before Personalities’ is
a slogan that includes my own personality. Today I
ask God for the wisdom to keep my expectations
low and my hopes high.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days January 23rd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close your eyes


Boundaries

Poor boundaries are often found in people with
addiction problems. Quite simply, in active
addiction we are prepared to compromise with our
relationships, our self-respect, our health and pretty
much everything, in order to keep our addiction
going. By doing so, we will open ourselves to all
kinds of manipulation, abuse, co-dependence, and
criminality. A chaotic lifestyle seems almost normal.
Setting new and firmer boundaries is an important
element of the positive action that we commit
ourselves to in recovery. Do I understand the need to
establish new and stronger boundaries?

Our new personality develops through the
establishment of regular habits. We can start in a
small way, perhaps teaching ourselves to say ‘no’
when we need to, on relatively minor issues. But we
must have the willingness to practice these new
principles in all our affairs. What begins as a step
into the unknown can quickly become a regular and
beneficial habit if we are prepared to trust in the
help of our Higher Power. Today I ask to be
unafraid as I set myself to the task of building selfrespect
through healthy boundaries.

Remember Mindfulness – close your eyes


Boundaries

Poor boundaries are often found in people with
addiction problems. Quite simply, in active
addiction we are prepared to compromise with our
relationships, our self-respect, our health and pretty
much everything, in order to keep our addiction
going. By doing so, we will open ourselves to all
kinds of manipulation, abuse, co-dependence, and
criminality. A chaotic lifestyle seems almost normal.
Setting new and firmer boundaries is an important
element of the positive action that we commit
ourselves to in recovery. Do I understand the need to
establish new and stronger boundaries?


Our new personality develops through the
establishment of regular habits. We can start in a
small way, perhaps teaching ourselves to say ‘no’
when we need to, on relatively minor issues. But we
must have the willingness to practice these new
principles in all our affairs. What begins as a step
into the unknown can quickly become a regular and
beneficial habit if we are prepared to trust in the
help of our Higher Power. Today I ask to be
unafraid as I set myself to the task of building selfrespect
through healthy boundaries.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days January 22nd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your body

Boundaries

Our personal boundaries define us by protecting our
basic identity – our principles, standards, and
beliefs. When we decide to live in a way that is
healthy and morally correct, such as in recovery
from addiction, our boundaries show us what is
acceptable. It might be hard to work the Twelve
Steps thoroughly for example, without proper
boundaries, because they demand rigorous honesty
and a willingness to grow along spiritual lines. Am I
ready to establish healthy personal boundaries?


Knowing that you are trying your very best to live by
high moral principles brings inner satisfaction. In
Step Three, when we turn our will and our lives over
to the care of God as we understand him, we are also
saying that from now on we intend to establish firm
boundaries. In the past, when we had poor
boundaries, we were in effect allowing others to
dictate our life. No more. God will help us. He does
not promise an easy ride, but simply the inner
contentment that comes from doing the right thing.
Today I pray for God’s help in establishing firm and
appropriate boundaries as markers by which I will
live my life along principles that match my
conscience.