Category Archives: Living skills

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 30th by Chris B

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Making choices

It’s a fine thing to say: Build your life around your recovery, but what does that really mean? Firstly, as with any building, the foundations must be strong: I commit to complete sobriety, personal growth, keeping sober company, attending meetings and doing service – all on a regular basis. Secondly, I commit to spiritual growth through working the Twelve Steps and maintaining a dialogue with a power greater than myself. Thirdly, I commit to carrying the message to others. With these three commitments firmly established, I can attend to other matters: family, work and other interests. Whenever I have a choice to make about the future for myself or my loved ones, will I first apply the litmus test: will this be right for my recovery?

I must keep a positive attitude to my recovery and not allow compromises or be complacent. Regular maintenance is essential. But I must also keep an open mind and not shut myself off from new ideas. The internet is an example of a new approach to unity that many fellowships have successfully embraced. Today I give thanks to God for my recovery and ask to remain open-minded to new ideas.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 29 by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe slowly

Mindfulness

It is difficult to describe how mindfulness works. Being aware of our surroundings and of our place in the world and thus our place in the universe is part of it. Opening ourselves to something we cannot see or quantify, seems to bring us a feeling of peace. Perhaps it is because our past lives have been such a chaotic mess that we welcome these precious moments. American poet William Stafford, was a conscientious objector during World War Two: Been on probation most of my life. And The rest of my life been condemned. So, these moments Count for a lot – peace, you know. William Stafford. Am I exploring the benefits of mindfulness?

Prayer should be a dialogue, not a list of requests. It is quite a turning point when our communication turns from: Please give me this to: Thy will be done. It is spiritual progress, not a sign that we have reached our destination. We will not arrive there until we breathe our last. Today, I give thanks for the new relationship that I enjoy with my Higher Power.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 28 by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body gradually

Individuality

Influences and pressures are constantly with us today and hard to ignore. Of course, we can choose to block some, such as social media, but its power, often negative, is very strong. Understanding that we are being manipulated by clever market techniques may make us think twice. We are encouraged into envy, jealousy or just plain wanting things. The packaging is so glamorous that we don’t see possible consequences – debt, pride and disappointment, for example. People are often led into gambling, shopping, pornography and other behavioural addictions by clever marketing techniques. Do I consider negative consequences from social media and other influences?

If I am watching a small screen intermittently, for hours each day, how much time do I have for my own thoughts? And how much am I worrying about the opinions of others? I am not here on earth to meet other people’s expectations; I am here to do what is right for me and ultimately right for the world. Perhaps I need to review my responses. I ask God today for the strength to assert my individuality. ……………………………………………………….

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 27 by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment

Tolerance

The wider our experience, the deeper our tolerance. At fellowship meetings we sometimes hear stories that would make great newspaper headlines if we were not bound to silence and anonymity. Yet, we listen with understanding and our response: ‘There but for the grace of God go I’, is heartfelt and entirely genuine. Tolerance should not be taken as a sign of minimising but as one of empathy and compassion. We have all done things we regret and talking about them openly is the best form of therapy. Am I ready to listen when another shares their experiences, with tolerance rather than judgement?

I used to judge people negatively because it made me feel better about myself. My self-esteem was low and I was envious of ordinary people and couldn’t see how I could ever be like them. But now I have a sense of purpose and am trying to do things right. I find that I think more positively about myself and have no need to try to bring others down to my level. I no longer need to judge others and make unfavourable comparisons, for the sake of my low self-esteem and I give thanks for that today.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 26 by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from top to toes

Action and contemplation

What we plant in the soil of contemplation, we shall reap in the harvest of action. Meister Eckhart. The fourteenth-century mystic is saying here what others have said since: that both contemplation and action are needed. It is not a case of either one or the other, but both together. As Pope Gregory the Great wrote, hundreds of years before Eckhart, activity and thought are like two eyes that work together to produce eyesight. The debate on whether to be or to do, continues today – whether to be Mary or Martha. Do I understand the benefits of both action and contemplation?

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and all your mind and love your neighbour as yourself. St Luke. In loving God, I engage in contemplation and in loving my neighbour, I engage in positive action. Both are a form of connection, fundamental when dealing with the disease of addiction, which is basically, an attachment disorder. I ask for the wisdom to take positive action, when I need

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 25 by Chris B

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Nicotine

It’s not so very long ago that the majority of people smoked tobacco wherever and whenever they wanted. Successful government campaigns changed attitudes and behaviours. Smoking is an addiction with health consequences that are as serious as many other drugs. It is not wise for anyone to develop a dependence on any addictive behaviour and cross addiction means that one addiction can lead to another. Smoking tobacco can easily lead to smoking other substances such as marijuana. A lot of people find that smoking tobacco and alcohol goes well together. Am I aware of the dangers of cross-addiction?

