Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 10th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body gradually

Integrity

Personal integrity is part of my mission in recovery. I should also be aware of the need to preserve the integrity of the Twelve Step programme. We who follow this path are the custodians of a tradition that goes back many decades. It is strong and successful because it has integrity. That means that we do not compromise with our Steps or our Traditions. The urge to adapt and improve things has led to trouble in many areas of life. If we want to improve something, then it should be ourselves, not the programme. Am I prepared to accept the programme of recovery without compromise?

The Twelve Step fellowships are strong, but we must constantly be checking their health, as well as our own. Many great institutions are destroyed not by outside enemies, but from inside. It is the crooked timber of our own humanity that puts the stress on the edifice. Our own prejudices and ignorance are the threat. Today I ask God for the strength and integrity to keep the message of recovery constant, without compromise.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 9th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably

Step Four

When we consider integrity, we think of being true to ourselves, but what does this really mean? We expect to act in accordance with our beliefs, values, and principles but sometimes our thinking gets in the way, so that we act ‘out of character’, perhaps because we want to influence somebody, perhaps out of fear or just sheer confusion. Sometimes, people who have just sobered up have been so damaged by their addiction that they don’t know themselves at all and need to explore their personality. That, of course, is where Step Four is useful. For many in recovery, the chances of being true to themselves are slim until they tackle this Step. Am I ready to do a searching and fearless personal inventory?

If I have integrity, it will be recognised by others. Many people pretend to be what they are not, but they can be easy to see because they are often not consistent, believable or calm. Integrity gives us a quiet confidence and authority that comes with peace of mind. With integrity, we will be at ease with our Higher Power, secure in the knowledge that we have been managing our affairs in the right manner. Today I will seek to act according to my beliefs and values in all my affairs.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 8th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from top to toes

Gambling and cross-addiction

Pauline’s (not her real name) gambling problem led her to steal thousands from her employer. She also abused alcohol. She attempted suicide unsuccessfully and then found Gamblers Anonymous. With their support, she handed finances over to her husband, self-excluded from casinos and entered a debt management programme. She attended GA and AA meetings regularly. Gambling is often associated with heavy drinking. Quitting behavioural addictions often requires practical action. The need for courage and honesty is there, whatever the addiction. Am I aware of the dangers of cross-addiction?

A lot of addictive behaviour is progressive, meaning that it gets gradually worse. Tolerance to drink and drugs increases and our gambling stakes get bigger. Once we stop the behaviour, we should not expect everything to suddenly come right. Our recovery will be progressive, gradually getting better, just as our disease used to get worse. When cross-addiction is present, the progress may be even slower, but we must be patient. I ask God today for the patience to understand that we seek progress, not perfection in recovery.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 7th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment

Disease of addiction

Our active addiction traps us in a kind of ‘Stockholm Syndrome’ where the captive becomes emotionally attached to the captor, despite the latter’s malicious intent. For some, giving up their substance or behaviour of choice can seem like a bereavement, similar to the loss of a loved person. We need to recognise this condition however illogical it may seem. Long term addiction distorts our ability to see things as they really are. We are very complex people and addiction is a very complex disease, but the underlying message is very simple: it will kill us if we allow it to. Do I fully understand that I have a disease that can kill me?

It is almost unbelievable that intelligent people would continue self-destructive behaviour to the point of death when fully aware of the consequences. Yet addicted people do it all the time. It may seem that fear of death is less than fear of losing our drug or behaviour of choice, but it is more complicated than that. Emotional pain, self- deception and ego are such toxic and powerful ingredients that only the most powerful thing we know can defeat them – Higher Power. Today I ask that I never forget the power of God’s help.

Today I Will………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 6th by Chris B

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* April 6 *

Remember mindfulness – send positive thoughts

Giving it away to keep it

To paraphrase a US President: “Ask not what your recovery can do for you but what you can do for your recovery.” (Kennedy). A happy recovery is not possible if we are driven by our egos. We must give recovery away in order to keep it. Another President (Roosevelt) announced a ‘New Deal’ to end the great Depression in the 1930’s. Recovery is our New Deal, and we have to make it work. Fortunately, in the Twelve Step fellowships, we have the means, so that “recovery of, by and for addicted people”, is entirely possible. It is our blessing and our salvation. That’s quite enough paraphrasing. Will I work to keep my recovery by giving it away?

Give and it will be given to you. With the blessing of recovery comes responsibility to pass it on to the less fortunate. We should never allow ourselves to be simply takers because selfishness inevitably causes alienation and leads us back to isolation and self- protective attitudes. Before we know it, we are back in the vicious cycle of meeting our own selfish needs before everything else. Today I ask God for the gift of altruism so that I may help myself by helping others.

