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Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 27 by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment

Tolerance

The wider our experience, the deeper our tolerance. At fellowship meetings we sometimes hear stories that would make great newspaper headlines if we were not bound to silence and anonymity. Yet, we listen with understanding and our response: ‘There but for the grace of God go I’, is heartfelt and entirely genuine. Tolerance should not be taken as a sign of minimising but as one of empathy and compassion. We have all done things we regret and talking about them openly is the best form of therapy. Am I ready to listen when another shares their experiences, with tolerance rather than judgement?

I used to judge people negatively because it made me feel better about myself. My self-esteem was low and I was envious of ordinary people and couldn’t see how I could ever be like them. But now I have a sense of purpose and am trying to do things right. I find that I think more positively about myself and have no need to try to bring others down to my level. I no longer need to judge others and make unfavourable comparisons, for the sake of my low self-esteem and I give thanks for that today.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 26 by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from top to toes

Action and contemplation

What we plant in the soil of contemplation, we shall reap in the harvest of action. Meister Eckhart. The fourteenth-century mystic is saying here what others have said since: that both contemplation and action are needed. It is not a case of either one or the other, but both together. As Pope Gregory the Great wrote, hundreds of years before Eckhart, activity and thought are like two eyes that work together to produce eyesight. The debate on whether to be or to do, continues today – whether to be Mary or Martha. Do I understand the benefits of both action and contemplation?

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and all your mind and love your neighbour as yourself. St Luke. In loving God, I engage in contemplation and in loving my neighbour, I engage in positive action. Both are a form of connection, fundamental when dealing with the disease of addiction, which is basically, an attachment disorder. I ask for the wisdom to take positive action, when I need

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 18th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe slowly

Dreams and reality

It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life so interesting. Paolo Coelho. Most dreams are worth working for. And worth failing for. But not all. So, what are your dreams? Are they valid? Imagine all your life pursuing a dream only to find at the moment you have it, that it’s not up to scratch. Sometimes a dream is a better motivator than an actual goal. When you actually achieve your dream – perhaps to be a millionaire – it can be a huge disappointment. Perhaps it’s true what they say: the pleasure is in the journey, not the arrival. So be careful what you wish for. Am I sure that I will be glad when my dreams come true?

Are my dreams actually just desires, a mirage of endless pleasure that will turn to dross? A dream worth pursuing has to be for a valid purpose and there are such dreams: to marry and have a family for example, or to become a doctor. Setting ourselves up to follow a dream like that is fine but we should remember that life does not cease at such moments. If you can dream and not make dreams your master. Kipling. Whatever we achieve, there will always be something to do after that. Simply making sure that everything we do is done for the right purpose, may result in fulfilling our greatest dream – happiness on a daily basis. I ask to balance my dreams with reality.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 10th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body

Dangerous relapse situations

Talk of having a ‘slip’ can minimise its seriousness. We can all get thoughts about drinking. Our addiction keeps trying to stage a comeback. The crucial moment is when the thought first appears. We must be quick to root it out and not entertain it because once we start dreaming about drinking or using, we are unconsciously grooming ourselves to embrace the notion. A cool glass of beer on a hot day can be a delightful thought as we struggle down a crowded city street but where would it lead us? It is vital that we banish such thoughts immediately and have a prearranged plan for doing so – a person to call or a task to change our mindset. Do I have a plan to deal with ideas of drinking and using?

As soon as I start to think that I am in control of my life, that even subconsciously, I have no real need for my Higher Power, then I am in danger. I must carry out a reality check – back to basics: I am addicted, probably no human power could have relieved my addiction, but my Higher Power has helped me do so, when asked. How can I think, when I look at the past, that I can succeed on my own?

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 6th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from top to toes

Power of example

Everything we say and write comes in one of four forms: statement, question, exclamation or command. The Twelve Steps are written in the form of a statement: Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a programme of recovery. Before the AA Big Book was published, in 1939, the authors were advised to make the tone of the work less directive: a lot of ‘musts’ were replaced by ‘should’ or ‘we suggest’. Remarkably, the approach worked. Perhaps alcoholics are people who don’t like being told what to do. If you compare the Twelve Steps of AA to the Ten Commandments in the Christian Bible, you will see a marked difference in tone.

