Tag Archives: Recovery

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 11th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your body


Sex addiction


As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from
uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed
in his bed into a monstrous insect.
Franz Kafka, Metamorphosis.
Thus begins Kafka’s best-known story. The sinister
tone of some of Kafka’s writings has led people to
wonder if the great man struggled with some form
of addiction. Could metamorphosis into a horrible
insect be some kind of metaphor for drug
dependence, they wondered. A 2008 biography by
Dr James Hawes, confirmed their speculation by
revealing that Kafka had a sex addiction. Perhaps
the ‘monstrous insect’ that he described was indeed
an actualisation of his shame and guilt. The reality
today is that ten percent of internet websites
contain pornography, and thousands struggle with
some form of sex addiction. Am I aware of the
dangers of sex addiction and cross-addiction?


Sex addiction especially impacts self-esteem and
relationships. Help is available in the Twelve Step
programme of Sex Addicts Anonymous. All
addictions are treatable with honesty, openness
and willingness to change. I will remember today
that: there, but for the grace of God, go I.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days October 27th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably


Risk


Addiction is a loaded gun and Russian roulette is a
dangerous pastime but addicted people play that
game most days. How many of us really knew the
strength of the powders and weeds we consumed?
Were we sure our bodies were free of alcohol before
we drove? Around one hundred thousand people are
convicted of drink-driving in the UK each year.
Have I finished playing Russian roulette with my
life and the lives of others?


In addiction, we’re all risk takers and sobriety can
seem like a joyless alternative at first. How wrong
that is. There are so many things that I never tried or
was too mentally numb to bother about when I was
using. I can now try new experiences and see which
ones I like:
All experience is an arch wherethrough
Gleams that untraveled world whose margin fades
Forever and forever when I move.
Alfred Lord Tennyson.
Today I ask not to fear trying new things.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days October 1st by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts


Self-discipline

Willpower alone is not likely to keep us sober for
long, but a bit of self-denial and unselfishness will be
helpful. Addiction makes us think only of ourselves
and it will do us good to start thinking of others for a
change. We may need to learn self- control, starting
with the little things, like not having that extra biscuit.
It will help our self-esteem to realise that we are
making mature decisions with good long-term
results. Am I learning to make the right choices?

Self-control is a practical technique that can help us
respond appropriately to temptation and overindulgence.
When we are dealing with spiritual
matters, we would be wrong to rely on our own
resources for the right response. It is much better to
allow ourselves to be guided by our Higher Power.
This is true when we are learning to deal with other
people as well. For most of us, handling
relationships in a good way is the most difficult
challenge that we face. Repairing damaged
relationships can bring challenges that we may feel
unable to manage, unless we can hand them over to
our Higher Power. Today I ask for wisdom and self-control
as I learn to handle relationships.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 13th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from top to toes

Keep it simple

Thinking, feeling, perception and intuition are the four functions of the ego, according to renowned psychiatrist Carl Jung. Employing these, we interpret and respond to reality. That works best when we have rid ourselves of the burdens of the past and the future and simply focus on today. We distort our grasp of reality by our opinions, our needs or our expectations. We must keep it simple, then we can progress our personal development. Do I appreciate that I must build my life on a foundation of reality?

Keep it simple Thinking, feeling, perception and intuition are the four functions of the ego, according to renowned psychiatrist Carl Jung. Employing these, we interpret and respond to reality. That works best when we have rid ourselves of the burdens of the past and the future and simply focus on today. We distort our grasp of reality by our opinions, our needs or our expectations. We must keep it simple, then we can progress our personal development. Do I appreciate that I must build my life on a foundation of reality?

When you lack understanding and you are unable to control your mind, your senses do not obey you, just as unruly horses do not obey a charioteer. Hindu, Upanishads. Total control of my mind will probably never happen, but I must remember that my thoughts, feelings and actions are all connected. If I focus on these and do not let my opinions and expectations get in the way, then I will be able to make the right choices. I will use meditation and mindfulness to help clarify my thoughts.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 6th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from top to toes

Power of example

Everything we say and write comes in one of four forms: statement, question, exclamation or command. The Twelve Steps are written in the form of a statement: Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a programme of recovery. Before the AA Big Book was published, in 1939, the authors were advised to make the tone of the work less directive: a lot of ‘musts’ were replaced by ‘should’ or ‘we suggest’. Remarkably, the approach worked. Perhaps alcoholics are people who don’t like being told what to do. If you compare the Twelve Steps of AA to the Ten Commandments in the Christian Bible, you will see a marked difference in tone.

