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Daily Reading from Recovery Days August 3rd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe slowly

Relationships

Self-discovery and interpersonal skills can be learnt
in many ways. Most addicted people fail to learn
these skills naturally because their addiction takes
over. They are often advised to start by building a
relationship with an animal. With animals present,
the interaction is a metaphor. People’s everyday
struggles with themselves and other human
relationships are replicated. Different behaviours –
trusting, asking for help, showing assertiveness and
respect – are important life skills that can be
practised. Do I recognise the need to practise
interpersonal skills before embarking on serious
relationships?

Love instead of selfishness, connection instead of
escapism, acceptance instead of perfectionism.
These are some of the attitudes that I need to adjust
to. I must put in the work because they won’t just
happen by themselves. My relationships need to be
compatible with my own values and principles, so it
is in my best interests to make them right. I must
learn to trust others, to ask for help when in need
and to give to others when asked.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days August 2nd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

Reaching out

Mr Toad, in Kenneth Grahame’s book The Wind in
the Willows is a children’s favourite and a
therapist’s dream. An emotional ragbag of childish
rebel and arrogant fantasist, he epitomises the ‘King
Baby’ type so often found in addiction counselling.
Mr Toad’s enormous ego leads him into all kinds of
trouble including prison, for what sounds like
automobile theft and drink-driving. His salvation
comes through his innate honesty and the
unwavering love and support of his friends. One
could draw a parallel with many real addiction
stories. Addiction isolates people. Along our path
to recovery, there is nearly always somebody who at
some crucial moment was there to extend the hand
of unconditional love and friendship. Am I grateful
for the acts of kindness that I have received?

A brand new, bright red motor car might seem the
most desirable gift. But a smile of thanks when we
perform an unsolicited act of kindness does more
good at far less cost. It takes little to bring
happiness– I just need to reach out and ‘astonish a
mean world with my random acts of kindness’ as
American writer Maya Angelou might have said. I
ask God today for the motivation to reach out to
others.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days August 1st by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably


Balancing needs


If you have been addicted and thus, someone who
puts themselves first all the time, you will likely
have caused a lot of damage to others. Steps Eight
and Nine are about making amends. You identify
those you have harmed. Then, in Step Nine you first
divide that list into people that you can approach
and those that it would be better not to contact
because it would reopen old wounds. At this
important moment you should consult your sponsor
or a person you trust, for guidance. In your newfound
zeal you may have difficulty balancing the
cost to others against the desire to relieve your
conscience. In some cases, more time may be
needed. Do I accept that I must balance my needs
with those of others?


The Twelve Steps are a blueprint for a happy life.
These two Steps help us deal with the past, and
teach us the importance of treating other human
beings with the love, respect and consideration they
deserve. Everyone has their own story with their
own strengths and frailties which we need to
recognise. Today I ask God for the wisdom to
balance my own needs with the needs of others.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 31st by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from top to toes


Higher Power

Making sense of a Power greater than ourselves
causes some people difficulty. That is
understandable. It is sometimes explained like this:

  • Addiction is powerful, more powerful than us
  • We were unable to beat it until we asked for help
  • With help, we succeeded – that took some power
    to achieve
  • The power was in other people – fellowships and
    elsewhere
  • Perhaps that power came to them from elsewherea
  • What sort of power? It doesn’t matter. It’s there.
    Can I accept the existence of a Power greater than
    myself even if I can’t put a label on it?
  • There are many atheists and agnostics in the Twelve
    Step fellowships. But, we share more similarities
    than differences. Our primary purpose is not to
    promote any religious belief but to stay sober and
    help others achieve sobriety. In our differences lies
    our strength, because we can appeal to all people
    and exclude none. Not all organisations can say the
    same. I give thanks for the recovery fellowships to
    which I belong.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 30th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly


Making choices

It’s a fine thing to say: Build your life around your
recovery, but what does that really mean? Firstly, as
with any building, the foundations must be strong: I
commit to complete sobriety, personal growth,
keeping sober company, attending meetings and
doing service – all on a regular basis. Secondly, I
commit to spiritual growth through working the
Twelve Steps and maintaining a dialogue with a
power greater than myself. Thirdly, I commit to
carrying the message to others. With these three
commitments firmly established, I can attend to
other matters: family, work and other interests.
Whenever I have a choice to make about the future
for myself or my loved ones, will I first apply the
litmus test: will this be right for my recovery?

