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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

Managing cravings

The psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross was an expert on the process of dying and much respected for her ‘death with dignity’ approach. She formulated the Five Stages of Grief that people facing death or bereavement experience: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. When addicted people quit their habit, they often go through a bereavement process similar to this, where these five stages may be identified. Such a process is likely to be emotional and arduous. Some people never lose the desire for their substance or behaviour of choice. Bill W, co-founder of AA, had cravings for alcohol until the end of his life. That is neither reprehensible nor surprising. Do I recognise the power of addiction and not judge others?

Recovery from addiction is management of an ongoing illness. Recovery is not a cure. My addiction, although in remission, may send craving messages to my brain for years. There is nothing surprising in this. I just deny such requests in a forceful manner and move on. The voice in my head grows weaker but it may never go entirely. I ask God to always help me deny cravings.

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from top to toes

Maintenance

Maintenance can be done at any time, but it must happen. Sometimes if you’re really busy you might forget to check your car – tyres, oil, lights and so forth. If you let things slide too much, the car becomes a problem. Eventually it may become downright dangerous. The analogy with addiction recovery is obvious. Maintenance can seem a bit of a chore sometimes, but it helps to view it positively. It is time spent helping us to continue enjoying the wellbeing and contentment that we already have, not a struggle to save us from relapsing. Taking a few moments to ensure we are spreading the message, doing service, making amends and taking personal inventory are all that is required, so we are in the best possible shape to continue our journey. Am I making time for regular maintenance checks?

Maintenance is not something exclusive to recovery and to motor cars. Other things requiring maintenance include physical health, friendships and beliefs. Little and often is the key to smooth running because you never know what challenges there may be around the corner. The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. John F Kennedy. I know that my recovery plan must include the commitment to keep it in good repair.

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

Balance

Balance in life is everything. The all-or-nothing attitude that we had while our addiction was on the rampage does not serve us well in recovery. If possible, we should seek to grow in all the main areas of our lives and the techniques we can use include meditation and prayer, education and experience, and sharing and discussion. We do not have to be perfectly balanced in our approach but there is a danger if we focus too much on just one aspect – say meditation – and ignore the others. Honesty, openness and willingness to change can be useful reference points in checking our recovery actions. Sometimes it helps to see someone who you think is handling their recovery in a purposeful and balanced way and use them as a role model. Am I growing my recovery in a balanced way?

If I feel overwhelmed in any aspect of my life – work, home or relationships, then perhaps I have not been giving enough attention to self-care. Looking at to-do lists, and anxiety levels honestly will tell me if this is the case. The solution may be as simple as learning to say ‘no’ or to do with my expectations and the pressure I put on myself to succeed. I need to get real. Recovery is about peace of mind and enjoying life, not about putting myself in difficult situations. I ask for insight to look at myself honestly and make changes, to give my life balance.