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Daily Reading from Recovery Days June 28th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment

Al-Anon


We who are in recovery have managed with the help
of a Higher Power, to rise phoenix-like from the
bonfire of our addictive vanities. But how should
our loved ones deal with this strange but vaguely
familiar creature that has re-entered their lives?
People in early recovery are often touchy and
emotionally fragile. The best thing that family
members can do for this ‘phoenix’ is to stay
detached but supportive while they themselves go
to Al-Anon. Do I appreciate the power of Al-Anon?


If instead of a triumphant hero, our phoenix turns
out to be a wobbly, ambivalent and slightly lame
duck, that does not necessarily mean disaster. The
first baby steps are often faltering. Family
members are advised to remember the ‘Three C’s’
– I did not cause this; I cannot cure this, and I
cannot control this. Sometimes loved ones are so
desperate for the person’s success that they
find themselves managing their recovery for
them. But success will only come when the
addicted person takes action. Today I give thanks
for the fellowship of Al-Anon.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days January 21st by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your body

Fellowship


The Twelve Steps begin with the word ‘we’.
Fellowship is all about that. It is actually quite hard
to attend a fellowship meeting and not interact with
anyone, because so much of our principles and
traditions are concerned with the concept of ‘we’ –
that is, togetherness. The hand of friendship is
always extended. The group is more powerful than
the individual. Yet no member can compel, punish,
or expel anyone. Many times, we hear outsiders
exclaim I wish I belonged to that group of yours. Am
I grateful to belong to one of the Twelve Step
fellowships?

adversity creates the strongest of bonds, as
anyone who has been in the army, or a boarding
school will confirm. Being part of a football team is
totally different from being a spectator. The
intensity of the team spirit produces results, and the
same happens in recovery. We are truly blessed to
have not just our sobriety, but a worldwide support
system that is freely ours for the taking. All we have
to do is turn up. Today I pray for the sobriety, wellbeing
and happiness of the band of brothers and
sisters with whom I am proud to belong.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days January 18th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – review expectations

Leap of faith


A newly sober person is like a prisoner, released after
a long solitary confinement. The idea of freedom is
exciting, but he is still fearful to come out of his cell
because he’s forgotten what the world is like. He
doesn’t know how people will view him – perhaps
they will reject him. He knows how that feels. Very
carefully, he takes a few steps outside. Will he be
himself and face reality or will he slink in the
shadows, afraid of the consequences? It is a crucial
moment. Am I ready to leave the shadows and be
where I belong?

Taking a leap of faith is always a challenge. Perhaps
that is the reason why the ‘Promises’, in the AA Big
Book, are so well known. There is no mention of
addiction in these promises because our new life has
no need for it. Any person, addicted or not, could
hardly fail to find them an inspiring and highly
desirable set of goals. Yet they are very achievable
for anyone prepared to work the Twelve Steps with
honesty, openness, and willingness to change. Today
I ask for the confidence of doing what is right, so
that I may live a life of belonging described in the
promises.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days December 29th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly


Mistakes

Most of us react to mistakes with shame and doubt.
This is usually followed by fear of making more
mistakes. It is a very self-defeating cycle that seems
strange when we know that learning is a process of
both trial and error. You don’t learn to walk by
learning rules, you learn by trying and falling over.
Mistakes, as we know, are opportunities. Most of
us don’t even remember the mistakes we made last
week. Try recording every mistake that you make in
the course of one day and then review the results
and the consequences. Do you still regret those
mistakes, or did you learn from them?

Can you imagine waking up one day to discover you
are alone in a strange country. To survive, you would
have to learn a lot of things fast including the
language. Imagine how many mistakes you would
have to make. Yet, such an experience is said to be
the best way of learning. You just have to be open
to trying. You become a stronger and more
accomplished person along the way. Today I ask for
the courage to make mistakes.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days December 17th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly


Anonymity


Anonymity is not a device to stop the world from knowing our dread secrets. It has two main purposes; firstly, to protect and reassure newcomers that their words and actions will be treated completely confidentially. The social stigma surrounding addiction is considerable. Many addicted people feel shame, which stops them from opening up or even seeking help. Secondly, anonymity encourages us to treat our clean and sober status with humility. There is no place for personal glorification or other profit derived from publicising our recovery. Am I grateful for the concept of anonymity that the programme provides?

Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities. (Tradition Twelve of Alcoholics Anonymous). It is likely that many of us are not anonymous as regards our family, friends and daily contacts. Indeed, there may be positive benefits from that. However, it is important we always remember the Twelve Step fellowships should not be used simply as a means for personal publicity and profit. Our only purpose in breaking anonymity should be in pursuit of greater understanding. Today I give thanks for the wisdom of those who worked to build the Twelve Step fellowships.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days December 14th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment


Change

If I am to continue to change, as I hope I will do, I need an idea of what I would like to become. The Twelve Steps have helped me identify character defects and I now wish to create something better. What do I admire in others? The Twelve Steps emphasise honesty, courage, responsibility, unselfishness, integrity and willingness to change. Few people have all these qualities at full strength, but some display perhaps a few of these to great effect. We should study them as role models and learn from them because the example of others is a powerful force for change in ourselves. Am I working on spiritual growth through learning from the example of others?


