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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from top to toes

Step Eight

Step Eight deals with the first part of the process of
making amends. This can be the most challenging
Step of all for some people. Nobody likes looking
over their past mistakes – the dishonesty, stupidity
and coercion that probably went with them is not
nice. Writing a list forces us to confront our actions,
and we must be completely honest. If we minimise
or omit the most painful bits, we will not feel
satisfaction. We addressed these issues in Steps
Four and Five already, and that was a vital exercise
in self-discovery. Now, for the first time, we have to
Step outside ourselves and see the reality of our
behaviour – the pain we caused to others.
Becoming willing to make amends opens up the
prospect of a lot of difficult conversations, and
perhaps some highly negative reactions. But we must
be steadfast. Am I willing to make amends?

I approach Step Eight with trepidation, and rightly so.
It is a real opportunity to grow my recovery and I
must get it right. I must humbly ask my Higher
Power for guidance. I do not have to deal with it all
at once. The important thing is to become willing.

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your whole body gradually

Resentments

Holding on to our resentments is a familiar trait of
many addicted people. It is a burden that we do not
need to carry. Yet, we are so used to negativity that we
prefer to play the victim, blame others and stay in our
state of self-pity and anger, rather than do something
about it. Resentments can make us feel superior, even
powerful but in reality, we give power to the person we
resent – power to spoil our peace of mind. It will
eventually isolate us from family, and friends. Am I
aware of the dangers of holding on to resentments?

Resentment is the Number One offender. It
destroys more alcoholics than anything
else. From it stem all forms of spiritual
disease. AA Big Book.
Whatever the facts of the case, it is my response that
matters. When I forgive somebody for a perceived
harm, I help myself to get better. It is self-care and
a sign of maturity. To say a prayer for the person
whom I resent can be helpful. I will do so. I ask God
today to guide me in dealing with resentments and
forgiving those who may have harmed me.

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably

Choices

We make choices every day, some small, some big.
Life can be seen as just a series of choices. It is thus
important that we learn how to choose correctly.
Addicted people often choose only to meet their
immediate wants – perhaps a pill or a drink. In that
way, they are seeking instant relief, as children
want their immediate needs to be met. But children
learn gradually to make responsible choices –
through the example of others, and by trial and
error. Unfortunately, addiction means we don’t
learn this way and the results are obvious. Recovery
is about making grown-up choices. Am I learning
to make the right choices?

People only make changes when they understand
the need. If for example, I want to change my
outbursts of anger, I must first understand why
they happen, what makes me behave like that.
Practising self-awareness and honesty leads me to
discover the things in me that I need to change.
Today I will reflect on the process of making choices
and ask God for wisdom to make the right ones

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment

True love

Awareness begins with viewing your thoughts and
emotions in as detached a way as possible and
learning from them. It is a technique that may seem
awkward at first but then becomes a habit.
Perseverance produces insights that lead to change.
The change that helps people most is ceasing to see
oneself and one’s needs as the main focus of
attention. See oneself as part of creation, so that
everything is no longer about ‘me’, can be called
‘disidentification.’ Am I ready to learn awareness?

Modern love stories are often about manipulation,
intrigue and possessiveness. People pursue other
people in states of anxiety, desperation and burning
desire. It makes for great reading and great cinema,
but real love is something else. Loving people
because you need them in order to be happy is not
what love should be – it becomes about control
instead. I must recognise only real love.
Love does not dishonour others, it is not
self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it
keeps no record of wrongs. St Paul.
I ask God today that I will seek only true love.

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe slowly

Self-respect

Self-respect is important because it changes not just
the way you see yourself but also the way others see
you. A young American in Detroit made a meagre
living making clay pots and selling them in the
local market. He decided one day that change was
needed, so he wrote a large placard explaining that the
pots were made with very special clay under
supervision of a master craftsman, in a limited
edition of just two hundred. He also upped the
price tenfold. Within a day he had sold them all. He
is now a leading artist and advocate for social
change in the area. His story illustrates a truth –
that if you increase your valuation of something,
even of yourself, then others will respond positively
and agree with your valuation. Do I place a high
enough value on myself?

I must not over-value myself, that would be too
prideful but neither should I undervalue myself,
because that is effectively undervaluing my Higher
Power who is my guide and strength. I just need to
have a realistic view of myself and my strengths and
weaknesses. Today I ask God for the wisdom to see
myself as I really am.
……………………………………………………….

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment

Recovery requires maintenance

We’re not in Kansas anymore.
The Wizard of Oz.
Indeed, we are not. We are in recovery and Oz is our
Rehab. The cyclone that threw little Dorothy into a
whole new world has been likened to the storm
created by addiction. The Scarecrow that she meets
(who needs a brain), the Tin Man (who needs a
heart) and the Lion (who needs courage) remind us
of the essentials required for change to happen.
The Wicked Witch is of course, our addiction. On
this day in 1939, The Wizard of Oz premiered in
Hollywood. I don’t know why so many children’s
stories seem to be metaphors for addiction, perhaps
it is in the eye of the beholder. Am I grateful today
that I can reflect on stories of all kinds without any
negative feelings?

Many things require maintenance including
physical health, relationships and beliefs. I must
maintain my recovery seriously. The Wicked Witch
may not get me if I don’t, but addiction certainly
will. Today I ask God for the wisdom not to minimise the need to maintain my recovery.