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Remember Mindfulness – breathe slowly

Wholehearted response

You didn’t deal the cards, but you get to play the hand.
In other words, it’s the response that matters. Life
is not fair and the sooner we appreciate that fact,
the better. It is up to us how we respond. Addiction
means that most of us could have done better, but
so it goes. In recovery, we can choose again because
miraculously, we have been given a second chance.
And even better, we have been given an instruction
manual on how to play those cards – the Twelve
Steps. If you were playing real cards in a real
competition and you had a manual that would help
you to win, you would follow it to the letter. Do I
follow the spiritual principles of the Twelve Steps
in all my affairs?

If I am following to the best of my ability a
programme that puts a high value on love, honesty
and humility – a programme of personal
responsibility too, then am I not on the right road
to spiritual growth? The only way that I can fail is
through not approaching it wholeheartedly. Today
I give thanks to God for this second chance at life.

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body gradually

An example to others

In the movie Trainspotting young Mark Renton and
some of his friends struggle with heroin addiction.
They keep relapsing, despite efforts to quit. That is
the reality for many people. The story is shown in
an entertaining way, but it reinforces the stigma
attached to drug and alcohol addiction. Other
movies, such as Rocket Man, or 28 Days are more
uplifting, because they show successful recovery. Art
influences public opinion, but so does the example
of real people. Any artistic production should be
welcomed, but as recovering people, we have a
responsibility to demonstrate the triumph over
addiction that we represent, because in that way,
we reduce the stigma. Thus, we help our fellow
comrades to gain the help and support they need.
Am I ready to show by my example that the dark
face of addiction can produce positive results?

As a recovering person, I am concerned to be an
example of recovery, in which we become ‘better
than well.’ I earnestly wish that when people see
recovery, they will become more inclined to help
those still struggling with addiction.’ Today I will
try to be an example of recovery.

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

Giving service

You only miss the water when the well runs dry is an
old way of saying ‘take nothing for granted’. What
would happen if your local fellowship meeting
closed? Would you look for one further away, would
you use the internet? How much would you miss
face to face contact with other recovering people?
Supposing your sponsor fell ill, and you had to find
another, but none was available?

Voluntary
organisations and self-help groups are as strong
and as successful as their members. If we don’t
volunteer for service, how can we expect others to
give the service that we benefit from? Service is one of
the three legacies of AA for a very good reason. Our
survival depends upon it. Do I take the benefits of the
fellowships for granted or am I willing to give
service as a necessary part of my recovery?
Asking and giving is part of decent human
behaviour, if we wish to live as brothers and sisters
rather than enemies. Some people will always try to
beat the system – that is another human trait, but
we must act honestly. Today I ask for guidance i n
g i v i n g s e r v i c e as a part of spiritual growth.

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment

Boundaries

We cannot live in isolation. How we interact with
people affects how we see ourselves, our self-esteem
and our sense of belonging. We depend on
others, and they depend on us, but we need to set
boundaries and to hold people accountable when they
overstep. If we don’t, we become people-pleasers.
That not only damages our self-esteem but also
makes it impossible for us to establish meaningful
relationships because we are always having to
compromise. This leaves us feeling deeply
unsatisfied. Am I setting appropriate boundaries?

If I say ‘no’ to the unreasonable demands or
expectations of others, I am not being unkind, I am
simply asserting my right as a person to meet my
own needs. If I do not do this, I will feel powerless
and frustrated. I will even become resentful towards
the other person whereas in truth, the fault is mine.
Assertiveness can be learnt – the act of saying ‘no’
without causing unnecessary offence, can be
acquired through practice. Today I will review my
boundaries and ask for help where I need to act.

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from top to toes

Step Eight

Step Eight deals with the first part of the process of
making amends. This can be the most challenging
Step of all for some people. Nobody likes looking
over their past mistakes – the dishonesty, stupidity
and coercion that probably went with them is not
nice. Writing a list forces us to confront our actions,
and we must be completely honest. If we minimise
or omit the most painful bits, we will not feel
satisfaction. We addressed these issues in Steps
Four and Five already, and that was a vital exercise
in self-discovery. Now, for the first time, we have to
Step outside ourselves and see the reality of our
behaviour – the pain we caused to others.
Becoming willing to make amends opens up the
prospect of a lot of difficult conversations, and
perhaps some highly negative reactions. But we must
be steadfast. Am I willing to make amends?

I approach Step Eight with trepidation, and rightly so.
It is a real opportunity to grow my recovery and I
must get it right. I must humbly ask my Higher
Power for guidance. I do not have to deal with it all
at once. The important thing is to become willing.

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body gradually

Resentments

Holding on to our resentments is a familiar trait of
many addicted people. It is a burden that we do not
need to carry. Yet, we are so used to negativity that we
prefer to play the victim, blame others and stay in our
state of self-pity and anger, rather than do something
about it. Resentments can make us feel superior, even
powerful but in reality, we give power to the person we
resent – power to spoil our peace of mind. It will
eventually isolate us from family, and friends. Am I
aware of the dangers of holding on to resentments?

Resentment is the Number One offender. It
destroys more alcoholics than anything
else. From it stem all forms of spiritual
disease. AA Big Book.
Whatever the facts of the case, it is my response that
matters. When I forgive somebody for a perceived
harm, I help myself to get better. It is self-care and
a sign of maturity. To say a prayer for the person
whom I resent can be helpful. I will do so. I ask God
today to guide me in dealing with resentments and
forgiving those who may have harmed me.

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably

Choices

We make choices every day, some small, some big.
Life can be seen as just a series of choices. It is thus
important that we learn how to choose correctly.
Addicted people often choose only to meet their
immediate wants – perhaps a pill or a drink. In that
way, they are seeking instant relief, as children
want their immediate needs to be met. But children
learn gradually to make responsible choices –
through the example of others, and by trial and
error. Unfortunately, addiction means we don’t
learn this way and the results are obvious. Recovery
is about making grown-up choices. Am I learning
to make the right choices?

People only make changes when they understand
the need. If for example, I want to change my
outbursts of anger, I must first understand why
they happen, what makes me behave like that.
Practising self-awareness and honesty leads me to
discover the things in me that I need to change.
Today I will reflect on the process of making choices
and ask God for wisdom to make the right ones