Any kind of dependence can limit my ability to grow and mature as an adult person. Dependence makes me selfish, fearful and avoidant of responsibility. I used to think that I was an independent person when in fact I was the opposite. It was only when I faced reality and asked for help that I started to become truly mature and independent. Today I give thanks to the fellowships for the help to grow and become mature.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 24th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

Managing cravings

The psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross was an expert on the process of dying and much respected for her ‘death with dignity’ approach. She formulated the Five Stages of Grief that people facing death or bereavement experience: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. When addicted people quit their habit, they often go through a bereavement process similar to this, where these five stages may be identified. Such a process is likely to be emotional and arduous. Some people never lose the desire for their substance or behaviour of choice. Bill W, co-founder of AA, had cravings for alcohol until the end of his life. That is neither reprehensible nor surprising. Do I recognise the power of addiction and not judge others?

Recovery from addiction is management of an ongoing illness. Recovery is not a cure. My addiction, although in remission, may send craving messages to my brain for years. There is nothing surprising in this. I just deny such requests in a forceful manner and move on. The voice in my head grows weaker but it may never go entirely. I ask God to always help me deny cravings.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 23rd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably

Compassion, not judgement

If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell? No, said the missionary, not if you did not know. Then why, asked the tribesman earnestly, did you tell me? T his familiar story illustrates the idea that ‘ignorance is bliss.’. People in denial from addiction sometimes react like this when they find themselves in rehab. They realise they have lost their innocent attitude towards addiction and will henceforward always feel guilty. Basically, they are not yet ready to quit. Everyone deals with their problems in their own way and in their own time. We should not judge people for not acting in the way we would like. Am I able not to judge others but instead, to show compassion?

Shame and guilt play a big part in my personality. But in recovery, they will hold me back. Of course, I feel ashamed of my past, and even my belief that I am a good but sick person who has done regrettable things, does not lift the burden. However, Steps Eight and Nine provide a way of dealing with this. I must act to complete these steps thoroughly and over time, as I work through my list of amends, I will feel the burden become lighter. Today I ask for insight into my past behaviour.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 22nd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe slowly

No compromises

Contrary to popular belief, crocodiles do not make good pets. Internet. You do not compromise with a crocodile, and you do not welcome it, or any potential killer, into your home. The same is true of addiction. Looking at the attractive label on a bottle of fine wine, it is hard to accept its lethal side. Yet alcoholrelated deaths run into thousands each year. Recovery from any addiction is not a process of negotiation, there are no grey areas, no wiggle room, the only approach is zero tolerance. Otherwise, we might as well follow the lead of numerous people, some quite well known, which is essentially: Find what you love and let it kill you. Do I understand that there is no compromise with addiction of any kind?

T he world seems to expect compromises in almost every area including truth, kindness, gratitude and actions. But I can be different. As I grow in experience and maturity, I understand that I do not have to go along with the crowd. Instead, I have learned to follow my conscience. When I have difficult choices to make, I will ask my Higher Power for help. Integrity is about doing what you believe is right: If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming you. Kipling. I ask God for the strength not to compromise on matters concerning my addiction.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 21st by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from top to toes

Maintenance

Maintenance can be done at any time, but it must happen. Sometimes if you’re really busy you might forget to check your car – tyres, oil, lights and so forth. If you let things slide too much, the car becomes a problem. Eventually it may become downright dangerous. The analogy with addiction recovery is obvious. Maintenance can seem a bit of a chore sometimes, but it helps to view it positively. It is time spent helping us to continue enjoying the wellbeing and contentment that we already have, not a struggle to save us from relapsing. Taking a few moments to ensure we are spreading the message, doing service, making amends and taking personal inventory are all that is required, so we are in the best possible shape to continue our journey. Am I making time for regular maintenance checks?

Maintenance is not something exclusive to recovery and to motor cars. Other things requiring maintenance include physical health, friendships and beliefs. Little and often is the key to smooth running because you never know what challenges there may be around the corner. The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. John F Kennedy. I know that my recovery plan must include the commitment to keep it in good repair.