Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 13th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment


Nothing changes if nothing changes


‘Nothing changes if nothing changes’ sounds like a great motivational mantra, but it’s actually incorrect. If nothing changes, other things often do change – they get worse. For example, if you don’t take corrective action and keep on drinking that bottle of whisky each day, you will die – sooner rather than later. What the saying really means is that if you want change, you have to make it happen. Change is not easy of course. Two things frighten us: first, the unknown factor – what will be the results of change, and will there be unforeseen consequences? Will I be able to cope with whatever arises? Second and more immediate – how to deal with people’s expectations? Sometimes it’s just less hassle to stay with the familiar misery of demeaning work and frustrated dreams. Again, if addiction is your problem – What will your drinking buddies say if you go on the wagon and what will your loved ones expect of the new, sober and squeaky-clean you? Some people’s dreams of recovery never get past these imponderables. Do I know that change requires positive action?

We alcoholics are undisciplined. So, we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined. But this is not all. There is action and more action. Faith without works is dead. (AA Big Book). Today I will reflect on this.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 12th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably


Live and let live

Appearances can be deceptive but that doesn’t stop us making judgments about people. Most of us don’t like uncertainty, it’s simpler to classify people on impulse. An NA member’s story goes like this: I didn’t like the newcomer from the time I first saw him. He had a bad attitude and didn’t listen. I avoided leaving the meeting at the same time, in case I had to talk to him, because our homes were not far from each other. When I left, I saw him walking up the road, a hundred yards ahead of me. I watched as he stopped to help a homeless man who was getting ready to sleep in a shop doorway. I felt ashamed of my own attitude and resolved to apply some rigorous honesty to my own behaviour in future. Do I see the faults in me rather than focusing on those in others?


Intolerance of others is not helpful. I do not have all the answers and I should not seek to impose my opinions or will on others. Being self-righteous like the Pharisees in the bible, is divisive and counterproductive. We do not deal with dogma, the Twelve Steps are merely suggestions, based on the experience of people who have used them successfully. We do not say that our way is the only way. Today I ask to remember that it is not appropriate for me to judge others or tell others how to behave.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 11th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your body


Sex addiction


As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from
uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed
in his bed into a monstrous insect.
Franz Kafka, Metamorphosis.
Thus begins Kafka’s best-known story. The sinister
tone of some of Kafka’s writings has led people to
wonder if the great man struggled with some form
of addiction. Could metamorphosis into a horrible
insect be some kind of metaphor for drug
dependence, they wondered. A 2008 biography by
Dr James Hawes, confirmed their speculation by
revealing that Kafka had a sex addiction. Perhaps
the ‘monstrous insect’ that he described was indeed
an actualisation of his shame and guilt. The reality
today is that ten percent of internet websites
contain pornography, and thousands struggle with
some form of sex addiction. Am I aware of the
dangers of sex addiction and cross-addiction?


Sex addiction especially impacts self-esteem and
relationships. Help is available in the Twelve Step
programme of Sex Addicts Anonymous. All
addictions are treatable with honesty, openness
and willingness to change. I will remember today
that: there, but for the grace of God, go I.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 10th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

Stick with the winners


Some people are shining examples, and some are
horrible warnings. We can learn valuable lessons
from both, but we need to stick with the winners. We
need to detach ourselves from people, places and
things that are bad for our recovery. This may be
hard but we cannot compromise. Addiction never
goes away; it is always waiting to return. We should
never test ourselves by revisiting old behaviour. Do I
accept that I don’t play games with a killer disease?

A Native American told his son this story:
Inside me there are two wolves who fight each other.
One is evil – it is all the bad things like anger, pride,
aggression, envy and lies. The other wolf is good – it is
love, peace, hope, kindness and truth. Everyone has
these wolves inside them. The boy thought and then
asked: Which wolf will win? The one, said his father,
that you feed. Anon.
This familiar story carries a powerful message –
that we can choose how we wish to be. By playing
the victim, harbouring resentments and blaming
others we feed the bad wolf. Euphoric recall of the
past does this too. Trusting, helping others and taking
responsibility are all ways of feeding the good wolf.
I will feed the good wolf.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 9th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – review expectations


Witnessing

After many years of ruinously destructive addiction,
a person enters rehab and leaves clean and sober.
What happened? Change happened. What sort of
change? Change of attitudes, beliefs and
behaviours. How did change happen? Through
honesty, openness and willingness. But how was it
successful when so many fail? Through outside
help. What help? Help from a Power greater than
ourselves. Why? Because the person asked. This is
the story of thousands who follow the Twelve Steps.
Through our recovery, we bear witness to the power
of the programme and to our Higher Power. Am I
aware of my responsibility as a recovering person, to
bear witness through my behaviour and attitude to
life?

