Tag Archives: Fellowship

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 21st by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – review expectations

Self-discovery

Self-discovery never throws up a final and permanent answer – our identity is an ongoing condition and what we are today will not be the same in every respect tomorrow. Addiction turns us into monsters, caricatures of our true selves, and we must face the monster before we can find our true personality. This is the first stage of our journey towards a new life of contentment. Unless we understand ourselves, we cannot make the changes that are needed. These changes must be deep and thorough, because our personality is not ‘skin deep’. In fact, like an onion, we have several layers or ‘skins’ ranging through us, from: behaviour, feelings and thoughts, attitudes, beliefs to the innermost, our core values. It is no good simply trying to change the surface (the behaviours) unless we change the rest. So, for example, stopping drinking (behaviour) won’t work unless you believe that it is the right thing to do (belief). Do I recognise the process of self-discovery?

Change would be a lot easier for most of us if we didn’t have so many preconceived ideas. Courage to change is as much about letting go of the familiar ways as about embracing the new. I must come out of my comfort zone and discard the familiar role of the victim who blames others. I will take responsibility for my life with guidance from my Higher Power.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 20th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably


Climate change anxiety


The impact of climate change is obvious. It arouses strong feelings. The mental health of many is suffering and some people are turning to substance abuse. Doing nothing in the face of oncoming disaster is no longer acceptable. Addicted people will recognise that attitude. Both climate change and substance abuse are symptoms of a world where countries put self-interest before the greater good. We seem stuck in our selfish ways. The great economist and problem-solver Maynard Keynes said, roughly a hundred years ago: The difficulty lies not so much in developing new ideas as in escaping from old ones. Twelve Step fellowships are non-political. We embrace a life that prioritises sobriety, spiritual growth and peace of mind. We have a duty to help those struggling with addiction. Am I there when anyone, anywhere reaches out for help.?

Whatever is happening in the world, my first duty is to keep myself sober and balanced. I hand my fears and anxieties over to my Higher Power in the sure knowledge that I will receive guidance. AA began shortly before the start of World War II and many members found strength in the programme during the worst moments in combat, such as the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbour. Most of us have already had our own private Pearl Harbour, a member said. Today I give thanks that I can hand my problems over

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 18th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – Close eyes briefly

AA in Ireland


The first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous in Ireland was held on this day in 1946, in Dublin. It is thought to have been the first in Europe. Ireland of course has strong links with the United States, strengthened by large numbers of migrants over the centuries. Remarkably, twenty-three US Presidents claim Irish origin. AA came to England the following year. We are fortunate that AA was originated by people who acted in the best interests of the fellowship, rather than for personal gain. They were not saints, and some had very human faults. We are no different today. We must carry forward in the same spirit, the Three Legacies of Recovery, Unity and Service. Am I grateful for the founders of AA for the Three Legacies?


Turlough O’Carolan was a well-loved itinerant minstrel, born in Westmeath, Ireland in 1670. Blind from an early age, he travelled the country with his harp. Some of his beautiful music is still played today. The story goes that he was over-fond of alcohol and that this held him back from reaching his full potential. In the cultures of most great nations there are often similar stories of gifted people who tragically were held back or sent to an early grave by their addiction. Those of us in recovery should remind ourselves of the great gift that we have been given. Our responsibility is to carry the message. Today I remember this.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 17th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body


Meaning of life


If you have a why to live, you can bear almost any how. (Nietzsche). The great philosopher seems to be saying that people will put up with a great deal, providing they believe their lives have meaning. Consider the medieval English peasant whose life was commonly a short, painful and brutish existence of hunger, work and poverty. What kept them going appears to have been a strong religious belief, that their reward would come in the next world; it gave meaning to a life of suffering. Today things are upside down – in most Western countries with welfare states in place, people no longer fear the ‘how’ so much, but they increasingly question the ‘why.’ Suicide and addiction rates are always rising. In recovery, we have a second opportunity to evaluate our existence and to re-establish priorities. Am I glad that my life in recovery has meaning and purpose, thanks to my Higher Power?

You hear people say at meetings: I was not happy in my addiction, I was desperate, alone and fearful. I wanted it to end, and I was glad when it did. But I never dreamt that one day I would feel glad to be addicted. Yet many speak like this, because addiction brings an unforeseen benefit – a grateful and humble love of life that only those who have been close to death appreciate. I give thanks today for the second chance that I have been given.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 15th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe slowly
Vigilance
If you know that you are being tracked by a stalker, someone you once knew, someone you once enjoyed being with, but someone who ultimately had done you great harm – what will you do? Be proactive because doing nothing is dangerous. If you are in recovery, then you are being stalked – by your addiction. Here are some strategies to use:

  • Plan each day carefully to keep yourself safe
  • Have someone to turn to for help at any time
  • Have a safe place to go to
  • Always carry a phone to sound the alarm
  • Avoid being alone
  • Join a group of people with similar experiences
  • Train yourself in self-defence
  • Learn the art of saying ‘push off’ assertively
  • Consider having counselling
    Do not underestimate the power of addiction to reclaim you. Am I being vigilant because addiction follows me?
    I must always remember that I am an addicted person, and that addiction is after me. I must always take the hunt seriously. It is not a game of hide-and-seek but a blood sport. I will need all the help that I can get. Today I ask my Higher Power that I will always remain vigilant to the threat of addiction.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 14th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment


Nothing changes if nothing changes


‘Nothing changes if nothing changes’ sounds like a great motivational mantra, but it’s actually incorrect. If nothing changes, other things often do change – they get worse. For example, if you don’t take corrective action and keep on drinking that bottle of whisky each day, you will die – sooner rather than later. What the saying really means is that if you want change, you have to make it happen. Change is not easy of course. Two things frighten us: first, the unknown factor – what will be the results of change, and will there be unforeseen consequences? Will I be able to cope with whatever arises? Second and more immediate – how to deal with people’s expectations?

