Category Archives: Living skills

Daily Reading from Recovery Days March 30th by Chris B

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* March 30 *

Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts

Contentment

People talk about contentment in recovery happening in stages – at first sobriety can be a confusing time when we don’t quite know what’s happening but at least we’re sober; then our mind and body grow fitter, but we are still a bit anxious; then after several months we relax, feel the power, and start to enjoy our new life. Healthcare professionals talk of five elements needed for true wellbeing:

  • Make connections
  • Take action
  • Take notice
  • Keep learning
  • Give.

It is easy to see that a Twelve Step programme would meet all these requirements. Do I fully understand the path to feeling better than well?

All five of the elements mentioned above require effort. They will not just happen unless we do something. A lot of us had been so trapped in our role of helpless victim that we are not good at taking action. But nothing changes if nothing changes, as they say in AA. We must ask for help. Today I give thanks to God for leading me to a contented recovery.

Today I Will………………………………………………………

Daily Reading from Recovery Days March 29th by Chris B

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* March 29 *

Remember Mindfulness – review expectations

The Power to be myself

Why would you want to be something you are not, when you could be better, just by being yourself? Being yourself is a continuous effort. There is always another expectation placed upon you, another person pulling you toward their preferences, another nudge from society to act a certain way. It’s a daily battle to be yourself rather than what the world wants you to be. Such a fundamental issue as this – the way that we see ourselves, requires constant attention especially for those in recovery from addiction. But if we succeed, our self-esteem will rise accordingly. Can I be myself?

Remember the pressures that are put upon us – be who you are, be true to yourself. I very much like the Gestalt Prayer by psychologist Fritz Perls:

I do my thing

And you do your thing.

I am not in this world

To live up to your expectations

And you are not in this world

To live up to mine.

You are you and I am I.

And if by chance

We find each other, it’s beautiful,

If not, it can’t be helped.

Today I give thanks for my individuality

Daily Reading from Recovery Days March 28th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe deeply

Happiness in recovery

Man hands on misery to man are the famous words of poet Philip Larkin. If man could just learn to hand on happiness instead, how much pleasanter everything would be. We should not think it impossible. Some people do just that. They are the people for whom, when someone mentions their name, everybody smiles because they subconsciously remember something nice about them. Such people are a true example of a life well lived and what they pass on is indeed happiness. It says a lot about the state of the world that so many of us need to learn how to find happiness because our default state seems to be quiet desperation. But that should not stop us for seeking. Do I consider happiness a reasonable aspiration, the legitimate result of a life well lived?

Happiness is not a goal in itself but is the by-product of actions and attitudes that are spiritually and morally valid. The Big Book tells us that, if we are prepared to live according to spiritual principles and apply ourselves painstakingly to the programme, then we will know a new freedom and a new happiness. What is more, we can see this for ourselves in the faces of our friends in recovery and in the faces of loved ones. Today I ask God for patience to wait for the gift of happiness.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days March 27th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

Gratitude

Many of us have experienced a life in addiction where nothing seemed to make sense, nothing could be predicted, and nothing trusted. The world did not suddenly fall into place when we sobered up but at least we became more sensible, predictable, and trustworthy. Soon we realised that we did have two things that we could absolutely depend upon – a Higher Power and the Twelve Step fellowships. In fact, they were both a part of the same thing because they provided us with the support we needed. Anyone reading the Twelve Steps will see how interconnected they are. In a world where only a minority of people live in a conventional family and large numbers rely on medication of some kind just to be able to function, we in recovery can count ourselves among the fortunate few. Am I sufficiently grateful for Twelve Step recovery in my life?

To addicted people, recovery is all about beating addiction, but we should be mindful of the large numbers of dedicated people working in general healthcare who cheerfully shoulder the huge daily responsibility of caring for the sick, regardless of the often-severe cost to themselves. Today I give thanks for all who unselfishly work and care for others in the healing professions.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days March 26th by Chris B

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March 26th

Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably

Fellowship

Groups of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other, in order to solve a common problem, are found in many settings other than Twelve Step fellowships. People naturally depend on each other and learn from each other. Dependence and learning are two-way activities – there is a giver for every dependent and a teacher for every learner. That is how a fellowship works and that is why the idea of service is important.

Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. St Paul, Corinthians.