‘Courage to change’ is a part of the wording of the Serenity Prayer. If I am going to move from good intention to action, I must start doing things to help my recovery. Do I have a sponsor and a home group? Apart from the support and guidance that they give me, what can I learn from their attitudes and example? A child learns from watching how its parents behave more than from what they say. I will help myself to change by understanding the process of how it happens. I ask for the humility to learn from others.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days December 6th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment

Perception


Robert Burns, the Scottish Bard, wrote the tender poem about parting: Ae Fond Kiss, to Agnes (Nancy) Maclehose, a beautiful Edinburgh lady with whom he had an intense, though unconsummated relationship. They were forced to part on this day, following his marriage to Jean Armour in 1791. For the next 45 years Nancy wrote in her journal This day I can never forget, parted with Robert in 1791. Oh, may we meet in heaven. Burns seems to have coped with the parting rather more easily, having fathered a child with her serving maid. The story illustrates how two people can view one event in entirely different ways. Do I understand that the manner in which I perceive a situation is not necessarily the way that others perceive the same event?


I must not assume that things are always the way I see them. Making assumptions leads to judging others and to black and white thinking, where people either agree with me, or they are wrong. I must learn to keep an open mind and respect the point of view of other people. This sometimes requires humility but, as I work on my character defects, I come to see how important is to manage my ego properly. Today I will continue to work on ego management.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days December 5th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts

Secrets

Secrets keep us sick. Shame prevents us sharing some of our darkest secrets, yet these are a part of who we are. I see my relationship with my Higher Power as a partnership, albeit an unequal one. I believe that this power works through other people, but how can I have a true partnership when I am withholding secrets? Secrets are part of the wall I constructed to keep people out – the wall that isolated me from human contact. As long as I have secrets, I have shame, and with shame comes low self-esteem and fear. It is no good trying to bury my secrets in the past and hoping they will just fade away. The past has happened, but it is still there in memories, to be visited as we wish. Have I dealt with the secrets of my past?


Secrets, and the shame that surrounds them, can hold me back in recovery because my instincts will tell me: don’t talk, don’t feel, don’t trust. Yet the Twelve Step fellowships are full of people who are able to listen and relate to my pain, because they have been though similar experiences. ‘Trust and Share’ is a well-known slogan that refers directly back to the Serenity Prayer. Today I ask for the courage to change the things I can, so that I release

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 6th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly


Dry drunk

Early recovery isn’t easy. We may have stopped our
addictive behaviour, but contented sobriety seems far
away. Instead, we feel irritable, negative, impatient,
resentful, depressed, anxious and nostalgic for the
past; perhaps all at the same time. This won’t last
forever, but we need a coping plan. Not everyone
gets to feel thus, but the condition is common enough
to have a name – dry drunk syndrome. We have just
quit our addiction, similar to a bereavement for
some people. Part of us still has regrets. Do I accept
that warning signs of ‘dry drunk’ behaviour must be
given priority?

Reconnection and interaction with the right kind of
people is the main answer. Review the people you can
talk to and if you don’t have a sponsor, get to a
meeting and find one. The real danger in early
recovery is isolation. Your feelings may result from
not addressing underlying factors contributing to
addiction, such as domestic abuse. If so, professional
help may be needed. Underlying anger, grief or ego
issues may require attention. Accept and share your
feelings. We are blessed to have the Twelve Step
fellowships to listen and for that I am grateful.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 2nd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment


Enjoyment


If newcomers could see no fun in our existence,
they wouldn’t want it. We absolutely insist on
enjoying life.
AA Big Book.
Addiction makes many of us depressed, sad and
anhedonic (unable to feel pleasure). When we see
others enjoying themselves, it is so alien that our
first reaction is often to think they are pretending.
Closer inspection shows a truly carefree attitude and
soon we are wanting it ourselves. Carefree means
just that: we rid ourselves of our cares as we
progress through the Twelve Steps. Do I work the
Twelve Steps in my daily life?

Have you ever driven a car with the handbrake on,
by mistake? When you realise and release the brake,
everything suddenly feels better and easier. There’s
no smell of burning rubber, no vague feeling that
something’s wrong. That’s what it feels like when
you get into recovery. There’s more time to enjoy the
little things because you’re not having to worry
about the lies you told yesterday, the people you
insulted, the money spent. Everything will be
manageable, if I don’t drink or use. Today I thank
my Higher Power for that feeling