Tag Archives: Recovery

Daily Reading from Recovery Days December 5th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts

Secrets

Secrets keep us sick. Shame prevents us sharing some of our darkest secrets, yet these are a part of who we are. I see my relationship with my Higher Power as a partnership, albeit an unequal one. I believe that this power works through other people, but how can I have a true partnership when I am withholding secrets? Secrets are part of the wall I constructed to keep people out – the wall that isolated me from human contact. As long as I have secrets, I have shame, and with shame comes low self-esteem and fear. It is no good trying to bury my secrets in the past and hoping they will just fade away. The past has happened, but it is still there in memories, to be visited as we wish. Have I dealt with the secrets of my past?


Secrets, and the shame that surrounds them, can hold me back in recovery because my instincts will tell me: don’t talk, don’t feel, don’t trust. Yet the Twelve Step fellowships are full of people who are able to listen and relate to my pain, because they have been though similar experiences. ‘Trust and Share’ is a well-known slogan that refers directly back to the Serenity Prayer. Today I ask for the courage to change the things I can, so that I release

Daily Reading from Recovery Days by Chris B November 30th on Keeping Up

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly


Steps Ten to Twelve


The last three Steps are about ‘keeping up’, in other words maintaining sobriety in recovery through the Twelve Steps and attending the support groups most relevant to your addiction such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous. You already know how much work it took to achieve a lasting sobriety and now you need to put in that little bit more, on a regular basis, to make sure that you keep what you’ve got. Addiction may have left your body, but it hasn’t left your mind, not completely. Never forget that it will quickly return if given a chance. The best way to ‘keep up’ is to go to meetings regularly and remind ourselves how lucky we are to have the gift of recovery. Just saying the Serenity Prayer daily and meditating on its true meaning will keep us in the right frame of mind and keep our egos under control. Am I making ‘keeping up’ a simple daily habit?


At the first AA meeting I ever attended, somebody said to me: You’ll need to keep coming to these meetings the rest of your life. I thought, or my ego thought, I don’t think so. But I am still going, and, like all my healthy habits, I enjoy doing it. When I hear a person share their experience, strength and hope I think: Yes, me too, and that sense of belonging, of being in the right place, returns. For that I am grateful.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 11th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your body


Sex addiction


As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from
uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed
in his bed into a monstrous insect.
Franz Kafka, Metamorphosis.
Thus begins Kafka’s best-known story. The sinister
tone of some of Kafka’s writings has led people to
wonder if the great man struggled with some form
of addiction. Could metamorphosis into a horrible
insect be some kind of metaphor for drug
dependence, they wondered. A 2008 biography by
Dr James Hawes, confirmed their speculation by
revealing that Kafka had a sex addiction. Perhaps
the ‘monstrous insect’ that he described was indeed
an actualisation of his shame and guilt. The reality
today is that ten percent of internet websites
contain pornography, and thousands struggle with
some form of sex addiction. Am I aware of the
dangers of sex addiction and cross-addiction?


Sex addiction especially impacts self-esteem and
relationships. Help is available in the Twelve Step
programme of Sex Addicts Anonymous. All
addictions are treatable with honesty, openness
and willingness to change. I will remember today
that: there, but for the grace of God, go I.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days October 27th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably


Risk


Addiction is a loaded gun and Russian roulette is a
dangerous pastime but addicted people play that
game most days. How many of us really knew the
strength of the powders and weeds we consumed?
Were we sure our bodies were free of alcohol before
we drove? Around one hundred thousand people are
convicted of drink-driving in the UK each year.
Have I finished playing Russian roulette with my
life and the lives of others?


In addiction, we’re all risk takers and sobriety can
seem like a joyless alternative at first. How wrong
that is. There are so many things that I never tried or
was too mentally numb to bother about when I was
using. I can now try new experiences and see which
ones I like:
All experience is an arch wherethrough
Gleams that untraveled world whose margin fades
Forever and forever when I move.
Alfred Lord Tennyson.
Today I ask not to fear trying new things.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days October 1st by Chris B

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Self-discipline

Willpower alone is not likely to keep us sober for
long, but a bit of self-denial and unselfishness will be
helpful. Addiction makes us think only of ourselves
and it will do us good to start thinking of others for a
change. We may need to learn self- control, starting
with the little things, like not having that extra biscuit.
It will help our self-esteem to realise that we are
making mature decisions with good long-term
results. Am I learning to make the right choices?