Reading the AA Big Book widens our knowledge of Alcoholics Anonymous and of addiction itself. There is something very moving about reading the lives and experiences of people just like us who struggled with addiction nearly a hundred years ago. Their problem was mine and all of their stories are truly inspirational. I am proud and grateful to follow in their footsteps. I will try to be open to the possibilities of change so that with humility and love I too can be an example to others.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days June 30th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – review

Better than well

This month we have explored humility, not wanting, listening and keeping it simple. We have looked at how mindfulness can help us bring balance and calm into our days. The process of spiritual growth is gradually happening within us. You could say the same thing about learning to enjoy life. Perhaps the two are linked. We will not achieve this ‘better than well’ state without ensuring that our attitudes, aims and choices are right. Do I understand that the goal of ‘better than well’ is not a passive state but something to be worked for?

Every day that I try my best to follow the programme of recovery, I am learning new habits. Perhaps I can already feel the difference. Each time that I help another person, be true to my word and assert myself appropriately, I increase my self-respect. If I can tell myself each night that I did my best, then I will feel peace of mind and will thank my Higher Power for guiding me. I ask God today to continue guiding me along the route of spiritual progress.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days June 24th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment

Reaching out

In moments of great emotional distress, when a kind person says: I don’t know what to say, they should probably not say anything and just be there to listen anyway. A gesture, however small, is often better than words. When you smile at someone, it is a small act of kindness. It is quite likely that those who are happiest are those who do the most for others; it is certainly worth a try. Am I ready to offer help to others today?

In my father’s house there are many rooms. New Testament, St John.

I should imagine the world as my father’s house and people I meet, as his guests whom I should treat with care and respect. Of course, this requires humility and non-judgmental service. Have I considered treating others in the same way as I would like to be treated, if I were in need? Like it or not, I am a part of mankind, and I cannot stay detached, I must be involved. Today I ask God that I will not stay detached but instead that I will find opportunities to help others.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days May 22nd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

Love

Romantic love is a fine thing, especially at the movies, but love is not about dependence: ‘I can’t live without you’ amounts to codependency. Love is essentially what you do for another person. It is an activity, not a feeling. That is what makes it so powerful – if we all have love in our hearts, we are actively working to help each other. Morgan Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Travelled, said exactly this. It came as a shock to some people. Do I understand that real love is unselfish?

Step Eight is about brotherly love. It is the time when we stop focusing on ourselves and look at the damage we have done to others and what we can do about it. Making amends is about honesty, courage, forgiveness – and love. It is asking myself: What can I do for this other person that I have hurt? It does not matter how painful it is to make amends, we have to be rigorously honest in all our affairs. The truth will set us free, though it may hurt a bit too. If we are going to truly love ourselves and our fellow human beings, we must take this Step in courage and humility. Today I ask to show true love.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days May 21st by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment

Higher Power

When considering Higher Power, some people get very tied up with what this means. Are they dealing with a religious God and if so, which religion? What does this Higher Power look like? They ask. The point lies in the word ‘Power’. There is a power that helps us, a power in the meeting rooms that you can sometimes feel. Trying to put a label on this power is missing the point. It is enough for us that the power is there, and it works through other people. Empirical knowledge of a Higher Power is not possible, so let us just accept that it exists, if only because something must make the planets go round the sun. Why do we need a label? How important is it? Am I content to accept my Higher Power as an unknown but powerful source of help?

People of every outlook, background and belief find support and success in the Twelve Step fellowships. Atheists do as well as religious believers. I must look at the similarities and keep it simple. The urge to complicate things has been my downfall in the past. A Power greater than myself is all I require. Today I ask God for wisdom to keep things simple.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days May 20th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts


Denial


Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to
change the world. Today I am wise, so I
am changing myself. Rumi.


Feeling that we were clever and able to get away with bad behaviour simply led us further down the slippery slope of addiction. It may seem clever to us during the bad times to change our job, our location, our doctor or even our spouse – anything in fact, except to change ourselves – the one thing we really needed to change. That is not the behaviour of a clever person but of somebody blinded by selfishness and denial. How clever am I ?


Denial is the refuge where we hide from reality, and it takes courage and humility to come out and admit we were wrong. Years of denial turn us into people ‘constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves’ that are mentioned in Chapter Five of the AA Big Book. We should not expect to turn that around easily, it may take time. If we can identify the problem and commit to doing something about it honestly, then we have made a start. Today I ask for honesty to face reality.