Category Archives: Living skills

Daily Reading from Recovery Days June 18th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body

Pride

When Alexander the Great visited the Delphic Oracle in 336 BC, he hoped to be told that he would conquer the world. Instead, he received the equivocal message that he would be ‘invincible’. This turned out to be true because despite military success, he was unable to conquer himself and died aged only thirty-two; the suspected cause of death was alcohol poisoning. The Oracle might have added two other bits of jargon they commonly used: ‘Know thyself’ and ‘Nothing in excess.’ Alexander was one in a long line of very gifted men and women whose lives were blighted by their inability to overcome addiction. Do I understand the need to make recovery my priority above everything else?

I must build my life round my recovery. When things go well, our ego makes us minimise the dangers of relapse. Victorious Roman generals returning in triumph from war had to be accompanied by a slave who whispered ‘memento mori’ (remember you are mortal). The Twelve Steps give us the same message. We ignore it at our peril. Today I ask to remember that pride can cause relapse.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days June 17th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

Kindness

Kindness and compassion are important factors for people with addiction problems. The word ‘kindness’ originates from the old English word ‘kin’ for ‘family’ and ‘connection’. Showing kindness to another is sharing their trouble and pain, as we would do in any relationship we care about. Kindness is consideration and respect, not only to others but to ourselves. Am I ready today to show kindness to anyone that I see in need?

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. The Dalai Lama.

Kindness is what binds a healthy society together. It should never be given selectively; it should be shared amongst everyone. I cannot expect to receive kindness from strangers if I am not prepared to show kindness myself. When I work the Steps and have some experience of sober living, it is then my responsibility to extend the hand of friendship and kindness to others. That is what is meant by Step Twelve. Today I ask to be ready to extend the hand of friendship and kindness to anyone in need.

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Daily Reading from Recovery Days June16th by Chris B

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JUNE 16             

Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment

Temptation

Book lovers celebrate this day as Bloomsday, in honour of James Joyce’s wonderful book Ulysses which chronicles the ‘voyage’ of Leopold Bloom around Dublin, on this day in 1904. The book is structured like Homer’s Odyssey, written around three thousand years earlier. Homer’s hero, Ulysses encounters challenges and temptations such as the Lotus Eaters and the Sirens, which are sometimes seen as a metaphor for addiction. To avoid the Sirens’ seductive call (which leads to death) Ulysses has himself tied to the mast of his ship so that he cannot respond; his forward thinking allows him to be exposed to temptation but still be kept safe. Have I put measures in place to keep me safe from the Siren call of addiction?

Addicted people, especially in early recovery, are often encouraged to think like Ulysses, which means having a pre-arranged plan for dealing with cravings and events which trigger addictive behaviour. Such a plan might include carrying the phone number of a fellowship member and erasing contact details of dealers. Today I ask to be alert to the Siren call of addiction that may sound any time.

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Daily Reading June15th from Recovery Days by Chris B

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JUNE 15               

Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts

Better than well

One way of getting ‘better than well’ is simply to do your best in everything you try. Then,you will go to sleep each night with peace of mind. Whatever your view creation and your place in the world, it seems implausible that we are here just to sit around in a half-hearted way. You may or may not expect a day of divine judgement to come, but for the sake of your own self-respect it is surely better to try your best in all your daily tasks. By doing so, you give yourself the opportunity to get the most out of everything – your health, intellect, spiritual life, relationships and work. ‘The more you put in, the more you get out’ is one of those self-evident truths that should immediately spur us into action. Am I ready to do my best in all my affairs?

Other well-tried ways of becoming ‘better than well’ include connecting, exercising, learning, getting involved and giving. All can be found in a Twelve Step programme. Today I ask to do my best in all my affairs.

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Daily Reading from Recovery Days June 14th by Chris B

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JUNE 14             Remember Mindfulness – review expectations

Behavioural addiction

Gambling, gaming, shopping, pornography and workaholism are examples of behavioural addictions that are on the increase. A few years ago, these activities would have been mostly performed in public. Today, thanks to the home computer and the mobile phone they are largely unobserved, mostly happening ‘behind lace curtains’. There is a danger for people in recovery that one addiction can replace another or lead a person back to their original addiction because activities are linked; gambling and drinking is one example of this. Am I aware of the dangers of cross addiction and the need to stop all addictive behaviour?

Addiction never gives up. Complacency leads to disaster. The alcoholic who thinks that an occasional joint won’t matter, or a gambler who sees no problem with a few drinks, are both playing with fire. I cannot fully embrace a new life of sobriety if I am still experiencing the escapism of even a small amount of addictive behaviour. Today I give thanks for my sobriety but remind myself of the dangers in any kind of addictive behaviour.

