Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 27 by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment

Tolerance

The wider our experience, the deeper our tolerance. At fellowship meetings we sometimes hear stories that would make great newspaper headlines if we were not bound to silence and anonymity. Yet, we listen with understanding and our response: ‘There but for the grace of God go I’, is heartfelt and entirely genuine. Tolerance should not be taken as a sign of minimising but as one of empathy and compassion. We have all done things we regret and talking about them openly is the best form of therapy. Am I ready to listen when another shares their experiences, with tolerance rather than judgement?

I used to judge people negatively because it made me feel better about myself. My self-esteem was low and I was envious of ordinary people and couldn’t see how I could ever be like them. But now I have a sense of purpose and am trying to do things right. I find that I think more positively about myself and have no need to try to bring others down to my level. I no longer need to judge others and make unfavourable comparisons, for the sake of my low self-esteem and I give thanks for that today.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 26 by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from top to toes

Action and contemplation

What we plant in the soil of contemplation, we shall reap in the harvest of action. Meister Eckhart. The fourteenth-century mystic is saying here what others have said since: that both contemplation and action are needed. It is not a case of either one or the other, but both together. As Pope Gregory the Great wrote, hundreds of years before Eckhart, activity and thought are like two eyes that work together to produce eyesight. The debate on whether to be or to do, continues today – whether to be Mary or Martha. Do I understand the benefits of both action and contemplation?

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and all your mind and love your neighbour as yourself. St Luke. In loving God, I engage in contemplation and in loving my neighbour, I engage in positive action. Both are a form of connection, fundamental when dealing with the disease of addiction, which is basically, an attachment disorder. I ask for the wisdom to take positive action, when I need

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 25 by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts

Nicotine

It’s not so very long ago that the majority of people smoked tobacco wherever and whenever they wanted. Successful government campaigns changed attitudes and behaviours. Smoking is an addiction with health consequences that are as serious as many other drugs. It is not wise for anyone to develop a dependence on any addictive behaviour and cross addiction means that one addiction can lead to another. Smoking tobacco can easily lead to smoking other substances such as marijuana. A lot of people find that smoking tobacco and alcohol goes well together. Am I aware of the dangers of cross-addiction?

Any kind of dependence can limit my ability to grow and mature as an adult person. Dependence makes me selfish, fearful and avoidant of responsibility. I used to think that I was an independent person when in fact I was the opposite. It was only when I faced reality and asked for help that I started to become truly mature and independent. Today I give thanks to the fellowships for the help to grow and become mature.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 24th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

Managing cravings

The psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross was an expert on the process of dying and much respected for her ‘death with dignity’ approach. She formulated the Five Stages of Grief that people facing death or bereavement experience: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. When addicted people quit their habit, they often go through a bereavement process similar to this, where these five stages may be identified. Such a process is likely to be emotional and arduous. Some people never lose the desire for their substance or behaviour of choice. Bill W, co-founder of AA, had cravings for alcohol until the end of his life. That is neither reprehensible nor surprising. Do I recognise the power of addiction and not judge others?

Recovery from addiction is management of an ongoing illness. Recovery is not a cure. My addiction, although in remission, may send craving messages to my brain for years. There is nothing surprising in this. I just deny such requests in a forceful manner and move on. The voice in my head grows weaker but it may never go entirely. I ask God to always help me deny cravings.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 23rd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably

Compassion, not judgement

If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell? No, said the missionary, not if you did not know. Then why, asked the tribesman earnestly, did you tell me? T his familiar story illustrates the idea that ‘ignorance is bliss.’. People in denial from addiction sometimes react like this when they find themselves in rehab. They realise they have lost their innocent attitude towards addiction and will henceforward always feel guilty. Basically, they are not yet ready to quit. Everyone deals with their problems in their own way and in their own time. We should not judge people for not acting in the way we would like. Am I able not to judge others but instead, to show compassion?

Shame and guilt play a big part in my personality. But in recovery, they will hold me back. Of course, I feel ashamed of my past, and even my belief that I am a good but sick person who has done regrettable things, does not lift the burden. However, Steps Eight and Nine provide a way of dealing with this. I must act to complete these steps thoroughly and over time, as I work through my list of amends, I will feel the burden become lighter. Today I ask for insight into my past behaviour.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 22nd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe slowly

No compromises

Contrary to popular belief, crocodiles do not make good pets. Internet. You do not compromise with a crocodile, and you do not welcome it, or any potential killer, into your home. The same is true of addiction. Looking at the attractive label on a bottle of fine wine, it is hard to accept its lethal side. Yet alcoholrelated deaths run into thousands each year. Recovery from any addiction is not a process of negotiation, there are no grey areas, no wiggle room, the only approach is zero tolerance. Otherwise, we might as well follow the lead of numerous people, some quite well known, which is essentially: Find what you love and let it kill you. Do I understand that there is no compromise with addiction of any kind?

