Tag Archives: connection

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 18th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe slowly


Dreams and reality


It’s the possibility of having a dream come
true that makes life so interesting.
Paolo Coelho.
Not all dreams are worth working for. Are yours
valid? Imagine all your life pursuing a dream only to
find at the moment you have it, that it’s not up to
scratch. Sometimes a finite goal is better than a
dream. When you achieve your dream – perhaps to
be a millionaire – it can be a huge disappointment.
Perhaps it’s true what they say: the pleasure is in the
journey, not the arrival. Be careful what you wish
for. Will I be glad when my dreams come true?


Are my dreams actually just desires, a mirage of
endless pleasure that will turn to dross? A dream
worth pursuing has to be for a valid purpose.
Setting ourselves up to follow a dream like that is
fine but we should not become obsessed:
If you can dream and not make dreams
your master. Rudyard Kipling.
Whatever we achieve, there will still be things to do
after that. I ask to balance my dreams with reality.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 17th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment

Humility

Step Seven is about working to remove all our
shortcomings. That won’t happen simply because
we want it to. Our Higher Power will help us, but we
need to take action. From now on, every choice that
we make has to be based on our new principles,
attitudes and expectations. We need humility,
honesty and determination to make this happen.
This is new territory and every move we make
should first be considered, as if we were in a
minefield. Step Seven is one of the real work Steps
where we put into action the ideas we have learnt so
far. For example, if people-pleasing is one of our
defects of character, now is the time to choose to say
no when someone tries to manipulate you. Am I
ready to make the right choices?

There will be moments when I will find it hard to
make choices that are good for my long-term
growth. The new attitudes that I have been
practising since I started on the Steps are not
marks of weakness. They give me a realistic
sense of myself to enable me to interact
normally with other human beings. I no longer
need to pose as strong or tell people what they want
to hear. I can choose simply to be myself.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 16th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably

Spiritual Growth

People will surprise you if you give them a chance.
Some people have the courage to change, and some
do not. Perhaps the best surprise is the moment you
suddenly recognise your own worth, with all your
strengths and weaknesses. Courage to change can
seem an impossible goal but when the pain of not
changing is intense, we find it easier to do. If we
don’t change, we probably don’t grow, and our goal
is spiritual growth. Will I pursue the goal of spiritual
growth, through change?

When I plan ahead carefully for the future, I may be
setting myself up for a lot of anxiety and
disappointment. Life seldom goes according to
plan. If my own planning is too rigid, I will find
myself distressed when things go wrong. Better to
be flexible and to regard life’s surprises as stimuli
that serve to keep me on my toes. A positive attitude
that welcomes new challenges means that I am
more likely to produce a good response.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 15th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts


Alcoholics Anonymous, the Big Book

Today in 1938 the name Alcoholics Anonymous was
approved. Writing the Big Book had begun, but no
title had yet been agreed. From a shortlist of two,
the other possible title: ‘The Way Out’ ran into
copyright difficulties, so ‘Alcoholics Anonymous’
was chosen. It was published in 1939. The history of
the Big Book and how it was produced makes
fascinating reading. Named one of the most
influential books of all time, it has sold over thirty
million copies. Do I appreciate the work of the early
members of AA in producing such a seminal work?


AA is a goldmine of experience, support and
example which we can benefit from every day of our
lives, but the gold we extract must be given away.
There is so much paradox in my life already: ‘No
Gain without Pain’, ‘Surrender to Win’, even the
mysterious ‘Fake it to Make it.’ Giving away what I
have been given makes perfect sense because I am
the beneficiary from the giving of others. In my
gratitude and humility is my strength. I am
thankful for the Twelve Step fellowships and the
work that they do.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 14th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

Managing my internal revolution

The storming of the Bastille in Paris on this day in
1789 marked the start of a decade of bloody
revolution which led to the rise of Napoleon
Bonaparte – perhaps France’s most glorious era.. It’s
tempting to use the event as a metaphor for all kinds
of situations where great gain comes out of great
pain. Addicted people make their own drama and
we all need a revolution to depose our internal
‘ancien regime’ of sloth, dishonesty and hypocrisy.
No need to say more. Can I embrace my recovery in
the spirit of sobriety, liberty and fraternity?