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Daily Reading from Recovery Days June 13th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly


Listening


If we really listen, we inform ourselves. Too often,
we rely on assumptions instead. The trouble with
that is that we then believe they are the truth. Soon
we have created a whole mountain of problems for
ourselves. If we had simply listened and asked
questions, we could have avoided most of the
problems. We make assumptions usually because
we are too afraid or too lazy to ask questions.
Choosing the softer, easier way can become a habit.
Am I willing to stop making assumptions and to ask
questions instead?


When I ask questions, I receive answers that
increase my understanding, and I may also help
others learn at the same time. That doesn’t happen
when I make assumptions instead. If my goal is
spiritual growth, then questions will help me to
achieve this a lot quicker than assumptions. Today,
I ask God for the wisdom to ask questions and not
make assumptions.


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Daily Reading from Recovery Days June 12th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body gradually


Humour


American writer Kurt Vonnegut said that we should
stop being so serious: Jokes help a lot. And get a dog,
if you don’t already have one. Vonnegut certainly
knew a thing or two about recovery from difficult
situations – he survived the Dresden fire-bombing
during WWII because he was locked up as a
prisoner inside an insulated slaughterhouse. As a
professed ‘Christ-loving atheist’, his view of life was
to help each other as much as possible. Can I keep an
open mind and not take myself too seriously?


There is not much to laugh about in the aftermath of
addiction, but in our grimmest moments we
sometimes turn to dark comedy, because horror
and humour are often two sides of the same coin. It
is a bizarre experience to recount one’s appalling
secrets to AA members who react with a nod of
empathy instead of a shriek of dismay. But how else
should we react to life’s great challenges? Absurdist
philosopher Albert Camus’ response was said to be:
Should I kill myself or have a cup of coffee? I’ll settle
for the coffee. Today I will take recovery seriously,
but not overlook humour.


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Daily Reading from Recovery Days June 11th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment


Head to heart


Addiction professionals talk about the eighteeninch
journey, from head to heart. What we think and
what we feel can be very different but the more the
two can be connected, the more we will be in
balance. Some of us know from personal experience
that intellectual understanding of an event and its
consequences is often not sufficient to convince us
to do otherwise. That is true of addiction. Because
our emotions are so powerful, it takes more than
logical argument to persuade us to do what we are
too afraid, too arrogant or too ashamed to attempt.
Will I make the eighteen-inch journey?


When the great seventeenth century thinker Blaise
Pascal said: The heart has its reasons, which reason
knows nothing of, he meant that the heart can
sometimes stop us doing what seems intellectually,
right or equally, do things that seem logically
wrong. Today I ask for the wisdom to make the
eighteen-inch journey in order to keep my head and
my heart in balance.


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Daily Reading from Recovery Days June 10th by Chris B

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Step Six


Step Six is part of removing what doesn’t work for
us, to make room for new attitudes and ideas. It
follows on from Steps Four and Five where we
identify the defects we need to get rid of. It may all
sound quite neat but in reality, we are often reluctant
to remove bad habits. The softer, easier way may
not have worked but ‘softer and easier’ was a
comfort zone – it was a coping mechanism, albeit
a maladaptive one. We turn to our Higher Power at
this important moment because there must be no
compromises and we need guidance. Am I entirely
ready to go through with Step Six?


The French writer and critic Charles du Bos said:
The important thing is this: to be able, at any
moment, to sacrifice what we are for what we could
become. His use of the word ‘sacrifice’ is important
here, because it recognises how difficult it can be to
give up our old ways. To use another phrase that
du Bos would have recognised: ‘nostalgie de la
boue’ (the attraction of degradation) is hard to
remove. It is a process that may take time, but it will
be time well spent – another new experience for
some of us. Today I ask God for guidance as I work
to remove all my shortcomings.


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Daily Reading from Recovery Days June 9th by Chris B

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Fake it to make it


Despite being anonymous, they all seemed
to understand and like each other very well.
That was my first impression of an AA
meeting. So, I kept going to meetings
because, I knew I had to. There were no
other options. Sometimes I was glad to go,
sometimes I pretended to be glad. An oldtimer said: ‘fake it to make it’. Perhaps I
was doing that. In any case, a miracle was
happening because I was not drinking. I
thought that I had better keep on doing
the same thing, because it worked. I still
regularly go to that meeting. It has saved
my life. Anon.
Am I committed to attending meetings because I
know that I cannot be complacent about my
disease of addiction?


I do not need to understand the reasons why
something works before I do it. Just the fact that it
does work should be enough. I will apply the same
principle to the Twelve Step fellowships. I am
content to follow them and keep it simple. Today I
give thanks for the simple gifts that I have received

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