Category Archives: Behavioural Addiction

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 8th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from top to toes

Gambling and cross-addiction

Pauline’s (not her real name) gambling problem led
her to steal thousands from her employer. She also
abused alcohol. She attempted suicide
unsuccessfully and then found Gamblers
Anonymous. With their support, she handed
finances over to her husband, self-excluded from
casinos and entered a debt management
programme. She attended GA and AA meetings
regularly. Gambling is often associated with heavy
drinking. Quitting behavioural addictions often
requires practical action. The need for courage and
honesty is there, whatever the addiction. Am I aware
of the dangers of cross-addiction?

Much addictive behaviour is progressive – it gets
gradually worse. Tolerance to drugs increases and
gambling stakes get bigger. Once we stop, we
should not expect everything to suddenly come right.
Recovery will be progressive, gradually getting better,
just as our disease used to get worse. Cross-addiction
may make the process even slower, but we must be
patient. I ask God today for the patience to understand progress, not perfection, in recovery

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 7th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment

Disease of addiction

Our active addiction traps us in a kind of ‘Stockholm
Syndrome’ where the captive becomes emotionally
attached to the captor, despite the latter’s malicious
intent. For some, giving up their addiction of
choice can seem like a bereavement, similar to the
loss of a loved one. We must recognise this
condition however illogical it may seem. Long term
addiction distorts our ability to see things as they
really are. We are complex people and addiction is a
very complex disease, but the underlying message is
very simple: it will kill us if we allow it to. Do I fully
understand that I have a disease that can kill me?

It is almost unbelievable that intelligent people
would continue self-destructive behaviour to the
point of death when fully aware of the consequences.
Yet addicted people do it all the time. Fear of death
may seem less than fear of losing our drug or
behaviour of choice, but it is more complicated
than that. Emotional pain, self- deception and ego
are such toxic ingredients that only the most powerful
thing can defeat them – Higher Power. Today I ask
that I never forget the power of God’s help.

Daily reading from Recovery Days April 6th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts

Giving it away to keep it


To paraphrase US President JF Kennedy: Ask not
what your recovery can do for you but what you
can do for your recovery. Happy recovery is not
possible if we are driven by our egos. We must give
recovery away in order to keep it. Another President
(Roosevelt) announced a ‘New Deal’ to end the Great
Depression in the 1930’s. Recovery is our New Deal,
and we must make it work. Fortunately, in the
Twelve Steps, we have the means, so that recovery of,
by and for addicted people, is entirely possible. It is
our blessing and our salvation. Enough paraphrasing.
Will I work to keep my recovery by giving it away?


Give and it will be given to you. With the blessing of
recovery comes responsibility to pass it on to the less
fortunate. We must never allow ourselves to be
simply takers because selfishness inevitably causes
alienation and leads back to isolation and selfprotective
attitudes. Before we know it, we are back
in the vicious cycle of meeting our own selfish needs
before everything else. Today I ask God for the gift
of altruism so I may help myself by helping others.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 5th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – review expectations


Step Four


Step Four involves taking a thorough and searching
personal inventory. An important aspect of this Step
is to examine our personal values – what we
respect, hold precious and protect. This goes to the
heart of our beliefs, especially our view of ourselves
and of the world. Our own values dictate how we
interact with others. Do we respect them, disdain
them, or feel the need to rescue? We would do well
to remember that we are not responsible for other
people and to ask ourselves honestly: do I protect
what I value, and do I respect what others value?

Sometimes it is hard to recognise that a problem is
not mine and refuse accordingly to take on the
difficulties of others. Being a compulsive helper
does not resolve the other’s problem because they
need to take responsibility for their own lives. I can
only change myself, and that’s work enough. There
are many paradoxes in recovery: surrender in order
to win is one, and another is this: recovery is about
making connections but also about setting proper
boundaries. I ask today to know the difference
between when to protect and when to respect.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 4th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – Close eyes

Honest in all my affairs

Absolute honesty requires constant attention. Many
addicted people are experts at ‘getting away with
things.’ For example, blaming others for our
situation is usually a form of dishonesty to ourselves
because we cannot face the reality that we are
responsible for the choices we make. Denial of the
severity of our illness is another example. Unless we
can get into the habit of being rigorously honest
with ourselves in every way, then no amount of
courage or positive action is going to help us stay
sober because we will be starting from a position of
unreality. Will I be honest today in all my affairs?