Do I fully understand that fellowship means a giving and a taking in equal measures?

It is not by chance that the Twelve Steps begin with the word ‘we’. Most addicted people, including presumably those who wrote the Steps, were well aware of their egotism and self-obsession that can so easily prevent them from fully engaging in the programme. Yet, in another of those strange paradoxes, nobody else can work the programme for us – we must do it ourselves. Today I thank God for the gift of the Twelve Step fellowships.

Daily Reading March 22nd from Recovery Days by Chris B

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* March 22 *

Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

Unknown God

When St Paul visited Athens in AD 51, he was shocked to see that they had a temple dedicated to an ‘Unknown God’. This led him to berate the Athenians for their ignorance in one of his most famous sermons. The Athenians are said to have laughed. AA and the other Twelve Step fellowships have an unknown God too – Higher Power. They do not seek to define its nature precisely; they are glad simply to recognise the power itself. Probably, the Athenians felt the same way. The AA preamble, read before every meeting, states that: AA neither endorses nor opposes any causes. There are no dogmas or compulsions, we are free to believe what we wish. Am I grateful for the non-directive simplicity of the Twelve Step fellowships?

We have found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek him. To us, the realm of spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive, never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all men. (Bill W). Today I give thanks that I belong to a fellowship that does not exclude or forbid the beliefs of any person who seeks help.

Today I Will……………………………………………………

Daily Reading March 21st from Recovery Days by Chris B

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Daily Thoughts for Living in Recovery

* March 21 *

Remember Mindfulness – breathe deeply

Truth

To thine own self be true. (Hamlet). Shakespeare’s famous words can sound like an easy ride to some but an impossibility to others. And how many addicted people can look themselves in the mirror after a heavy binge and think that they have followed that advice? Self-deception, dangerous living and over-indulgence to the point of near-terminal poisoning of the system are not what the Bard had in mind. When we look at our past behaviour in the sober light of recovery, the words of a different play spring to mind:

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. (Macbeth).

Can I recall the reality of my addicted past as a deterrent to ever repeating it?The past cannot be changed and dwelling on the past can have a negative effect on our wellbeing. Nevertheless, former misdeeds recalled in sobriety, can be a useful weapon against the threat of relapse. Today I will work to make the best use out of whatever resources I have within me.

Today I Will………..………………………………………….

Daily Readings by Chris B from Recovery Days

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Daily Thoughts on Living in Recovery

* March 19 *

Remember Mindfulness – review expectations

Responsibility for change

Newcomers to Twelve Step fellowships are often advised to stop focusing on why they are addicted and instead think on what they can do about it. Discovering a reason for your addiction might seem like a way of resolving a problem easily, but in truth there may be no reason, except that you’re an addicted person. Seeking a reason may well be a device to avoid the pain of having to make some life-changing decisions. Far better to focus on positive action and take responsibility for change. Am I prepared to face the reality of my addiction and take responsibility for change?

When we embark upon a searching and fearless personal inventory at Step Four, it may help us to reflect that a life of total dedication to the truth is a reasonable aspiration for anyone. It is likely to result in true peace of mind, but it will not be easy. It does require continuous self-appraisal as recommended in Step Ten. Yet the feeling of relief when we have completed Steps Four and Five will be enormous. Today I ask for the strength to be fearless and thorough in taking personal inventory.

Today I Will…………………………..……………………….

Daily Readings by Chris B from Recovery Days

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* March 18 *

Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts

Response to challenge

Life is not easy. For a lot of people, it is just one challenge after another. Yet many seem to expect it to be smooth going and complain when it is not. Others try to avoid the challenges and seek the softer easier way, but life usually finds them out in the end. Some become addicted. We have all seen people who seem to stroll through life without difficulty as if possessed with magic powers. In fact, they are people who have a clear vision of the world and what they need to do about living in it with peace of mind. They have taken the necessary action. Simple in concept but hard to achieve without rigorous honesty, determination and high principles. Can I reject the softer, easier way?

People who truly live life well are always respected. They trigger in us a desire to be like them because we have a longing to live a good life and to do what is right. We may forget words, but we remember how people make us feel. That is why the power of example matters. Today I ask God that I may pursue with determination my desire to live my life in the very best way that I can.

Today I Will……………………………………………………