Category Archives: Behavioural Addiction

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 27th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment


Exercise and recovery

Our nature lies in movement, complete calm is death, (Blaise Pascal). Addiction is a mental, spiritual and physical disease so, successful recovery should involve these three elements. Exercise alone may not directly impact on the Twelve Step programme, but it gives many obvious benefits that can be grouped under the general heading recognised by the ancient dictum: Mens sana in corpore sano. (a sound mind in a sound body). These include stress reduction, general wellbeing and a better sleep pattern. It is even possible for people to become addicted to the act of taking exercise. Do I recognise the real benefits of a sensible exercise routine?

The therapeutic effect of gentle exercise was recognised by medieval monks who would recite their daily office while walking up and down. Another Latin phrase: Solvitur ambulando (things can be solved by walking) is attributed to the fifth-century bishop St Augustine. Walking is a valid form of meditation. Japanese poet Basho recommended composing Haiku (three-line poems) while walking:
No one travels
Along this way but I
This autumn evening. (Basho).
Today I will gratefully experience the benefits of exercise.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 26th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably

Contemporary spirituality


Attitudes to spirituality in the twenty-first century are different from those of much earlier times when religious certainty in the Western world led to a consensus of a Christian God who would lead us to eventual salvation, even if not worldly happiness, if followed. We are all spiritual beings who continue to search for meaning in life and beyond, but today many of us take a more holistic approach to both belief and to practice. This leads us to spend more time on self-actualisation and meditation and less on religious dogma and ritual. In the programme of Twelve Step recovery, we are introduced to the concept of a Power greater than ourselves that will help us to combat the power of addiction. It is our choice how we perceive this Power, but we are advised to seek one because the alternative – that we rely just on ourselves – is likely to be a lot more problematic. Have I found a Higher Power to whom I can hand over my problems?

There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled.
There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled.
You feel it, don’t you?
You feel the separation from the beloved.
Invite him to fill you up, embrace the fire. (Rumi).
I give thanks today for the great gift of spirituality.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 25th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your body


Perfectionism

Setting standards that are impossible to maintain sets us up for feelings of anxiety, worthlessness and general negativity. We do not like to think of ourselves as imperfect because that seems like failure; we are ‘all or nothing people.’ We may thus sometimes prefer to do nothing because failure would be too much to bear. This can seriously hinder recovery because the Twelve Steps teach us to accept ourselves as human beings who have character defects just like everyone else. Perfectionists can feel so bad and self-critical that they seek out people they deem worse than them, just to make themselves feel better. Eventually, they find themselves trapped behind their own perfectionist defences. The solution is to accept defeat and ask for help, which will be readily given – many of us have been in that position. Do I recognise the dangers of perfectionism?

Acceptance, honesty and humility are the way out of the perfectionism trap. Once again, I am having to manage my ego and deal with admitting defeat – a challenge to my pride. Trust in the goodwill and empathy of my fellows will help me, little by little, to admit that I am not perfect. Today I ask that I accept myself as I am.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 24th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe slowly


Connection

Twenty-first century life is high-tech, fast moving and highly stressful. The exponential growth in communications has led some to believe that our lives would become not just easier but safer. The mass sharing of thoughts, feelings and information would, it was hoped, lead to an era of worldwide peace and understanding. Instead, we are seeing dislocation, disconnection and a sense of spiritual emptiness that bring feelings of anguish, anxiety, and bewilderment. What we need, the experts now tell us, is a return to core values – kindness, honesty and humility and to things that really matter – family, friends and community. You find these in Twelve Step fellowships. Those of us in recovery are focused on self-improvement – our example might help others too. Am I glad that my fellowship values the important things in life?

Technology is a double-edged sword. It can also be a means whereby people become addicted – gaming, shopping, pornography and social media addictions would all be a fraction of their present size without technology. Yet the internet itself is used for fellowship meetings and step work, a real boon at times when face to face is not possible. A limited case of ‘let your poison be your cure.’ This is not compromise, but adaptability. Today I am grateful for technology but mindful of the dangers.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 23rd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your body


Cocaine Anonymous


The first meeting of Cocaine Anonymous was held on this day in 1982 in Los Angeles, California. Based on similar principles to those of Alcoholics Anonymous, today it helps thousands of people and regular meetings can be found throughout the world. Following the success of AA, a variety of fellowships have arisen to address the addictive substances and behaviours that are now seen in increasing numbers. Workaholics Anonymous, Debtors Anonymous and Gamers Anonymous are just a few examples. All share an altruistic approach to recovery through abstinence, mutual support and self-help. Am I grateful for the example of the many Twelve Step fellowships in the world?