T he world seems to expect compromises in almost every area including truth, kindness, gratitude and actions. But I can be different. As I grow in experience and maturity, I understand that I do not have to go along with the crowd. Instead, I have learned to follow my conscience. When I have difficult choices to make, I will ask my Higher Power for help. Integrity is about doing what you believe is right: If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming you. Kipling. I ask God for the strength not to compromise on matters concerning my addiction.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 21st by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from top to toes

Maintenance

Maintenance can be done at any time, but it must happen. Sometimes if you’re really busy you might forget to check your car – tyres, oil, lights and so forth. If you let things slide too much, the car becomes a problem. Eventually it may become downright dangerous. The analogy with addiction recovery is obvious. Maintenance can seem a bit of a chore sometimes, but it helps to view it positively. It is time spent helping us to continue enjoying the wellbeing and contentment that we already have, not a struggle to save us from relapsing. Taking a few moments to ensure we are spreading the message, doing service, making amends and taking personal inventory are all that is required, so we are in the best possible shape to continue our journey. Am I making time for regular maintenance checks?

Maintenance is not something exclusive to recovery and to motor cars. Other things requiring maintenance include physical health, friendships and beliefs. Little and often is the key to smooth running because you never know what challenges there may be around the corner. The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. John F Kennedy. I know that my recovery plan must include the commitment to keep it in good repair.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 20th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

Balance

Balance in life is everything. The all-or-nothing attitude that we had while our addiction was on the rampage does not serve us well in recovery. If possible, we should seek to grow in all the main areas of our lives and the techniques we can use include meditation and prayer, education and experience, and sharing and discussion. We do not have to be perfectly balanced in our approach but there is a danger if we focus too much on just one aspect – say meditation – and ignore the others. Honesty, openness and willingness to change can be useful reference points in checking our recovery actions. Sometimes it helps to see someone who you think is handling their recovery in a purposeful and balanced way and use them as a role model. Am I growing my recovery in a balanced way?

If I feel overwhelmed in any aspect of my life – work, home or relationships, then perhaps I have not been giving enough attention to self-care. Looking at to-do lists, and anxiety levels honestly will tell me if this is the case. The solution may be as simple as learning to say ‘no’ or to do with my expectations and the pressure I put on myself to succeed. I need to get real. Recovery is about peace of mind and enjoying life, not about putting myself in difficult situations. I ask for insight to look at myself honestly and make changes, to give my life balance.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 19th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body gradually

Power of addiction

Chronicles relate that in 1066 the English passed the night before the battle of Hastings in drinking. The Normans spent the time confessing their sins. The English had a reputation as heavy drinkers even then, although drunkenness was considered a double sin under the two headings of gluttony and selfdestruction (thou shalt not kill). Seeing alcohol abuse as a slow form of suicide has not deterred many drinkers. Nor have any other intellectual arguments. It seems it is only when the pain of addiction becomes greater than the pain of stopping that we seek help. Do I recognise the power of addiction to kill me?

Sometimes it all seems too much. We try everything we can think of to stop our addictive behaviour, and we still fail but we keep on trying. We will succeed eventually. With our Higher Power, we will prevail because we now have something greater than addiction. We have discovered that there are better choices than addiction – ones with more power to help us. I ask today that I will never give in to the power of addiction.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 18th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe slowly

Dreams and reality

It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life so interesting. Paolo Coelho. Most dreams are worth working for. And worth failing for. But not all. So, what are your dreams? Are they valid? Imagine all your life pursuing a dream only to find at the moment you have it, that it’s not up to scratch. Sometimes a dream is a better motivator than an actual goal. When you actually achieve your dream – perhaps to be a millionaire – it can be a huge disappointment. Perhaps it’s true what they say: the pleasure is in the journey, not the arrival. So be careful what you wish for. Am I sure that I will be glad when my dreams come true?

Are my dreams actually just desires, a mirage of endless pleasure that will turn to dross? A dream worth pursuing has to be for a valid purpose and there are such dreams: to marry and have a family for example, or to become a doctor. Setting ourselves up to follow a dream like that is fine but we should remember that life does not cease at such moments. If you can dream and not make dreams your master. Kipling. Whatever we achieve, there will always be something to do after that. Simply making sure that everything we do is done for the right purpose, may result in fulfilling our greatest dream – happiness on a daily basis. I ask to balance my dreams with reality.