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Remember Mindfulness – review expectations
Step Four
Step Four involves taking a thorough and searching
personal inventory. An important aspect of this Step
is to examine our personal values – what we
respect, hold precious and protect. This goes to the
heart of our beliefs, especially our view of ourselves
and of the world. Our own values dictate how we
interact with others. Do we respect them, disdain
them, or feel the need to rescue? We would do well
to remember that we are not responsible for other
people and to ask ourselves honestly: do I protect
what I value, and do I respect what others value?
Sometimes it is hard to recognise that a problem is
not mine and refuse accordingly to take on the
difficulties of others. Being a compulsive helper
does not resolve the other’s problem because they
need to take responsibility for their own lives. I can
only change myself, and that’s work enough. There
are many paradoxes in recovery: surrender in order
to win is one, and another is this: recovery is about
making connections but also about setting proper
boundaries. I ask today to know the difference
between when to protect and when to respect.