Tag Archives: Recovery Journey

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 21st by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – review expectations

Self-discovery

Self-discovery never throws up a final and permanent answer – our identity is an ongoing condition and what we are today will not be the same in every respect tomorrow. Addiction turns us into monsters, caricatures of our true selves, and we must face the monster before we can find our true personality. This is the first stage of our journey towards a new life of contentment. Unless we understand ourselves, we cannot make the changes that are needed. These changes must be deep and thorough, because our personality is not ‘skin deep’. In fact, like an onion, we have several layers or ‘skins’ ranging through us, from: behaviour, feelings and thoughts, attitudes, beliefs to the innermost, our core values. It is no good simply trying to change the surface (the behaviours) unless we change the rest. So, for example, stopping drinking (behaviour) won’t work unless you believe that it is the right thing to do (belief). Do I recognise the process of self-discovery?

Change would be a lot easier for most of us if we didn’t have so many preconceived ideas. Courage to change is as much about letting go of the familiar ways as about embracing the new. I must come out of my comfort zone and discard the familiar role of the victim who blames others. I will take responsibility for my life with guidance from my Higher Power.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 19th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your body

Social Media Dangers

When Bill W and Dr Bob met in 1935, there were no mobile phones or laptops. Their meeting was arranged via telephone (landline of course) but that was where technology stopped. Today, separation from one’s mobile phone causes acute anxiety for many people. There is a name for it – ‘nomophobia’. We suffer from over-exposure. Our words and actions can be projected on platforms, to be seen and judged by millions, if we wish. Bill and Dr Bob would find it amazing, and I suspect, alarming. If they could be asked their main concern at the power of social media, I think they would both say the same: Ego. Am I remembering to check my ego when on social media?


Wanting to be admired is a basic instinct. Not wanting to be vilified is another. Social media amplifies exposure to both, sometimes causing extreme emotional upheaval. There can be negative consequences such as depression, anxiety and substance abuse. Writing in 1960, Bill W said: Nothing matters more to AA’s future welfare than the manner in which we use the colossus of modern communication. Used unselfishly and well, it can produce results surpassing our present imagination. Should we handle this great instrument badly, we shall be shattered by the ego manifestations of our own people. The future has now arrived. Today I ask God for help to manage my ego.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 18th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – Close eyes briefly

AA in Ireland


The first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous in Ireland was held on this day in 1946, in Dublin. It is thought to have been the first in Europe. Ireland of course has strong links with the United States, strengthened by large numbers of migrants over the centuries. Remarkably, twenty-three US Presidents claim Irish origin. AA came to England the following year. We are fortunate that AA was originated by people who acted in the best interests of the fellowship, rather than for personal gain. They were not saints, and some had very human faults. We are no different today. We must carry forward in the same spirit, the Three Legacies of Recovery, Unity and Service. Am I grateful for the founders of AA for the Three Legacies?


Turlough O’Carolan was a well-loved itinerant minstrel, born in Westmeath, Ireland in 1670. Blind from an early age, he travelled the country with his harp. Some of his beautiful music is still played today. The story goes that he was over-fond of alcohol and that this held him back from reaching his full potential. In the cultures of most great nations there are often similar stories of gifted people who tragically were held back or sent to an early grave by their addiction. Those of us in recovery should remind ourselves of the great gift that we have been given. Our responsibility is to carry the message. Today I remember this.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 17th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body


Meaning of life


If you have a why to live, you can bear almost any how. (Nietzsche). The great philosopher seems to be saying that people will put up with a great deal, providing they believe their lives have meaning. Consider the medieval English peasant whose life was commonly a short, painful and brutish existence of hunger, work and poverty. What kept them going appears to have been a strong religious belief, that their reward would come in the next world; it gave meaning to a life of suffering. Today things are upside down – in most Western countries with welfare states in place, people no longer fear the ‘how’ so much, but they increasingly question the ‘why.’ Suicide and addiction rates are always rising. In recovery, we have a second opportunity to evaluate our existence and to re-establish priorities. Am I glad that my life in recovery has meaning and purpose, thanks to my Higher Power?

You hear people say at meetings: I was not happy in my addiction, I was desperate, alone and fearful. I wanted it to end, and I was glad when it did. But I never dreamt that one day I would feel glad to be addicted. Yet many speak like this, because addiction brings an unforeseen benefit – a grateful and humble love of life that only those who have been close to death appreciate. I give thanks today for the second chance that I have been given.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 16th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – review expectations

Humility


A healthy and happy husband came home one evening: Today, I’m ten years sober, he announced, glowing with pride, isn’t that marvellous? His wife looked up at him: So is the cat, she said. As addicted people, many of us find it difficult not to be the centre of attention. Like children, we tend to think that we are more important than anyone else, not realising that the major changes we have made are just routine, common-sense decisions to the grown-ups. Mature decision-making consists of putting our long-term needs first and refraining from activities that are clearly self-destructive. Mature people expect no congratulations for making such obviously common-sense decisions. Am I making grown-up decisions these days?