I must keep a positive attitude to my recovery and
not allow compromises or be complacent. Regular
maintenance is essential. But I must also keep an
open mind and not shut myself off from new ideas.
The internet is an example of a new approach to
unity that many fellowships have successfully
embraced. Today I give thanks to God for my
recovery and ask to remain open-minded to new
ideas.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 29th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe slowly


Mindfulness

It is difficult to describe how mindfulness works.
Being aware of our surroundings and of our place
in the world and thus our place in the universe is
part of it. Opening ourselves to something we
cannot see or quantify, seems to bring us a feeling
of peace. Perhaps it is because our past lives have
been such a chaotic mess that we welcome these
precious moments. American poet William Stafford,
was a conscientious objector during World War Two:
Been on probation most of my life. And
The rest of my life been condemned.
So, these moments
Count for a lot – peace, you know.
William Stafford.
Am I exploring the benefits of mindfulness?


Prayer should be a dialogue, not a list of requests. It
is quite a turning point when our communication
turns from: Please give me this to: Thy will be done.
It is spiritual progress, not a sign that we have
reached our destination. We will not arrive there until
we breathe our last. Today, I give thanks for the new
relationship that I enjoy with my Higher Power.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 28th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body gradually

Individuality


Influences and pressures are constantly with us
today and hard to ignore. Of course, we can choose
to block some, such as social media, but its power,
often negative, is very strong. Understanding that we
are being manipulated by clever market techniques
may make us think twice. We are encouraged
into envy, jealousy or just plain wanting things.
The packaging is so glamorous that we don’t
see possible consequences – debt, pride
and disappointment, for example. People are
often led into gambling, shopping, pornography
and other behavioural addictions by clever
marketing techniques. Do I consider negative
consequences from social media and other
influences?

If I am watching a small screen intermittently,
for hours each day, how much time do I have for my
own thoughts? And how much am I worrying about
the opinions of others? I am not here on earth to
meet other people’s expectations. I am here to do
what is right for me and ultimately right for
the world. Perhaps I need to review my
responses. I ask God today for the strength to
assert my individuality.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 27th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment

Tolerance

The wider our experience, the deeper our tolerance.
At fellowship meetings we sometimes hear stories
that would make great newspaper headlines if we
were not bound to silence and anonymity. Yet, we
listen with understanding and our response: ‘There
but for the grace of God go I’, is heartfelt and
entirely genuine. Tolerance should not be taken as a
sign of minimising but as one of empathy and
compassion. We have all done things we regret and
talking about them openly is the best form of
therapy. Am I ready to listen when another shares
their experiences, with tolerance rather than
judgement?

I used to judge people negatively because it made
me feel better about myself. My self-esteem was low
and I was envious of ordinary people and couldn’t
see how I could ever be like them. But now I have a
sense of purpose and am trying to do things right. I
find that I think more positively about myself and
have no need to try to bring others down to my level.
I no longer need to judge others and make
unfavourable comparisons, for the sake of my low
self-esteem and I give thanks for that today.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days July 26th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from top to toes

Action and contemplation

What we plant in the soil of contemplation,
we shall reap in the harvest of action.
Meister Eckhart.
The fourteenth-century mystic is saying here what
others have said since: that both contemplation and
action are needed. It is not a case of either one or
the other, but both together. As Pope Gregory the
Great wrote, hundreds of years before Eckhart,
activity and thought are like two eyes that work
together to produce eyesight. The debate on
whether to be or to do, continues today – whether to
be Mary or Martha. Do I understand the benefits of
both action and contemplation?

Love the Lord your God with all your heart,
with all your soul and all your mind and love
your neighbour as yourself. St Luke.
In loving God, I engage in contemplation and in
loving my neighbour, I engage in positive action.
Both are a form of connection, fundamental when
dealing with the disease of addiction, which is
basically, an attachment disorder. I ask for the
wisdom to take positive action, when I need to.

Daily Reading from Recovery July 25th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts


Nicotine

It’s not so very long ago that the majority of people
smoked tobacco wherever and whenever they
wanted. Successful government campaigns
changed attitudes and behaviours. Smoking is an
addiction with health consequences that are as
serious as many other drugs. It is not wise for
anyone to develop a dependence on any addictive
behaviour and cross addiction means that one
addiction can lead to another. Smoking tobacco can
easily lead to smoking other substances such as
marijuana. A lot of people find that smoking
tobacco and alcohol goes well together. Am I aware
of the dangers of cross-addiction?

Any kind of dependence can limit my ability to
grow and mature as an adult person. Dependence
makes me selfish, fearful and avoidant of
responsibility. I used to think that I was an
independent person when in fact I was the opposite.
It was only when I faced reality and asked for help
that I started to become truly mature and
independent. Today I give thanks to the fellowships