To bear witness is to be a living proof of a
significant happening. Just saying it is true is not
enough. Actions speak louder than words.
If I alone bear witness about myself, my
testimony is not deemed true. But…the very
works I am doing, bear witness about me.
The Bible, St John.
At first, our loved ones are understandably sceptical.
Today I will bear witness to my recovery.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 8th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably

Programme of Recovery

Don’t try this at home is something that presenters
of TV shows about extreme sports or DIY say, when
they are about to attempt something really difficult.
It means don’t try things when you lack adequate
resources. Such advice should be given to those
attempting to quit drugs and alcohol, not only
because withdrawal can be fraught with dangerous
fits and hallucinations. The early days clean and
sober can seem a frighteningly empty time as well. If
DIY recovery was a realistic option, more people
would do it. The fact is, we deal with something that
can kill. We need all the support we can find. Twelve
Step meetings are where we should be. Do I
recognise that I need the power of fellowship?

They recommend ninety meetings in ninety days for
good reasons: human contact, exposure to the
example of others, good advice and the formation of
good habits. It may seem a big commitment, but
how much time did I spend drinking and using?
Ninety meetings in ninety days ensures that I will
really get the message and start working the Steps. I
will feel a sense of belonging. Keeping a
commitment boosts my self-esteem. Today I will
keep whatever commitments I make.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 7th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your body


Self-discipline


Addiction is a mental, physical and spiritual disease
and successful recovery involves the head, the heart
and the soul. This can be described as holistic
growth and if we are to achieve balanced progress,
we will need involvement in three basic activities:
study, meditation and sharing. Recovery is a new
way of life and preferably, it should be learnt, not
simply tried on a hit or miss approach. There is
much complexity in the subject of addiction but in
the fellowships, we try to ‘keep it simple’. That does
not mean we should take things for granted. Do I
aim for spiritual growth in a balanced manner?

Some of us are burdened by what Buddhists call the
‘monkey mind’, the inner voice of distraction that
howls out to be heard as it swings from one topic to
another. To quieten the monkey mind, first ask
yourself what calms you – is it walking, praying,
writing or listening to music? Incorporate whatever
it is, into your daily routine. Ground yourself daily as
a priority. Mindfulness gives you a sense of
connection and awareness and helps you to view the
world in a calm manner. I will tell myself today:
Be here now. Remember Mindfulness.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 6th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly


Dry drunk

Early recovery isn’t easy. We may have stopped our
addictive behaviour, but contented sobriety seems far
away. Instead, we feel irritable, negative, impatient,
resentful, depressed, anxious and nostalgic for the
past; perhaps all at the same time. This won’t last
forever, but we need a coping plan. Not everyone
gets to feel thus, but the condition is common enough
to have a name – dry drunk syndrome. We have just
quit our addiction, similar to a bereavement for
some people. Part of us still has regrets. Do I accept
that warning signs of ‘dry drunk’ behaviour must be
given priority?

Reconnection and interaction with the right kind of
people is the main answer. Review the people you can
talk to and if you don’t have a sponsor, get to a
meeting and find one. The real danger in early
recovery is isolation. Your feelings may result from
not addressing underlying factors contributing to
addiction, such as domestic abuse. If so, professional
help may be needed. Underlying anger, grief or ego
issues may require attention. Accept and share your
feelings. We are blessed to have the Twelve Step
fellowships to listen and for that I am grateful.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 4th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – review expectations


Forgiveness


The act of forgiveness seems at first, like an act of
weakness. Holding on to hatred and resentment
against someone who has harmed us can give the
illusion of having power over them. Nothing could
be less true. Such feelings weaken and distract us –
why dwell on such a sick relationship? Forgiving
will release us from a huge burden that we did not need
to carry. It is cleansing our soul of bitterness for the
sake of our peace of mind. Am I addressing my
resentments with a goal of forgiveness because I
know that this will benefit me?


To rid ourselves of resentment, we need to
understand the other person’s behaviour and ask
why it happened. We have already worked Step
Four, with the intention of forgiving ourselves. We
can now apply the same process to others to
understand them better. Inner peace is created
through connections, not stand-offs.
If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should
find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to
disarm all hostility. Henry W Longfellow.
Today I ask God for help in understanding my
fellow men and women.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 3rd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly


Happiness


Fly with the crows, get shot with the crows is an old
way of saying: stay away from bad company. But that
does not mean we should isolate. Leave the crows
behind and join the bluebirds of happiness instead.
There is something very attractive about the freeflying
lifestyle of the bird – English literature is
packed with bird metaphors and references:
Higher still and higher
From the earth thou springest
Like a cloud of fire;
The blue deep thou wingest.
Percy Bysshe Shelley, To a Skylark.
All nature is about change and growth – which is
what we are after. Am I seeking growth and
progress, not perfection?

Happiness should not be seen as a destination but as
a choice, or a result of a series of choices. Every day
we make thousands of choices, some big some small.
Happiness comes from making the right choices
and also from being able to cope, when we make
wrong ones. The Twelve Steps teach us honesty,
humility and acceptance so that being wrong no
longer seems like disaster. A calm contentment is
quite sufficient for today, and I give thanks.