Category Archives: Living skills

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 20th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

Balance

Balance in life is everything. The all-or-nothing attitude that we had while our addiction was on the rampage does not serve us well in recovery. If possible, we should seek to grow in all the main areas of our lives and the techniques we can use include meditation and prayer, education and experience, and sharing and discussion. We do not have to be perfectly balanced in our approach but there is a danger if we focus too much on just one aspect – say meditation – and ignore the others. Honesty, openness and willingness to change can be useful reference points in checking our recovery actions. Sometimes it helps to see someone who you think is handling their recovery in a purposeful and balanced way and use them as a role model. Am I growing my recovery in a balanced way?

If I feel overwhelmed in any aspect of my life – work, home or relationships, then perhaps I have not been giving enough attention to self-care. Looking at to-do lists, and anxiety levels honestly will tell me if this is the case. The solution may be as simple as learning to say ‘no’ or to do with my expectations and the pressure I put on myself to succeed. I need to get real. Recovery is about peace of mind and enjoying life, not about putting myself in difficult situations. I ask for insight to look at myself honestly and make changes, to give my life balance.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 19th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body gradually

Power of addiction

Chronicles relate that in 1066 the English passed the night before the battle of Hastings in drinking. The Normans spent the time confessing their sins. The English had a reputation as heavy drinkers even then, although drunkenness was considered a double sin under the two headings of gluttony and selfdestruction (thou shalt not kill). Seeing alcohol abuse as a slow form of suicide has not deterred many drinkers. Nor have any other intellectual arguments. It seems it is only when the pain of addiction becomes greater than the pain of stopping that we seek help. Do I recognise the power of addiction to kill me?

Sometimes it all seems too much. We try everything we can think of to stop our addictive behaviour, and we still fail but we keep on trying. We will succeed eventually. With our Higher Power, we will prevail because we now have something greater than addiction. We have discovered that there are better choices than addiction – ones with more power to help us. I ask today that I will never give in to the power of addiction.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 18th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe slowly

Dreams and reality

It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life so interesting. Paolo Coelho. Most dreams are worth working for. And worth failing for. But not all. So, what are your dreams? Are they valid? Imagine all your life pursuing a dream only to find at the moment you have it, that it’s not up to scratch. Sometimes a dream is a better motivator than an actual goal. When you actually achieve your dream – perhaps to be a millionaire – it can be a huge disappointment. Perhaps it’s true what they say: the pleasure is in the journey, not the arrival. So be careful what you wish for. Am I sure that I will be glad when my dreams come true?

Are my dreams actually just desires, a mirage of endless pleasure that will turn to dross? A dream worth pursuing has to be for a valid purpose and there are such dreams: to marry and have a family for example, or to become a doctor. Setting ourselves up to follow a dream like that is fine but we should remember that life does not cease at such moments. If you can dream and not make dreams your master. Kipling. Whatever we achieve, there will always be something to do after that. Simply making sure that everything we do is done for the right purpose, may result in fulfilling our greatest dream – happiness on a daily basis. I ask to balance my dreams with reality.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 16th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably

Spiritual Growth

People will surprise you if you give them a chance. Some change, some do not. Remember your first day at school? Did the people who impressed you then turn out to be the ones who would stick by you? Some people have the courage to change, and some do not. Perhaps the best surprise is the moment you suddenly recognise your own worth, with all your strengths and weaknesses. Courage to change can seem an impossible goal but when the pain of not changing is intense, we find it easier to do. If we do not change, we probably do not grow, and our goal is spiritual growth. Am I willing to pursue the goal of spiritual growth, through change?

When I plan ahead carefully for the future, I may be setting myself up for a lot of anxiety and disappointment. Life seldom goes according to plan. If my own planning is too rigid, I will f ind myself distressed when things go wrong. Better to be flexible and to regard life’s surprises as stimuli that serve to keep me on my toes. A positive attitude that welcomes new challenges means that I am more likely to produce a good response.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 15th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts

Alcoholics Anonymous, the Big Book

Today in 1938 the name Alcoholics Anonymous was approved. AA co-founder Bill W and colleagues had begun writing what would become the Big Book in 1938, but no title had yet been agreed. From a shortlist of two, the other possible title: ‘The Way Out’ ran into copyright difficulties, so ‘Alcoholics Anonymous’ was chosen. It was published in 1939. The history of the Big Book and how it was produced makes fascinating reading. Named one of the most influential books of all time, it has sold over thirty million copies. Do I appreciate the work of the early members of AA in producing such a seminal work?