Reading the AA Big Book widens our knowledge of Alcoholics Anonymous and of addiction itself. There is something very moving about reading the lives and experiences of people just like us who struggled with addiction nearly a hundred years ago. Their problem was mine and all of their stories are truly inspirational. I am proud and grateful to follow in their footsteps. I will try to be open to the possibilities of change so that with humility and love I too can be an example to others.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 5th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

Help to change

Honesty, openness and willingness to change are three essentials of successful recovery. Openness is important because it allows us to accept new ideas. These can take many forms but one of the most surprising for some people is the idea of a Higher Power. Yet, anyone looking back at our past and the change that has happened since, might conclude that they see something pretty miraculous. How do people who have been written off as hopelessly addicted manage to turn their lives around? Since we were unable to help ourselves at that time, some other powerful force must have appeared.

A miracle is an extraordinary event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws. Life itself is one – nobody has been able to explain scientifically how it first happened. I am not being asked to believe in a specific source of power in the universe. I am simply asked to open my mind to the idea that there is a power of some kind that is greater than me and which helps me if asked. I can feel that power in the experience, strength and support of other people. May it always be there for us all, so that what I see darkly, I will see face to face one day.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 4th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body gradually

Enjoy the simple things in life

Happiness and good self-esteem are legitimate goals in life and recovery gives us a second chance. In that sense, we are truly fortunate. Life may be difficult, but recovery should most certainly be enjoyable, otherwise – what is the point? Our goal should be to become ‘Better than Well’. If we keep things simple and just try to do the right thing, we will reach our goal in the end. Poet William Blake wrote about the simple things of creation and the need to know right from wrong:

To see a World in a Grain of Sand And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,

Hold Infinity in the Palm of your Hand And Eternity in an Hour

William Blake.

There is a choice in life between the material and the spiritual – between wealth, pride and status on the one hand and honesty, love and service on the other. Which will be the dominant principle in my life? It is difficult to try to achieve both. Wealth and status are not necessarily evil, but I need to choose whatever brings peace of mind and happiness.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days June 30th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – review

Better than well

This month we have explored humility, not wanting, listening and keeping it simple. We have looked at how mindfulness can help us bring balance and calm into our days. The process of spiritual growth is gradually happening within us. You could say the same thing about learning to enjoy life. Perhaps the two are linked. We will not achieve this ‘better than well’ state without ensuring that our attitudes, aims and choices are right. Do I understand that the goal of ‘better than well’ is not a passive state but something to be worked for?

Every day that I try my best to follow the programme of recovery, I am learning new habits. Perhaps I can already feel the difference. Each time that I help another person, be true to my word and assert myself appropriately, I increase my self-respect. If I can tell myself each night that I did my best, then I will feel peace of mind and will thank my Higher Power for guiding me. I ask God today to continue guiding me along the route of spiritual progress.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days June 29th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body gradually

Steps Six and Seven

Judge each day by the seeds you plant, not by the harvest that you reap. We long for quick results that confirm our success and validate our self-image. Sometimes it doesn’t work like that. Maturity is about doing things that require the long view. It is a sign of immaturity to look for instant gratification – that’s how we used to be. Letting go of our childish ways is a part of growing up in recovery.

When I became a man, I put away childish things. St Paul, Corinthians.

Steps Six and Seven are about letting go. I must now be ready to let go of my character defects and the shame and guilt that go with them. This is not as easy as it sounds, unless I have help. Today I ask God for guidance in letting go of my past.

St Paul makes letting go sound easy but some of us struggle with impatience. We perceive all our tomorrows as an unbearable eternity. Much better to be patient. Can I take things a day at a time?

Daily Reading from Recovery Days June 28th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment

Al-Anon

We who are in recovery have managed with the help of a Higher Power, to rise phoenix-like from the bonfire of our addictive vanities. But how should our loved ones deal with this strange but vaguely familiar creature that has re-entered their lives? People in early recovery are often touchy and emotionally fragile. The best thing that family members can do for this ‘phoenix’ is to stay detached but supportive while they themselves go to Al-Anon. Do I appreciate the power of Al-Anon?

If instead of a triumphant hero, our phoenix turns out to be a wobbly, ambivalent and slightly lame duck, that does not necessarily mean disaster. The first bab steps are often faltering. Family members are advised to remember the ‘Three C’s’ – I did not cause this; I cannot cure this, and I cannot control this. Sometimes loved ones are so desperate for the person’s success that they find themselves managing their recovery for them. But success will only come when the addicted person takes action. Today I give thanks for the fellowship of Al-Anon.