Tag Archives: Fellowship

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 8th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably

Programme of Recovery

Don’t try this at home is something that presenters
of TV shows about extreme sports or DIY say, when
they are about to attempt something really difficult.
It means don’t try things when you lack adequate
resources. Such advice should be given to those
attempting to quit drugs and alcohol, not only
because withdrawal can be fraught with dangerous
fits and hallucinations. The early days clean and
sober can seem a frighteningly empty time as well. If
DIY recovery was a realistic option, more people
would do it. The fact is, we deal with something that
can kill. We need all the support we can find. Twelve
Step meetings are where we should be. Do I
recognise that I need the power of fellowship?

They recommend ninety meetings in ninety days for
good reasons: human contact, exposure to the
example of others, good advice and the formation of
good habits. It may seem a big commitment, but
how much time did I spend drinking and using?
Ninety meetings in ninety days ensures that I will
really get the message and start working the Steps. I
will feel a sense of belonging. Keeping a
commitment boosts my self-esteem. Today I will
keep whatever commitments I make.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 6th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly


Dry drunk

Early recovery isn’t easy. We may have stopped our
addictive behaviour, but contented sobriety seems far
away. Instead, we feel irritable, negative, impatient,
resentful, depressed, anxious and nostalgic for the
past; perhaps all at the same time. This won’t last
forever, but we need a coping plan. Not everyone
gets to feel thus, but the condition is common enough
to have a name – dry drunk syndrome. We have just
quit our addiction, similar to a bereavement for
some people. Part of us still has regrets. Do I accept
that warning signs of ‘dry drunk’ behaviour must be
given priority?

Reconnection and interaction with the right kind of
people is the main answer. Review the people you can
talk to and if you don’t have a sponsor, get to a
meeting and find one. The real danger in early
recovery is isolation. Your feelings may result from
not addressing underlying factors contributing to
addiction, such as domestic abuse. If so, professional
help may be needed. Underlying anger, grief or ego
issues may require attention. Accept and share your
feelings. We are blessed to have the Twelve Step
fellowships to listen and for that I am grateful.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 4th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – review expectations


Forgiveness


The act of forgiveness seems at first, like an act of
weakness. Holding on to hatred and resentment
against someone who has harmed us can give the
illusion of having power over them. Nothing could
be less true. Such feelings weaken and distract us –
why dwell on such a sick relationship? Forgiving
will release us from a huge burden that we did not need
to carry. It is cleansing our soul of bitterness for the
sake of our peace of mind. Am I addressing my
resentments with a goal of forgiveness because I
know that this will benefit me?


To rid ourselves of resentment, we need to
understand the other person’s behaviour and ask
why it happened. We have already worked Step
Four, with the intention of forgiving ourselves. We
can now apply the same process to others to
understand them better. Inner peace is created
through connections, not stand-offs.
If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should
find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to
disarm all hostility. Henry W Longfellow.
Today I ask God for help in understanding my
fellow men and women.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 3rd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly


Happiness


Fly with the crows, get shot with the crows is an old
way of saying: stay away from bad company. But that
does not mean we should isolate. Leave the crows
behind and join the bluebirds of happiness instead.
There is something very attractive about the freeflying
lifestyle of the bird – English literature is
packed with bird metaphors and references:
Higher still and higher
From the earth thou springest
Like a cloud of fire;
The blue deep thou wingest.
Percy Bysshe Shelley, To a Skylark.
All nature is about change and growth – which is
what we are after. Am I seeking growth and
progress, not perfection?

Happiness should not be seen as a destination but as
a choice, or a result of a series of choices. Every day
we make thousands of choices, some big some small.
Happiness comes from making the right choices
and also from being able to cope, when we make
wrong ones. The Twelve Steps teach us honesty,
humility and acceptance so that being wrong no
longer seems like disaster. A calm contentment is
quite sufficient for today, and I give thanks.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 1st by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from head to toes.


Awareness


One of the great blessings of recovery is peace of
mind – that magical state where you can enjoy the
moment and simply exist, without the intrusion of
everyday worries, outside distractions or internal
pressures caused by unruly emotions. True peace of
mind comes from the knowledge that we are living
our lives as best we can, and the outcome is in the
hands of a Power greater than ourselves. For
centuries, people have reached this peaceful state
through prayer and meditation. This continues
today not only in prayer but in two types of
meditation techniques – mindfulness and
awareness. Mindfulness is about introspection and
control of the thought process while awareness is
about using the senses rather than thoughts and
feelings. Am I using meditation to find peace of
mind?


