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Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts

Denial

Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to
change the world. Today I am wise, so I
am changing myself. Rumi.

Feeling that we were clever and able to get away with bad behaviour simply led us further down the slippery slope of addiction. It may seem clever to us during the bad times to change our job, our location, our doctor or even our spouse – anything in fact, except to change ourselves – the one thing we really needed to change. That is not the behaviour of a clever person but of somebody blinded by selfishness and denial. How clever am I ?

Denial is the refuge where we hide from reality, and it takes courage and humility to come out and admit we were wrong. Years of denial turn us into people ‘constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves’ that are mentioned in Chapter Five of the AA Big Book. We should not expect to turn that around easily, it may take time. If we can identify the problem and commit to doing something about it honestly, then we have made a start. Today I ask for honesty to face reality.