Self-control is a practical technique that can help us
respond appropriately to temptation and overindulgence.
When we are dealing with spiritual
matters, we would be wrong to rely on our own
resources for the right response. It is much better to
allow ourselves to be guided by our Higher Power.
This is true when we are learning to deal with other
people as well. For most of us, handling
relationships in a good way is the most difficult
challenge that we face. Repairing damaged
relationships can bring challenges that we may feel
unable to manage, unless we can hand them over to
our Higher Power. Today I ask for wisdom and self-control
as I learn to handle relationships.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days September 2nd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from top to toes


Adult choices

Personal responsibility is about making the right
choices for the right reasons. It is something that
many people learn naturally through their childhood
and teenage years but which some of us failed to do,
because our addiction got in the way. Children are
naturally driven to seek the most attractive,
pleasurable thing and they learn by trial and error
that, for the sake of their long-term good, a less
attractive option is a better choice. Addicted people
begin sobriety like children in this respect. Instant
gratification is the goal of both. But grown-ups know
better. Have I the maturity to choose wisely between
what I want and what I really need?

Be careful what you wish for. If I become rich, the
attitudes of many towards me will change – some will
be jealous, some contemptuous, some will plot to
steal from me. If I want power or fame, the same sort
of thing will happen. So much unhappiness in the
world is caused by people wanting things they don’t
really need, while ignoring the things they do need,
such as love and peace of mind. Today I

Daily Reading from Recovery Days August 24th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body gradually


Resentments

Holding on to our resentments is a familiar trait of
many addicted people. It is a burden that we do not
need to carry. Yet, we are so used to negativity that
we prefer to play the victim, blame others and stay in
our state of self-pity and anger, rather than do
something about it. Resentments can make us feel
superior, even powerful but in reality, we give power
to the person we resent – power to spoil our peace of
mind. It will eventually isolate us from family, and
friends. Am I aware of the dangers of holding on to
resentments?


Resentment is the Number One offender. It
destroys more alcoholics than anything
else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease.
AA Big Book.
Whatever the facts of the case, it is my response that
matters. When I forgive somebody for a perceived
harm, I help myself to get better. It is self-care and a
sign of maturity. To say a prayer for the person
whom I resent can be helpful. I will do so. I ask God
today to guide me in dealing with resentments and
forgiving those who may have harmed me.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days August 8th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe slowly

Knowing reality

When we question things – advice, instructions or
just the behaviour of another person, we are
reacting in a human way. Other animals do not
normally question situations, although young
animals show curiosity in their early years. Human
ability to doubt and question may have helped our
survival as a species (why is the long grass moving?
Because there’s a lion hiding there). Strangely,
humans are also unique in having dreams and
fantasies that can influence their attitudes and
actions. So, on the one hand we can fantasise
ourselves into unreality and on the other, we check
ourselves by questioning. It is important to
recognise these two influences on our behaviour.
Am I aware of my capacity to distort reality?

Balance is everything. By daily meditation, I can
learn the habit of self-awareness. If I have internal
conflict, it is usually because I want something, or I
resist something that my conscience is telling me to
do. If I learn to see things honestly, I can take action
to restore balance. Today I thank God that I can
dream and also question my dreams.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 28th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body gradually

Individuality


Influences and pressures are constantly with us
today and hard to ignore. Of course, we can choose
to block some, such as social media, but its power,
often negative, is very strong. Understanding that we
are being manipulated by clever market techniques
may make us think twice. We are encouraged
into envy, jealousy or just plain wanting things.
The packaging is so glamorous that we don’t
see possible consequences – debt, pride
and disappointment, for example. People are
often led into gambling, shopping, pornography
and other behavioural addictions by clever
marketing techniques. Do I consider negative
consequences from social media and other
influences?

If I am watching a small screen intermittently,
for hours each day, how much time do I have for my
own thoughts? And how much am I worrying about
the opinions of others? I am not here on earth to
meet other people’s expectations. I am here to do
what is right for me and ultimately right for
the world. Perhaps I need to review my
responses. I ask God today for the strength to
assert my individuality.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 27th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment

Tolerance

The wider our experience, the deeper our tolerance.
At fellowship meetings we sometimes hear stories
that would make great newspaper headlines if we
were not bound to silence and anonymity. Yet, we
listen with understanding and our response: ‘There
but for the grace of God go I’, is heartfelt and
entirely genuine. Tolerance should not be taken as a
sign of minimising but as one of empathy and
compassion. We have all done things we regret and
talking about them openly is the best form of
therapy. Am I ready to listen when another shares
their experiences, with tolerance rather than
judgement?

I used to judge people negatively because it made
me feel better about myself. My self-esteem was low
and I was envious of ordinary people and couldn’t
see how I could ever be like them. But now I have a
sense of purpose and am trying to do things right. I
find that I think more positively about myself and
have no need to try to bring others down to my level.
I no longer need to judge others and make
unfavourable comparisons, for the sake of my low
self-esteem and I give thanks for that today.