Honesty demands courage. So often in the past, we
chose the softer, easier way because we weren’t
brave enough to stand up for the truth. In recovery,
we must change. Where do we find that courage?
From our Higher Power, acting through people –
support and example of our brothers and sisters in
recovery. I ask God today for strength in my
weakness, courage

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 3rd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe calmly


Conscience

Everyone experiences cognitive dissonance in their
lives, in some form– the moment when you
consider or do something that jars with your
principles. It could be as minor as dropping litter in
the street. People struggling with addiction often
live a life of repeated cognitive dissonance because
every time they drink or use, they are acting against
their deepest instincts. This causes anxiety and is
highly stressful – humans do not like this state and
may try to ease the pain with a quick fix. The only
way to end dissonance and restore emotional
balance is to listen to our conscience with honesty
and then, to redress the situation with courage. Am I
ready to listen to my conscience honestly?

I believe that help is available outside myself. I
experience this help in all kinds of ways, every day.
People of faith seldom lack courage, but it is not
empty bravado. It is the quiet and humble
knowledge that our lives have a purpose and that we
will be guided to that purpose if we ask. Today I ask
for the honesty to listen to my conscience

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 2nd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably

Honesty


Addiction is a Faustian pact that we make by trading
short-term pleasure and relief for dire consequences
at a later date. Few of us, however, make the pact in
a measured way. Instead, we find ourselves at the
bottom of a slippery slope sometimes without
realising how it happened. Yet, we can’t avoid
responsibility. We must be honest and brave in
facing the mess we created, recognising our part.
Do I take responsibility for my part in my addiction?

In the depths of our despair, we reach out to our
Higher Power for help. Admitting defeat requires
courage but we have little choice because addiction
says to us, as Bill W put it: You had better do God’s
will or I will kill you. Nevertheless, despite the
evidence, there are some whose egos simply won’t
allow them to do so. We can only hope and pray that
they find the capacity for being honest before it is
too late. Today I pray for those who are unable to be
honest with themselves – may they eventually find
the strength and honesty that they need.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 1st by Chris B

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On this day in 1943, the Big Book of AA was published

Big Book

Alcoholics Anonymous is one of the most influential
books of all time. In 2011, the 30 millionth copy was
presented to the American Medical Association,
which declared Alcoholism an illness in 1956. A
parallel book – Narcotics Anonymous, was
produced in the 1980’s, based on an earlier Little
White Book. This has sold several million copies.
There is an almost biblical flavour to the history of
these publications. Their production required the
involvement of many contributors, and the editing
process was not always easy. Still highly relevant
today, they stand as a monument to the dedication
and wisdom of the early fellowship members. Am I
grateful for the integrity and industry of the pioneers
of AA, NA and other fellowships?

Millions throughout the world who have achieved
sobriety through following 12 Step programmes are
living proof that they work. When much of the world
appears unstable and unreliable, it is reassuring to
have the rock of the Twelve Step fellowships in our
lives. Today I thank God for a second chance at life.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days March 31st by Chris B

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On this day in 1947, the original AA meeting was held in London

Message of recovery

In the course of this month, we have looked at
surrender, fellowship, gratitude, facing reality,
power of example, and a lot of other things besides.
It may seem complicated, but we should never lose
sight of the basic message which is quite simple: we
can change our lives – it needs honesty, openness,
courage, and willingness to change but we can do it,
with God’s help. Addiction is a complex, vicious,
and powerful disease but it responds to treatment
and can be successfully held in remission. Do I fully
understand the message of recovery?

Our lives have not gone the way we expected.
Addiction has forced us into making a ‘plan B’ for
our lives. But the good news is that plan B is so
much better than plan A. We have been blessed by
receiving this second chance and we must show our
gratitude by making amends to those we have hurt
and carrying the message to others in need.
Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.
Psalm 126.
Today I thank God for a second chance at life.

Daily Reading from Recovery days March 30th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts
Contentment
People say contentment in recovery happens in
stages – at first sobriety can be a confusing time
when we don’t quite know what’s happening but at
least we’re sober; then our mind and body grow
fitter, but we are still a bit anxious; then after
several months we relax, feel the power, and start to
enjoy our new life. Healthcare professionals talk
of five elements needed for true wellbeing:

  • Make connections
  • Take action
  • Take notice
  • Keep learning
  • Give.
    A Twelve Step programme would meet all these
    requirements. Do I fully understand the path to
    feeling better than well?
    All the above elements require effort. They will not
    just happen. Many us have been so trapped in our
    role of helpless victim and are not good at taking
    action. But nothing changes if nothing changes, as
    they say in AA. We must ask for help. Today I thank
    God for leading me to a contented recovery.