I must accept the world as it is. Life is difficult and I
must take care not to make it any worse. People only
behave violently, as they did in the French
Revolution, when they have nothing to lose. But I on
the other hand must behave well, because I have
everything to lose – my new life in sobriety with all
that it has given me: new interests and peace of
mind, new friends and old friends rediscovered, and
most of all, my Higher Power. Today I give thanks
to God for taking me through moments of great
upheaval and pain into a state of peace of mind.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 13th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe slowly


Keep it simple


Thinking, feeling, perception and intuition are the
four functions of the ego, according to renowned
psychiatrist Carl Jung. Employing these, we
interpret and respond to reality. That works best
when we have rid ourselves of the burdens of the
past and the future and simply focus on today. We
distort our grasp of reality by our opinions, our
needs or our expectations. We must keep it simple,
then we can progress our personal development.
Do I appreciate that I must build my life on a
foundation of reality?


When you lack understanding and you
are unable to control your mind, your
senses do not obey you, just as unruly
horses do not obey a charioteer.
Hindu, Upanishads.
Total control of my mind will probably never
happen, but I must remember that my thoughts,
feelings and actions are all connected. If I focus on
these and do not let my opinions and expectations
get in the way, then I will be able to make the right
choices. I will use meditation and mindfulness to
help clarify my thoughts.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 12th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from top to toes

Positive, affirmative action

Three frogs sat on a log in a pond. One decided to
jump into the water. How many frogs were left on the
log? Three, because none actually jumped. There is
no point in deciding to take action unless you act.
The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
Half-truths are a way of avoiding action. Saying you
will ‘try’ is no good. Trying is lying, as they say in
the fellowships. There is no substitute. We should do
what we say we will do. That way, we gain selfesteem
and respect. Will I be a positive person who
always does what I say I will do?

I must strive to be the kind of person that does not
act just to seek the approval of others. If I feel that
what I do is morally right, then it should not matter
if I am approved or ridiculed, because I have peace
of mind. If I ask my Higher Power to guide me in all,
and not worry about the views of the world but
simply do what is right, I will have the courage of
my convictions. I ask that in doing so, I will become
an example to others and thus be giving of myself.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 11th by Chris B

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Understanding the obsession of addiction

JRR Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings has been cited
as a metaphor for addiction. The Ring works its
magic on all who seek it, rendering some
hopelessly obsessed. The effect on its custodian
Gollum is reminiscent of drugs such as heroin.
Gollum is entirely consumed by his attachment to
the Ring. Nothing is as important and his mental
and moral standards deteriorate. Interestingly, the
power of the Ring to corrupt Gollum was not equal
to ensnaring ‘good’ characters like Gandalf and
Frodo. They seem to have won through largely
because of the support and strength, they found in
each other’s company – a bit like AA. There is no
evidence that Tolkien had drugs in mind. Am I ready
to learn lessons of recovery from many sources?

I must never forget the corrupting power of alcohol
and drugs. Regular drug use can impair the ability
to choose right from wrong. Empathy is also found
at reduced levels in drug users. I will remember that
a small drink of alcohol does no harm to some
people, but it contains the potential to change me
from Gandalf into Gollum.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 10th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body gradually


Dangerous relapse situations

Talk of having a ‘slip’ can minimise its seriousness.
We can all get thoughts about drinking. Our
addiction keeps trying to stage a comeback. The
crucial moment is when the thought first appears.
We must be quick to root it out and not entertain
it because once we start dreaming about drinking
or using, we are unconsciously grooming ourselves
to embrace the notion. A cool glass of beer on a hot
day can be a delightful thought as we struggle down
a crowded city street but where would it lead us?

It is vital that we banish such thoughts immediately and
have a prearranged plan for doing so – a person to call
or a task to change our mindset. Do I have a plan to
deal with ideas of drinking and using?
As soon as I start to think that I am in control of my
life, that even subconsciously, I have no real need
for my Higher Power, then I am in danger. I must
carry out a reality check – back to basics: I am
addicted, probably no human power could have
relieved my addiction, but my Higher Power has
helped me do so, when asked. How can I think, when
I look at the past, that I can succeed on my own?

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 9th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably


The child within

Childhood can be tough. Traumatic events leave
emotional scars as well as physical ones. The absence
of love causes lasting psychological pain. A damaged
child learns to be wary of attachments because:

  • Love is conditional (manipulation)
  • Love makes you weak and vulnerable
  • Love must be searched for and can be lost
  • Love hurts but emotions need to be hidden.
    Many of us have had bad childhood experiences
    that still affect us. The way they have influenced
    our attitudes to life may be small – or large: Don’t
    do that, you’re not clever enough to try or don’t say
    what you really think – it’ll get you into
    trouble. Addiction is often rooted in attachment
    problems. Do I recognise the suffering of
    my inner child and see there is more work to do?

  • Past suffering remains a measure of who we are, a
    characteristic of our inner child. To comfort this
    child, we must understand suffering, because some
    good may come of it in the end. This can seem
    contradictory but is often a theme of religious
    teaching. Today, I will treat others with kindness.