Sometimes it’s just less hassle to stay with the familiar misery of demeaning work and frustrated dreams. Again, if addiction is your problem – What will your drinking buddies say if you go on the wagon and what will your loved ones expect of the new, sober and squeaky-clean you? Some people’s dreams of recovery never get past these imponderables. Do I know that change requires positive action?
We alcoholics are undisciplined. So, we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined. But this is not all. There is action and more action. Faith without works is dead. (AA Big Book). Today I will reflect on this.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 13th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment


Nothing changes if nothing changes


‘Nothing changes if nothing changes’ sounds like a great motivational mantra, but it’s actually incorrect. If nothing changes, other things often do change – they get worse. For example, if you don’t take corrective action and keep on drinking that bottle of whisky each day, you will die – sooner rather than later. What the saying really means is that if you want change, you have to make it happen. Change is not easy of course. Two things frighten us: first, the unknown factor – what will be the results of change, and will there be unforeseen consequences? Will I be able to cope with whatever arises? Second and more immediate – how to deal with people’s expectations? Sometimes it’s just less hassle to stay with the familiar misery of demeaning work and frustrated dreams. Again, if addiction is your problem – What will your drinking buddies say if you go on the wagon and what will your loved ones expect of the new, sober and squeaky-clean you? Some people’s dreams of recovery never get past these imponderables. Do I know that change requires positive action?

We alcoholics are undisciplined. So, we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined. But this is not all. There is action and more action. Faith without works is dead. (AA Big Book). Today I will reflect on this.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 12th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably


Live and let live

Appearances can be deceptive but that doesn’t stop us making judgments about people. Most of us don’t like uncertainty, it’s simpler to classify people on impulse. An NA member’s story goes like this: I didn’t like the newcomer from the time I first saw him. He had a bad attitude and didn’t listen. I avoided leaving the meeting at the same time, in case I had to talk to him, because our homes were not far from each other. When I left, I saw him walking up the road, a hundred yards ahead of me. I watched as he stopped to help a homeless man who was getting ready to sleep in a shop doorway. I felt ashamed of my own attitude and resolved to apply some rigorous honesty to my own behaviour in future. Do I see the faults in me rather than focusing on those in others?


Intolerance of others is not helpful. I do not have all the answers and I should not seek to impose my opinions or will on others. Being self-righteous like the Pharisees in the bible, is divisive and counterproductive. We do not deal with dogma, the Twelve Steps are merely suggestions, based on the experience of people who have used them successfully. We do not say that our way is the only way. Today I ask to remember that it is not appropriate for me to judge others or tell others how to behave.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 11th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your body


Sex addiction


As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from
uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed
in his bed into a monstrous insect.
Franz Kafka, Metamorphosis.
Thus begins Kafka’s best-known story. The sinister
tone of some of Kafka’s writings has led people to
wonder if the great man struggled with some form
of addiction. Could metamorphosis into a horrible
insect be some kind of metaphor for drug
dependence, they wondered. A 2008 biography by
Dr James Hawes, confirmed their speculation by
revealing that Kafka had a sex addiction. Perhaps
the ‘monstrous insect’ that he described was indeed
an actualisation of his shame and guilt. The reality
today is that ten percent of internet websites
contain pornography, and thousands struggle with
some form of sex addiction. Am I aware of the
dangers of sex addiction and cross-addiction?


Sex addiction especially impacts self-esteem and
relationships. Help is available in the Twelve Step
programme of Sex Addicts Anonymous. All
addictions are treatable with honesty, openness
and willingness to change. I will remember today
that: there, but for the grace of God, go I.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 10th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

Stick with the winners


Some people are shining examples, and some are
horrible warnings. We can learn valuable lessons
from both, but we need to stick with the winners. We
need to detach ourselves from people, places and
things that are bad for our recovery. This may be
hard but we cannot compromise. Addiction never
goes away; it is always waiting to return. We should
never test ourselves by revisiting old behaviour. Do I
accept that I don’t play games with a killer disease?

A Native American told his son this story:
Inside me there are two wolves who fight each other.
One is evil – it is all the bad things like anger, pride,
aggression, envy and lies. The other wolf is good – it is
love, peace, hope, kindness and truth. Everyone has
these wolves inside them. The boy thought and then
asked: Which wolf will win? The one, said his father,
that you feed. Anon.
This familiar story carries a powerful message –
that we can choose how we wish to be. By playing
the victim, harbouring resentments and blaming
others we feed the bad wolf. Euphoric recall of the
past does this too. Trusting, helping others and taking
responsibility are all ways of feeding the good wolf.
I will feed the good wolf.