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Secrets

Secrets keep us sick. Shame prevents us sharing some of our darkest secrets, yet these are a part of who we are. I see my relationship with my Higher Power as a partnership, albeit an unequal one. I believe that this power works through other people, but how can I have a true partnership when I am withholding secrets? Secrets are part of the wall I constructed to keep people out – the wall that isolated me from human contact. As long as I have secrets, I have shame, and with shame comes low self-esteem and fear. It is no good trying to bury my secrets in the past and hoping they will just fade away. The past has happened, but it is still there in memories, to be visited as we wish. Have I dealt with the secrets of my past?

Secrets, and the shame that surrounds them, can hold me back in recovery because my instincts will tell me: don’t talk, don’t feel, don’t trust. Yet the Twelve Step fellowships are full of people who are able to listen and relate to my pain, because they have been though similar experiences. ‘Trust and Share’ is a well-known slogan that refers directly back to the Serenity Prayer. Today I ask for the courage to change the things I can, so that I release