Meditation brings balance. The body’s response to
meditation lowers blood pressure, enhances
metabolism and heart rate. The soothing of our
mental processes – consciousness, memory and
perception, makes for wellbeing. Today I ask to be
in a state of overall calm.

Daily Reading from recovery Days October 31st by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts


Cognitive dissonance


Cognitive dissonance arises when our desires do
not match our values and beliefs. When our actions
come at the cost of overriding what we know we
should be doing, the internal conflict requires us to
construct excuses – a fundamentally dishonest
response. The ancient fable of the fox and the grapes
tells the story of a fox that tries and tries to reach some
grapes but cannot, so he tells himself that he didn’t
really want them after all. ‘Sour grapes’ is a common
response to cognitive dissonance. Most great
negative historic events were perpetrated by people
who told themselves they were doing the right thing
when really, they were motivated by greed.
Christopher Columbus discovering the New World
is an obvious example. Addictive behaviour is full of
cognitive dissonance, but recovery must be
different. Do I check my motives and the choices I
make, to avoid cognitive dissonance?


I must be able to recognise when I am at fault and
make an honest attempt to do better. Today I ask for
rigorous honesty to make sure that I stay on the
right track.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days October 30th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your body from head to toes


Enquiring mind


Poets are ‘God’s spies’ said the poet Shelley,
meaning – go out into the world and see things
differently:
In today’s world, an enquiring mind is increasingly
in demand because Artificial Intelligence can do so
much where ordinary skills and information are all
that is needed. Addicted people are usually great
problem solvers – the sheer necessity to obtain the
substances we crave, for example, makes us so. And
necessity of course, is the mother of invention. In
recovery, this can be put to good use. The late Steve
Jobs of Apple once said: ‘the next great innovation
will be made by a poet’. Am I open to the idea that
creativity and an enquiring mind will help to
recover?

A creative and enquiring mind is a luxury that I can
use in recovery, to take me ‘beyond my wildest
dreams.’ Today I ask to keep my mind open to new
ideas

Daily Reading from Recovery Days October 29th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel the silence
Disappointment
Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot is a play where
nothing happens or, as one critic said: As it is in two
acts, nothing happens twice. It is an example of the
‘theatre of the absurd’. The play deals with
disappointment and unrealised expectations, as the
title implies. Godot never comes. The actors and
audience find themselves united in a vacuum of
frustrated desire. Real life is often the same: our
extravagant hopes and expectations come to
nothing, and we wonder if there’s any point in going
on. In the play, the two main actors decide to hang
themselves but can’t find a rope, so they continue
waiting. Nobody knows what Beckett was really
saying because he wisely didn’t tell. Not
surprisingly, the play was often popular in prisons
where inmates related to the pain of just waiting.
Perhaps the message is that life is often
meaningless, but you must get on with it and don’t
give up hope. Am I learning to deal with
disappointment?
Feeling entitled is the pathway to resentments. Like
the characters in the play, I must learn to deal with
days when nothing happens. Today I will seek to
manage my expectations.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days October 27th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably


Risk


Addiction is a loaded gun and Russian roulette is a
dangerous pastime but addicted people play that
game most days. How many of us really knew the
strength of the powders and weeds we consumed?
Were we sure our bodies were free of alcohol before
we drove? Around one hundred thousand people are
convicted of drink-driving in the UK each year.
Have I finished playing Russian roulette with my
life and the lives of others?


In addiction, we’re all risk takers and sobriety can
seem like a joyless alternative at first. How wrong
that is. There are so many things that I never tried or
was too mentally numb to bother about when I was
using. I can now try new experiences and see which
ones I like:
All experience is an arch wherethrough
Gleams that untraveled world whose margin fades
Forever and forever when I move.
Alfred Lord Tennyson.
Today I ask not to fear trying new things.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days October 26th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly


Trust


In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name
was Job. This man was blameless and upright; he
feared God and shunned evil.
Book of Job.
The Bible tells that, in spite of all this, God allowed
Job to suffer, as a test of his piety. But when Job
remained steadfast, God rewarded him with great
blessings, more than he had previously. The story
of Job teaches us to trust God under all
circumstances. We must trust not only when we do
not understand, but because we do not understand.
God has reasons are beyond our comprehension.


In my daily life there may be disasters and losses –
great and small. I may be tempted to ask why. God
allows suffering because he allows free will. If God
did not allow suffering, there would be no free will.
How we deal with this world where suffering
happens is through faith, hope and love. Before I
stopped using drugs, I did not trust anyone. It
required a huge effort to hand my life over to a
Power greater than myself but now that I have done
it, my anxiety has decreased dramatically. Today I
will trust my Higher Power to show me the way.