Rather than judging a person, it can be a more profitable exercise to consciously look for all the good you can find – there will probably be much. Search thoroughly and categorise each part. We can learn much about another person by doing this and also much about ourselves. In doing the Twelve Steps, we learn to look at ourselves in this way; we are a mixture of good and bad and we identify the bad in ourselves, so as to change. We are probably used to being judged negatively by others – most addicted people are. But in the fellowships, we look positively, to give help. People change through support, not criticism.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 22nd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly
Social media addiction
Some social media applications are deliberately designed to be addictive. The providers want you to keep coming back. The facility to scroll, to ‘like’ a post and to ‘follow’ another person are all designed to involve you and keep you seeking positive feedback, so you feel unsatisfied if you don’t get it. Social media addiction is actually feedback addiction. It produces changes in brain chemistry similar to the effects of substance abuse. Symptoms of this, such as preoccupation, excessive time spent on the activity, exclusion of other interests and fear of missing out (FOMO), are clinically recognised although not included in the US Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Am I aware of the dangers?
Our egos interact with social media applications in a way that suits the ego perfectly, because social media is designed to meet our expectations and desires, however inflated and unreal they may be. Ego demands recognition on its own terms which basically means as much as possible. Sites that give us numerical tallies of friends, followers, likes, mentions and comments are just what an ego loves, and it goes for them like a dog at a bone. No matter that we’ve never met our friends or engaged with our followers, for a moment we can feel good and that, for many, is addictive. Today I ask help in managing my ego.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 21st by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – review expectations

Self-discovery

Self-discovery never throws up a final and permanent answer – our identity is an ongoing condition and what we are today will not be the same in every respect tomorrow. Addiction turns us into monsters, caricatures of our true selves, and we must face the monster before we can find our true personality. This is the first stage of our journey towards a new life of contentment. Unless we understand ourselves, we cannot make the changes that are needed. These changes must be deep and thorough, because our personality is not ‘skin deep’. In fact, like an onion, we have several layers or ‘skins’ ranging through us, from: behaviour, feelings and thoughts, attitudes, beliefs to the innermost, our core values. It is no good simply trying to change the surface (the behaviours) unless we change the rest. So, for example, stopping drinking (behaviour) won’t work unless you believe that it is the right thing to do (belief). Do I recognise the process of self-discovery?

Change would be a lot easier for most of us if we didn’t have so many preconceived ideas. Courage to change is as much about letting go of the familiar ways as about embracing the new. I must come out of my comfort zone and discard the familiar role of the victim who blames others. I will take responsibility for my life with guidance from my Higher Power.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 20th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably


Climate change anxiety


The impact of climate change is obvious. It arouses strong feelings. The mental health of many is suffering and some people are turning to substance abuse. Doing nothing in the face of oncoming disaster is no longer acceptable. Addicted people will recognise that attitude. Both climate change and substance abuse are symptoms of a world where countries put self-interest before the greater good. We seem stuck in our selfish ways. The great economist and problem-solver Maynard Keynes said, roughly a hundred years ago: The difficulty lies not so much in developing new ideas as in escaping from old ones. Twelve Step fellowships are non-political. We embrace a life that prioritises sobriety, spiritual growth and peace of mind. We have a duty to help those struggling with addiction. Am I there when anyone, anywhere reaches out for help.?

Whatever is happening in the world, my first duty is to keep myself sober and balanced. I hand my fears and anxieties over to my Higher Power in the sure knowledge that I will receive guidance. AA began shortly before the start of World War II and many members found strength in the programme during the worst moments in combat, such as the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbour. Most of us have already had our own private Pearl Harbour, a member said. Today I give thanks that I can hand my problems over

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 19th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your body

Social Media Dangers

When Bill W and Dr Bob met in 1935, there were no mobile phones or laptops. Their meeting was arranged via telephone (landline of course) but that was where technology stopped. Today, separation from one’s mobile phone causes acute anxiety for many people. There is a name for it – ‘nomophobia’. We suffer from over-exposure. Our words and actions can be projected on platforms, to be seen and judged by millions, if we wish. Bill and Dr Bob would find it amazing, and I suspect, alarming. If they could be asked their main concern at the power of social media, I think they would both say the same: Ego. Am I remembering to check my ego when on social media?


Wanting to be admired is a basic instinct. Not wanting to be vilified is another. Social media amplifies exposure to both, sometimes causing extreme emotional upheaval. There can be negative consequences such as depression, anxiety and substance abuse. Writing in 1960, Bill W said: Nothing matters more to AA’s future welfare than the manner in which we use the colossus of modern communication. Used unselfishly and well, it can produce results surpassing our present imagination. Should we handle this great instrument badly, we shall be shattered by the ego manifestations of our own people. The future has now arrived. Today I ask God for help to manage my ego.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 18th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – Close eyes briefly

AA in Ireland


The first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous in Ireland was held on this day in 1946, in Dublin. It is thought to have been the first in Europe. Ireland of course has strong links with the United States, strengthened by large numbers of migrants over the centuries. Remarkably, twenty-three US Presidents claim Irish origin. AA came to England the following year. We are fortunate that AA was originated by people who acted in the best interests of the fellowship, rather than for personal gain. They were not saints, and some had very human faults. We are no different today. We must carry forward in the same spirit, the Three Legacies of Recovery, Unity and Service. Am I grateful for the founders of AA for the Three Legacies?


Turlough O’Carolan was a well-loved itinerant minstrel, born in Westmeath, Ireland in 1670. Blind from an early age, he travelled the country with his harp. Some of his beautiful music is still played today. The story goes that he was over-fond of alcohol and that this held him back from reaching his full potential. In the cultures of most great nations there are often similar stories of gifted people who tragically were held back or sent to an early grave by their addiction. Those of us in recovery should remind ourselves of the great gift that we have been given. Our responsibility is to carry the message. Today I remember this.