Today I Will………………………………………………………

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 5th read by Chris B

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* April 5 *

Remember Mindfulness – review expectations

Step Four

Step Four involves us in taking a thorough and searching personal inventory. An important aspect of this Step is to examine our personal value system – what we respect, hold precious and protect. This goes to the heart of our beliefs, especially our view of ourselves and our view of the world. Our own values dictate how we interact with others. Do we respect them, disdain them, or feel the need to rescue them? We would do well to remember that we are not responsible for other people and to ask ourselves honestly: do I protect what I value, and do I respect what others value?

Sometimes it is hard to recognise that a problem is not mine and refuse accordingly to take on the difficulties of others. Being a compulsive helper does not resolve the other person’s fundamental problem because they need to take responsibility for their own lives. I can only change myself, and that should be work enough. There are many paradoxes in recovery: surrender in order to win is one, and another is that recovery is about making connections but also about setting proper boundaries.

I ask today to know the difference between when to protect and when to respect.

Today I Will………………………………………………………

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 4th by Chris B

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* April 4 *

Remember Mindfulness – Close eyes briefly

Honest in all my affairs

Absolute honesty requires constant attention. Many addicted people are expert at ‘getting away with things.’ For example, blaming others for our situation is usually a form of dishonesty to ourselves because we cannot face the reality that we are responsible for the choices we make. Denial of the severity of our illness is another example. Unless we can get into the habit of being rigorously honest with ourselves in every way, then no amount of courage or positive action is going to help us stay sober because we will be starting from a position of unreality. Will I be honest today in all my affairs?

Honesty demands courage. So often in the past, we may have chosen the softer, easier way because we were not brave enough to stand up for the truth. In recovery, we have to change. Where do we find that courage – from our Higher Power, who acts through other people – the support and example of our brothers and sisters in recovery. I ask God today for strength in my weakness, courage in my fear and fellowship in my isolation.

Today I Will……………………………………………………..

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 3rd by Chris B

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* April 3*

Remember mindfulness – breathe calmly

Conscience

Everyone experiences cognitive dissonance in their lives, in some form or another – the moment when you consider or actually do something that jars with your principles. It could be as relatively minor as dropping a piece of litter in the street. People struggling with addiction often live a life of repeated cognitive dissonance because every time they drink or use, they are acting against their deepest instincts. To do so causes anxiety and is highly stressful – humans do not like being in this state and may try to ease the pain with a quick fix. The only way to end the dissonance and restore emotional balance is to listen to our conscience with complete honesty and then, to act with courage to redress the situation. Am I ready to listen to my conscience honestly?

I believe that help is available from outside myself. I experience this help in all kinds of ways, on a daily basis. People of faith seldom lack courage, but it is not empty bravado. It is the quiet and humble knowledge that our lives have a purpose and that we will be guided to fulfil that purpose if we ask. Today I ask for the honesty to listen to my conscience and the courage to take the action I need.

Today I Will………………………………………………………

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Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 2nd by Chris B

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* April 2 *

Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably

Honesty

Addiction is a Faustian pact that we make in order to get short- term pleasure and relief in exchange for dire consequences at a later date. Few of us, however, make the pact in a measured way. Instead, we find ourselves at the bottom of a slippery slope sometimes without realising how it happened. That does not mean we can avoid responsibility. We must be honest and brave in facing up to the mess we find ourselves in, recognising our part in it. Do I take responsibility for my part in my addiction?

In the depths of our despair, we reach out to our Higher Power for help and become ready to do his will. Admitting defeat requires courage but we have little choice because addiction says to us, in the words of Bill W: “You had better do God’s will or I will kill you.” Nevertheless, in spite of so much overwhelming evidence, there are some whose egos simply won’t allow them to do so. We can only hope and pray that they find the capacity for being honest before it is too late. Today I pray for those who are unable to be honest with themselves, may they eventually find the strength and honesty that they need.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days April 1st by Chris B

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* April 1 *

On this day in 1943, the Big Book of AA was first published

Big Book

Alcoholics Anonymous is one of the most influential books of all time. In 2011, the 30 millionth copy was presented to the American Medical Association, which declared Alcoholism an illness in 1956. A parallel book – Narcotics Anonymous, was produced in the 1980’s, based on an earlier ‘Little White Book’. This has sold several million copies. There is an almost biblical flavour to the history of these publications. Their production required the involvement of many contributors, and the editing process was not always easy. Still highly relevant today, they stand as a monument to the dedication and wisdom of the early fellowship members. Am I grateful for the integrity and industry of the pioneers of AA and NA?

“Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.” This bold statement at the beginning of Chapter Five of Alcoholics Anonymous is today backed by the living proof of millions throughout the world who have achieved sobriety through following the programme. When much of the world appears unstable and unreliable, it is reassuring to have the rock of the Twelve Step fellowships in our lives. Today I thank God for a second chance at life.

Today I Will…………………………………………………….