Category Archives: Behavioural Addiction

Daily Reading from Recovery Days February 19th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – review expectations


Think, think, think

There is a difference between considered action and
unconsidered action, which is usually just reaction
to events. Learning to think logically enables us to
exercise some control over how we experience
things and what we do. It means being conscious
and aware enough to choose what we pay attention
to. We can choose how we derive meaning from
experiences and learn from them. In active
addiction, we didn’t have time for much except
meeting our immediate urgent needs. Now we have
time and a clearer mind. Taking considered courses
of action, even if they fail, will always help us to
grow because we can see later, exactly where we
went wrong. Am I ready to learn from my mistakes?

What was the last mistake that you made? Perhaps
it was very minor, like forgetting a birthday. But if we
take the experience as an opportunity, we can grow
as a result. Own up to the mistake, apologise and try
to see where you failed (I forgot to write it in the
diary) and plan to do better (put all birthdays in the
diary!). Today I ask God for a positive approach to
mistakes, so that I may learn from them and grow.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days February 17th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your heartbeat in your pulse

Grow recovery

There are some events where we are spectators and
some events where we are part of the team. The two
experiences are hugely different. Most addicted
people become isolated and disconnected, which
means they usually become spectators. This often
makes them feel more isolated. To become a team
player requires conscious effort, but the spectator
role is often a passive one. Like when watching TV,
the spectator role can be enjoyable, but it usually
lacks the sense of achievement, inspiration and
growth that comes from working together in a
group. Recovery should never be seen as a static or
passive state. Am I ready to grow my recovery?

How can I turn good intention into action? My
comfort zone of the victim role is steeped in
inactivity. What motivates me to change? Hope?
Courage? Envy? Anger? it doesn’t really matter. The
important thing is to make that first move into a new
way of doing things. Then I can feel progress
because I am switching from a passive role to
active.Today I thank God that I am part of the
recovery team.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days February 15th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – flex your muscles from feet to head

Consequences of behaviour


Our thoughts, feelings and actions are all
connected. They are also an influence on others.
When we live a life of honesty, unselfishness, and
positive action, it cannot fail to influence those we
meet during the day. An unexpected act of kindness
or respect can sometimes change a person’s outlook
and ultimately, their whole life. People never forget
the way you make them feel, even when you don’t
realise what you are doing. Am I aware of the effect
that my behaviour has on others?


If the universe shows direct evidence of design by a
Higher Power, then the existence of that Power
appears more certain. Scientists are increasingly
coming to this conclusion. When we feel that power
ourselves, for example, at an AA meeting, we
realise that we no longer have to rely on blind faith.
Like doubting Thomas in the Gospels, we have
seen and felt the power. It comes from the words
and example of others at the meetings – their
enthusiasm, honesty and willingness to help. Most
people feel better after a meeting. Today I ask God
to be aware of the effect of my behaviour on others.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days February 14th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – listen to the silence

No compromises

Holding onto the past and making excuses for poor
performance are failures of determination. We are
naturally inclined to let ourselves off the hook as soon
as we can. An inappropriate reward system is another
danger. If we stay sober for a week and decide to
‘reward’ ourselves by going to a party where people
may be drinking and using, then we are weakening
our determination for sobriety through unrealistic
attitudes. Again and again in early sobriety, we need
to remind ourselves that recovery is not a game but a
way of life that will save us from death. Do I fully
understand that there is no place for compromises?

When I make a searching and thorough personal
inventory, I am leaving no room for compromise. But
I must not try to achieve too much in too short a time.
Our need for instant gratification is just as likely to
lead to discouragement as false rewards are. The
secret is to set our sights on steady progress that can be
recognised by the sense of calm fulfilment that it
produces. Today I ask for the determination to make
steady progress

Daily Reading from Recovery Days February 13th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe deeply

Openness


Addiction for most people seems to happen in three
phases: first you get to like it, in the same way you
like a cheeseburger. Then you feel the attraction as
a relationship, as between a beautiful girl or boy.
Lastly, you discover you really need it, like the air you
breathe. To recover from addiction, we must create a
precisely opposite scenario: first view it as a toxic air
that will kill you. Secondly, see your relationship as
damagingly co-dependent and to be immediately
severed. Thirdly, recognise that you have been liking
something much worse than a piece of junk food –
one that can kill you. Have I the ability to see the
reality of my addiction and the will to change?


