Category Archives: Living skills

Daily Reading from Recovery Days October 1st by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts


Self-discipline

Willpower alone is not likely to keep us sober for
long, but a bit of self-denial and unselfishness will be
helpful. Addiction makes us think only of ourselves
and it will do us good to start thinking of others for a
change. We may need to learn self- control, starting
with the little things, like not having that extra biscuit.
It will help our self-esteem to realise that we are
making mature decisions with good long-term
results. Am I learning to make the right choices?

Self-control is a practical technique that can help us
respond appropriately to temptation and overindulgence.
When we are dealing with spiritual
matters, we would be wrong to rely on our own
resources for the right response. It is much better to
allow ourselves to be guided by our Higher Power.
This is true when we are learning to deal with other
people as well. For most of us, handling
relationships in a good way is the most difficult
challenge that we face. Repairing damaged
relationships can bring challenges that we may feel
unable to manage, unless we can hand them over to
our Higher Power. Today I ask for wisdom and self-control
as I learn to handle relationships.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days September 30th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts


Mature relationships


This month we have looked at responsibility and
the need for awareness. In everyday life, the most
often-repeated challenges come through our
relationship with others. Relationships are often
difficult, but we can learn ways of dealing with
them. In recovery, we must be especially careful
because relationship problems can give rise to strong
emotions that we may still find hard to handle. Am I
working on my ability to handle relationships?


Steps Eight and Nine are when we put personal
responsibility into practice. Of course, it is
important to make amends to people we have
harmed – they deserve that respect. But, for us, this
is a moment when we really start to grow. A person
who has made a thorough and honest attempt at
Steps Eight and Nine cannot be said to be child
anymore, but rather, someone who can say:
When I became a man, I put away childish things.
St Paul, Corinthians.
Today I give thanks for the maturity that I am
gaining through the Twelve Step programme.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days September 28th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly


Emotional maturity


As active alcoholics, we lost our ability to choose whether
we would drink. We were the victims of a compulsion
which seemed to decree that we must go on with our
own destruction. Bill W.
Today I have the choice. I can choose to relapse and
lose my new life of fulfilment and purpose but at this
moment I do not wish to. I must take care to keep
in emotional balance because some extreme
emotion could put me in danger of making the
wrong choice. Have I made the right choices
today?


Making the right choices requires maturity. We all
have common sense but some of us have never
stopped being driven by our desires – that need for
quick gratification that a child often has. Maturity
comes from taking responsibility for our lives and
not expecting someone else to rescue us. In other
words, I must come out of the ‘child ego state’ into
the ‘adult ego state’. This is a big decision for a
child and is best achieved though taking small
steps. I ask God today for the courage to deal with
the world as an adult.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days September 27th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably


Spirituality


There are two kinds of people one can call reasonable: those
who serve God with all their heart because they know him, and
those who seek him with all their heart because they do not
know him. Blaise Pascal.
Twelve Step fellowships do not try to define God,
they merely recognise the existence of a ‘Power
Greater than Ourselves’. Do I accept the
existence of a Higher Power?


The idea of exploring spiritually is one that most
agnostics are open to, if only because they
recognise that some things in the universe
cannot be explained. It can also bring a deep
sense of meaning to your life which in itself, is
good for mental health generally. Exploring
spiritual ideas commits us to nothing except to
embark upon a magical journey that might just
result in bringing us more peace and
contentment. All that is needed is an open mind.
Let the Twelve Steps gently lead you to explore
spiritual growth. Today I give thanks for the
spirituality that I have discovered through
following the Twelve Step Programme.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days September 26th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body gradually


Giving


St Francis of Assisi was born on this day in 1181. The
humblest of saints, he founded the Franciscans
(monks) and the Poor Clares (nuns) after renouncing
his lifestyle as the son of a wealthy cloth merchant. He
lived as an example of poverty, unselfishness and
humility which influenced many and perhaps his
best-known saying is: It is in giving that we receive. Can
I learn from St Francis the importance of giving?