AA is a goldmine of experience, support and example which we can benefit from every day of our lives, but the gold we extract must be given away. There is so much paradox in my life already; ‘No Pain without Gain’, ‘Surrender to Win’, even the mysterious ‘Fake it to Make it.’ Giving away what I have been given makes perfect sense because I am the beneficiary from the giving of others. In my gratitude and humility is my strength and my desire to carry the message on to others less fortunate. I am thankful for the Twelve Step fellowships and the work that they do.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 14th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

Managing my internal revolution

The storming of the Bastille in Paris on this day in 1789 marked the start of a decade of bloody revolution which morphed into the rise of Napoleon Bonaparte – perhaps France’s finest moments of glory. It’s tempting to use that event as a metaphor for all kinds of situations where great gain comes out of great pain. Addicted people make their own drama and each of us needs a revolution to depose our internal ‘ancien regime’ of sloth, dishonesty and hypocrisy. A Phoenix emerging from the ashes of the tomb. Andre Chenier on the French Revolution. No need to say more. Am I prepared to embrace my recovery in the spirit of sobriety, liberty and fraternity?

I must accept the world as it is. Life is difficult and I must take care not to make it any worse. People only behave violently, as they did in the French Revolution, when they have nothing to lose. But I on the other hand must behave well, because I have everything to lose – my new life in sobriety with all that it has given me: new interests and peace of mind, new friends and old friends rediscovered, and most of all, my Higher Power. Today I give thanks to God for taking me through moments of great upheaval and pain into a state of peace of mind.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 13th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from top to toes

Keep it simple

Thinking, feeling, perception and intuition are the four functions of the ego, according to renowned psychiatrist Carl Jung. Employing these, we interpret and respond to reality. That works best when we have rid ourselves of the burdens of the past and the future and simply focus on today. We distort our grasp of reality by our opinions, our needs or our expectations. We must keep it simple, then we can progress our personal development. Do I appreciate that I must build my life on a foundation of reality?

Keep it simple Thinking, feeling, perception and intuition are the four functions of the ego, according to renowned psychiatrist Carl Jung. Employing these, we interpret and respond to reality. That works best when we have rid ourselves of the burdens of the past and the future and simply focus on today. We distort our grasp of reality by our opinions, our needs or our expectations. We must keep it simple, then we can progress our personal development. Do I appreciate that I must build my life on a foundation of reality?

When you lack understanding and you are unable to control your mind, your senses do not obey you, just as unruly horses do not obey a charioteer. Hindu, Upanishads. Total control of my mind will probably never happen, but I must remember that my thoughts, feelings and actions are all connected. If I focus on these and do not let my opinions and expectations get in the way, then I will be able to make the right choices. I will use meditation and mindfulness to help clarify my thoughts.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 12th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from top to toes

Positive, affirmative action

Three frogs sat on a log in a pond. One decided to jump into the water. How many frogs were left on the log? Three, because none actually jumped. There is no point in deciding to take action unless you act. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Half-truths are a way of avoiding action. Saying you will ‘try’ is no good. Trying is lying, as they say in the fellowships. There is no substitute. We should do what we say we will do. That way, we gain selfesteem and respect. Will I be a positive person who always does what I say I will do?

I must strive to be the kind of person that does not act just to seek the approval of others. If I feel that what I do is morally right, then it should not matter if I am approved or ridiculed, because I have peace of mind. If I ask my Higher Power to guide me in all, and not worry about the views of the world but simply do what is right, I will have the courage of my convictions. I ask that in doing so, I will become an example to others and thus be giving of myself.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 10th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body

Dangerous relapse situations

Talk of having a ‘slip’ can minimise its seriousness. We can all get thoughts about drinking. Our addiction keeps trying to stage a comeback. The crucial moment is when the thought first appears. We must be quick to root it out and not entertain it because once we start dreaming about drinking or using, we are unconsciously grooming ourselves to embrace the notion. A cool glass of beer on a hot day can be a delightful thought as we struggle down a crowded city street but where would it lead us? It is vital that we banish such thoughts immediately and have a prearranged plan for doing so – a person to call or a task to change our mindset. Do I have a plan to deal with ideas of drinking and using?

As soon as I start to think that I am in control of my life, that even subconsciously, I have no real need for my Higher Power, then I am in danger. I must carry out a reality check – back to basics: I am addicted, probably no human power could have relieved my addiction, but my Higher Power has helped me do so, when asked. How can I think, when I look at the past, that I can succeed on my own?

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 9th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably

The child within

Childhood can be tough. Traumatic events leave emotional scars as well as physical ones. The absence of love causes lasting psychological pain. A damaged child learns to be wary of attachments because:

  • Love is conditional (manipulation)
  • Love makes you weak and vulnerable
  • Love must be searched for and can be lost
  • Love hurts but emotions need to be hidden. Many of us have had bad childhood experiences that still affect us. The way they have influenced our attitudes to life may be small – or large: Don’t do that, you’re not clever enough to try or don’t say what you really think – it’ll get you into trouble. Addiction is often rooted in some kind of  attachment problem. Do I recognise the suffering of my inner child and see there is more work to do?

Past suffering remains a measure of who we are, a characteristic of our inner child. To comfort this child, we must understand our suffering, because some good may come of it in the end. This can seem contradictory but is often a theme of religious teaching. Today, I will treat others with kindness.