In Islam, the Prophet Mohammed stated that
intoxicants such as alcohol, and gambling are but
defilement from the work of Satan and thus
forbidden. Even selling or making alcohol is
forbidden. There is much to be admired in his
writings on the subject: they show an
understanding of the effect of such behaviour on a
person’s morals and mental faculties as well as
physical damage to the body. I ask God to help me in
abstaining from addictive substances.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days February 12th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts

Determination

Determination is one of the magic ingredients that
we think we need but probably already have, to
make our recovery work. In active addiction, most
of us were very determined people who would not
allow anything to stop us from obtaining the substance
we so urgently needed. We must now turn this
determination into an asset to help us reach our
goal of happy sobriety. Am I ready to use my
determination to help my recovery?

The word determination means not stopping – not
quitting. For so many people, quitting or giving up is
the softer, easier way that can become a habit in
itself. It may not feel very good when you give up on
something because it seems too difficult to continue,
but not feeling good about ourselves is the price
that many of us have paid in the past, so as to keep
our addictive behaviour going. This is entirely self-defeating
and feeds into the whole downwards
spiral of debilitation and despair that alcohol and
drugs create. Today I ask God for the strength to be
steadfast and determined in all that I attempt to do.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days February 11th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – review expectations

Twelve Step fellowships

If you were told that there was an organisation of
people spread throughout the world whom you
could contact and meet at any time and at no
financial cost, then you might imagine it to be some
sort of religious organisation. But Twelve Step
fellowships differ from religious organisations in a
number of ways. The fellowships have no dogmas,
make no rules for membership or behaviour, and
make no differentiation between members. All are
equal and all are welcome. Am I grateful to be a
member of such a universal and beneficent
organisation?

The Twelve Step fellowships are there to meet our
spiritual needs as well as our human ones. There is a
Higher Power in fellowship meetings that works
through other people. We feel that power when we
go to meetings and paradoxically, the people we
connect with there, pass on the power to us by
giving it away. Step Twelve talks about a spiritual
awakening and passing on the message to others.
And so it happens every day, in thousands of
meeting rooms across the world. Today I thank God
for the miracle of the Twelve Step fellowships that
remain a force for good in the world.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days February 10th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts

Contentment


If I’m sober and others are drinking, what will they
think and say? Well, most of them don’t care. The
others only have mild interest. Why should you
care? You have the high ground – the clear head, the
control, and the physical wellbeing – why should it
matter what others think? Most people who have a
contented life don’t drink and most people who
achieve great success in just about any walk of life
don’t drink. You are most definitely on the right
team. Am I happy to be recovering from addiction?

‘Landscape with the Fall of Icarus’ by the Dutch
painter Pieter Breughel is a painting which depicts
exactly that. The mythological Icarus flew with
wings of wax and feathers made by his father. They
melted when he flew too near the sun, and he
crashed into the sea. In the beautiful painting of
this cataclysmic event, none of the farmers and
bystanders shows any interest at all – they just don’t
care. When we ourselves crash and burn, the same
apathy is often there. We think everybody is
watching us, but we are not as important as we once
believed – a lesson that is good for our egos. I pray
that I may reach out to others with gratitude to God
for making this possible.

Daily Reading of Recovery days February 9th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – smile several times

Twelve Step Programme

Part of the Twelve Step programme is about
carrying the message to those still suffering from
addiction, just as others carried the message to us at
an earlier time. Part of the strength of Twelve Step
fellowships lies in the ability of people to connect
with others, even those who have not yet got the
message. It’s not surprising that such empathy
should exist, and it is up to each of us to make sure
we put ourselves to good use in helping others,
which is our primary purpose. Am I doing all I can
to help my fellow sufferers?


I am no longer alone and for that I am grateful. Now
that sobriety has become for me the new normal, I
can work to build my life around my recovery in all
sorts of unexpected ways. I develop new interests,
visit new places and meet a variety of new people
without fear or suspicion on either side. Like often
attracts like, and our true selves, living lives of
principle and high standards, will attract similar
people. Today I give thanks to God that my fear of
people has been replaced by the pleasure of
connection.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days February 8th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes

Relationships


Relationships and connections lie at the heart of a
lot of our emotions. When we are angry, fearful,
happy, or grieving it is probably because of some
glitch in the relationship we have with others. It
may not be our fault (as when somebody dies, for
example but as always, the key lies in our response.
If we are to establish meaningful connections with
others, then we must work at maintaining them and
the Twelve Steps show us the way. Do I understand
that re-connecting with others is a vital part of my
recovery?

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to
seek and find all the barriers within yourself that
you have built against it.
Rumi.
What Rumi says about love is equally true for any
sort of relationship. We put up barriers sometimes
out of fear or ignorance. Our work on ourselves in
recovery tells us of the dangers of judging others.
We need to keep an open mind. Today I ask God
for the precious gift of friendship.