A large part of humility is ego-management – recognising when our inflated ego is getting us into trouble and rectifying the situation. For this reason, humility has been called the ‘Mother of all Virtues.’ Thus, when people see true humility, they know that they are seeing a person who truly knows themselves – a person who has mastered the difficult art of ego management. Today I ask that I show humility in all my affairs.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 15th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe slowly
Vigilance
If you know that you are being tracked by a stalker, someone you once knew, someone you once enjoyed being with, but someone who ultimately had done you great harm – what will you do? Be proactive because doing nothing is dangerous. If you are in recovery, then you are being stalked – by your addiction. Here are some strategies to use:

  • Plan each day carefully to keep yourself safe
  • Have someone to turn to for help at any time
  • Have a safe place to go to
  • Always carry a phone to sound the alarm
  • Avoid being alone
  • Join a group of people with similar experiences
  • Train yourself in self-defence
  • Learn the art of saying ‘push off’ assertively
  • Consider having counselling
    Do not underestimate the power of addiction to reclaim you. Am I being vigilant because addiction follows me?
    I must always remember that I am an addicted person, and that addiction is after me. I must always take the hunt seriously. It is not a game of hide-and-seek but a blood sport. I will need all the help that I can get. Today I ask my Higher Power that I will always remain vigilant to the threat of addiction.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 14th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment


Nothing changes if nothing changes


‘Nothing changes if nothing changes’ sounds like a great motivational mantra, but it’s actually incorrect. If nothing changes, other things often do change – they get worse. For example, if you don’t take corrective action and keep on drinking that bottle of whisky each day, you will die – sooner rather than later. What the saying really means is that if you want change, you have to make it happen. Change is not easy of course. Two things frighten us: first, the unknown factor – what will be the results of change, and will there be unforeseen consequences? Will I be able to cope with whatever arises? Second and more immediate – how to deal with people’s expectations?

Sometimes it’s just less hassle to stay with the familiar misery of demeaning work and frustrated dreams. Again, if addiction is your problem – What will your drinking buddies say if you go on the wagon and what will your loved ones expect of the new, sober and squeaky-clean you? Some people’s dreams of recovery never get past these imponderables. Do I know that change requires positive action?
We alcoholics are undisciplined. So, we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined. But this is not all. There is action and more action. Faith without works is dead. (AA Big Book). Today I will reflect on this.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 11th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your body


Sex addiction


As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from
uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed
in his bed into a monstrous insect.
Franz Kafka, Metamorphosis.
Thus begins Kafka’s best-known story. The sinister
tone of some of Kafka’s writings has led people to
wonder if the great man struggled with some form
of addiction. Could metamorphosis into a horrible
insect be some kind of metaphor for drug
dependence, they wondered. A 2008 biography by
Dr James Hawes, confirmed their speculation by
revealing that Kafka had a sex addiction. Perhaps
the ‘monstrous insect’ that he described was indeed
an actualisation of his shame and guilt. The reality
today is that ten percent of internet websites
contain pornography, and thousands struggle with
some form of sex addiction. Am I aware of the
dangers of sex addiction and cross-addiction?


Sex addiction especially impacts self-esteem and
relationships. Help is available in the Twelve Step
programme of Sex Addicts Anonymous. All
addictions are treatable with honesty, openness
and willingness to change. I will remember today
that: there, but for the grace of God, go I.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 9th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – review expectations


Witnessing

After many years of ruinously destructive addiction,
a person enters rehab and leaves clean and sober.
What happened? Change happened. What sort of
change? Change of attitudes, beliefs and
behaviours. How did change happen? Through
honesty, openness and willingness. But how was it
successful when so many fail? Through outside
help. What help? Help from a Power greater than
ourselves. Why? Because the person asked. This is
the story of thousands who follow the Twelve Steps.
Through our recovery, we bear witness to the power
of the programme and to our Higher Power. Am I
aware of my responsibility as a recovering person, to
bear witness through my behaviour and attitude to
life?

To bear witness is to be a living proof of a
significant happening. Just saying it is true is not
enough. Actions speak louder than words.
If I alone bear witness about myself, my
testimony is not deemed true. But…the very
works I am doing, bear witness about me.
The Bible, St John.
At first, our loved ones are understandably sceptical.
Today I will bear witness to my recovery.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 8th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably

Programme of Recovery

Don’t try this at home is something that presenters
of TV shows about extreme sports or DIY say, when
they are about to attempt something really difficult.
It means don’t try things when you lack adequate
resources. Such advice should be given to those
attempting to quit drugs and alcohol, not only
because withdrawal can be fraught with dangerous
fits and hallucinations. The early days clean and
sober can seem a frighteningly empty time as well. If
DIY recovery was a realistic option, more people
would do it. The fact is, we deal with something that
can kill. We need all the support we can find. Twelve
Step meetings are where we should be. Do I
recognise that I need the power of fellowship?

They recommend ninety meetings in ninety days for
good reasons: human contact, exposure to the
example of others, good advice and the formation of
good habits. It may seem a big commitment, but
how much time did I spend drinking and using?
Ninety meetings in ninety days ensures that I will
really get the message and start working the Steps. I
will feel a sense of belonging. Keeping a
commitment boosts my self-esteem. Today I will
keep whatever commitments I make.