St Francis was known for his gentleness and sense of
humour and another of his sayings is: It is not
fitting, when one is in God’s service, to have a gloomy
face or a chilling look. Smiling is good for us, and
it is very good for others to see, as well. When I
show that I am enjoying our recovery, I send a
powerful message to the world.
Lord, make me a channel of your peace:
where there is hatred let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope; where there is
darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy. St Francis.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days September 25th by Chris B

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Trust the process


‘Trust the Process’ is a phrase we often hear in
recovery. It means having faith that things will work
out alright without our supervision. People with
control issues find it very hard to hand things over to
a Higher Power. There is so much fear connected to
addiction. We become terrified that our erratic
behaviour is going to cause chaos (it usually does).
We conclude that the only response is for us to micromanage
everything. In our confused state, this
doesn’t happen, and we become over-anxious and
desperate. We try to control future events and that
doesn’t work either. Eventually we seek escape in
addictive behaviour. Sobering up, we have to take the
leap of faith by handing over our will and our life to
our Higher Power. Am I ready to trust the process?

The Third Step Prayer is about handing over and
trusting the process: This simple prayer has
brought relief to thousands of addicted people,
regardless of their religious or non-religious views.
As I say the prayer and feel my burden easing, I
know that the process has begun.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days September 24th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly


Give in order to receive


Heard at an AA meeting: The banquet is ready;
the food is all laid out – you bring your own plate.
In other words, all the benefits of a happy sobriety
are there for us, but we have to contribute
something ourselves. Another comment: NA is a mine
where we find gold each day, but what we find,
we give away. Do I understand that any Twelve Step
fellowship is a two-way arrangement where I give
away what I have, in order to keep it?

Non nobis solum sed toti mundo nati. Anon.
(Not for ourselves were we born, but for the
world).
This beautiful mediaeval saying has been proved to be
true, many times. Lives of complete selfishness
simply do not work. I must remember that no man
is an island, and that isolation will make me
unhappy whereas helping others without
expectation of reward or thanks, can be the most
satisfying of actions.
It is not good for man to be alone. Genesis.
What can I bring to the feast? Today I ask God to be
able to give of myself, that I may receive.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days September 23rd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body gradually


Tolerance


Tolerance is a necessary consequence of our
being human.

We are all products of frailty
– fallible and prone to error – so let us
mutually pardon each other’s follies. This is
the first principle of human rights.
Voltaire.
It takes all kinds of people to make the programme
work and we learn from everyone we meet. If for
example, a person disrupts a fellowship meeting
while under the influence of drugs, we can all see
something of ourselves in the behaviour. I should
not judge but look for the good. Am I learning to be
tolerant of other people’s behaviour?


Negativity has been our default mood for so long that
it requires conscious effort be positive. I must learn to
look for the good, not the bad, in order to help others.
As they say in the fellowships: We are not here to see
through each other, we are here to see each other
through. Today I ask God to help me be aware of my
approach to meeting people so that I consciously offer
the hand of friendship rather than the cold eye of
judgement.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days September 21st by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from top to toes


Spiritual bond


There are more ways than one of getting sober. In
some countries they put alcoholics in jails so remote
that it’s not worth escaping. In the Western world
there is understanding but also ignorance. The AA
way is through surrender to a Higher Power.
Nobody in AA specifies what that power might be, it
is enough that it exists. This spiritual element
seems to open people so that they come together.


Addiction devastates our self-esteem. There have been
many days in the past when we looked in the mirror
and did not like what we saw. Now we can look in
the mirror and see a good person smiling back, as
poet Walt Whitman seems to do:
I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume, you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me
As good belongs to you. Walt Whitman.
Like it or not, he says, there is a connection and a
bond between us all. Today I give thanks for the
bond that exists between all living things.

Daily reading from Recovery Days September 20th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe slowly


I am sure that I never read any memorable news in a newspaper.
If we read of one man robbed, or murdered, or killed by accident,
or one house burned, or one vessel wrecked, or one steamboat
blown up, or one cow run over on the Western Railroad, or one
mad dog killed, or one lot of grasshoppers in the winter—we
never need read of another.
Henry David Thoreau.
Thoreau wondered if we could become addicted to
news. What would he have made of twenty-fourhour
news channels? He died in 1862 after a
remarkably unconventional life. He was first to
conceive the idea of civil disobedience and spent
two years living very simply in a hut in the woods to
experience the essential facts of life and to gain
enlightenment. He was practising mindfulness
before the word was invented. Can I benefit from
mindfulness by using the example of others?


Thoreau described moments of peace when his mind
had: The calmness of the lake when there is not a
breath of wind, and without an effort, our depths are
revealed to ourselves. I can aspire to such moments
using meditation. Today I give thanks for the peace
that comes through mindfulness.