Category Archives: Living skills

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 10th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly

Stick with the winners


Some people are shining examples, and some are
horrible warnings. We can learn valuable lessons
from both, but we need to stick with the winners. We
need to detach ourselves from people, places and
things that are bad for our recovery. This may be
hard but we cannot compromise. Addiction never
goes away; it is always waiting to return. We should
never test ourselves by revisiting old behaviour. Do I
accept that I don’t play games with a killer disease?

A Native American told his son this story:
Inside me there are two wolves who fight each other.
One is evil – it is all the bad things like anger, pride,
aggression, envy and lies. The other wolf is good – it is
love, peace, hope, kindness and truth. Everyone has
these wolves inside them. The boy thought and then
asked: Which wolf will win? The one, said his father,
that you feed. Anon.
This familiar story carries a powerful message –
that we can choose how we wish to be. By playing
the victim, harbouring resentments and blaming
others we feed the bad wolf. Euphoric recall of the
past does this too. Trusting, helping others and taking
responsibility are all ways of feeding the good wolf.
I will feed the good wolf.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 9th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – review expectations


Witnessing

After many years of ruinously destructive addiction,
a person enters rehab and leaves clean and sober.
What happened? Change happened. What sort of
change? Change of attitudes, beliefs and
behaviours. How did change happen? Through
honesty, openness and willingness. But how was it
successful when so many fail? Through outside
help. What help? Help from a Power greater than
ourselves. Why? Because the person asked. This is
the story of thousands who follow the Twelve Steps.
Through our recovery, we bear witness to the power
of the programme and to our Higher Power. Am I
aware of my responsibility as a recovering person, to
bear witness through my behaviour and attitude to
life?

To bear witness is to be a living proof of a
significant happening. Just saying it is true is not
enough. Actions speak louder than words.
If I alone bear witness about myself, my
testimony is not deemed true. But…the very
works I am doing, bear witness about me.
The Bible, St John.
At first, our loved ones are understandably sceptical.
Today I will bear witness to my recovery.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 8th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – sit comfortably

Programme of Recovery

Don’t try this at home is something that presenters
of TV shows about extreme sports or DIY say, when
they are about to attempt something really difficult.
It means don’t try things when you lack adequate
resources. Such advice should be given to those
attempting to quit drugs and alcohol, not only
because withdrawal can be fraught with dangerous
fits and hallucinations. The early days clean and
sober can seem a frighteningly empty time as well. If
DIY recovery was a realistic option, more people
would do it. The fact is, we deal with something that
can kill. We need all the support we can find. Twelve
Step meetings are where we should be. Do I
recognise that I need the power of fellowship?

They recommend ninety meetings in ninety days for
good reasons: human contact, exposure to the
example of others, good advice and the formation of
good habits. It may seem a big commitment, but
how much time did I spend drinking and using?
Ninety meetings in ninety days ensures that I will
really get the message and start working the Steps. I
will feel a sense of belonging. Keeping a
commitment boosts my self-esteem. Today I will
keep whatever commitments I make.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 7th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your body


Self-discipline


Addiction is a mental, physical and spiritual disease
and successful recovery involves the head, the heart
and the soul. This can be described as holistic
growth and if we are to achieve balanced progress,
we will need involvement in three basic activities:
study, meditation and sharing. Recovery is a new
way of life and preferably, it should be learnt, not
simply tried on a hit or miss approach. There is
much complexity in the subject of addiction but in
the fellowships, we try to ‘keep it simple’. That does
not mean we should take things for granted. Do I
aim for spiritual growth in a balanced manner?

Some of us are burdened by what Buddhists call the
‘monkey mind’, the inner voice of distraction that
howls out to be heard as it swings from one topic to
another. To quieten the monkey mind, first ask
yourself what calms you – is it walking, praying,
writing or listening to music? Incorporate whatever
it is, into your daily routine. Ground yourself daily as
a priority. Mindfulness gives you a sense of
connection and awareness and helps you to view the
world in a calm manner. I will tell myself today:
Be here now. Remember Mindfulness.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 6th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly


Dry drunk

Early recovery isn’t easy. We may have stopped our
addictive behaviour, but contented sobriety seems far
away. Instead, we feel irritable, negative, impatient,
resentful, depressed, anxious and nostalgic for the
past; perhaps all at the same time. This won’t last
forever, but we need a coping plan. Not everyone
gets to feel thus, but the condition is common enough
to have a name – dry drunk syndrome. We have just
quit our addiction, similar to a bereavement for
some people. Part of us still has regrets. Do I accept
that warning signs of ‘dry drunk’ behaviour must be
given priority?

Reconnection and interaction with the right kind of
people is the main answer. Review the people you can
talk to and if you don’t have a sponsor, get to a
meeting and find one. The real danger in early
recovery is isolation. Your feelings may result from
not addressing underlying factors contributing to
addiction, such as domestic abuse. If so, professional
help may be needed. Underlying anger, grief or ego
issues may require attention. Accept and share your
feelings. We are blessed to have the Twelve Step
fellowships to listen and for that I am grateful.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 4th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – review expectations


Forgiveness


The act of forgiveness seems at first, like an act of
weakness. Holding on to hatred and resentment
against someone who has harmed us can give the
illusion of having power over them. Nothing could
be less true. Such feelings weaken and distract us –
why dwell on such a sick relationship? Forgiving
will release us from a huge burden that we did not need
to carry. It is cleansing our soul of bitterness for the
sake of our peace of mind. Am I addressing my
resentments with a goal of forgiveness because I
know that this will benefit me?


To rid ourselves of resentment, we need to
understand the other person’s behaviour and ask
why it happened. We have already worked Step
Four, with the intention of forgiving ourselves. We
can now apply the same process to others to
understand them better. Inner peace is created
through connections, not stand-offs.
If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should
find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to
disarm all hostility. Henry W Longfellow.
Today I ask God for help in understanding my
fellow men and women.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 3rd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly


Happiness


Fly with the crows, get shot with the crows is an old
way of saying: stay away from bad company. But that
does not mean we should isolate. Leave the crows
behind and join the bluebirds of happiness instead.
There is something very attractive about the freeflying
lifestyle of the bird – English literature is
packed with bird metaphors and references:
Higher still and higher
From the earth thou springest
Like a cloud of fire;
The blue deep thou wingest.
Percy Bysshe Shelley, To a Skylark.
All nature is about change and growth – which is
what we are after. Am I seeking growth and
progress, not perfection?

Happiness should not be seen as a destination but as
a choice, or a result of a series of choices. Every day
we make thousands of choices, some big some small.
Happiness comes from making the right choices
and also from being able to cope, when we make
wrong ones. The Twelve Steps teach us honesty,
humility and acceptance so that being wrong no
longer seems like disaster. A calm contentment is
quite sufficient for today, and I give thanks.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 2nd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment


Enjoyment


If newcomers could see no fun in our existence,
they wouldn’t want it. We absolutely insist on
enjoying life.
AA Big Book.
Addiction makes many of us depressed, sad and
anhedonic (unable to feel pleasure). When we see
others enjoying themselves, it is so alien that our
first reaction is often to think they are pretending.
Closer inspection shows a truly carefree attitude and
soon we are wanting it ourselves. Carefree means
just that: we rid ourselves of our cares as we
progress through the Twelve Steps. Do I work the
Twelve Steps in my daily life?

Have you ever driven a car with the handbrake on,
by mistake? When you realise and release the brake,
everything suddenly feels better and easier. There’s
no smell of burning rubber, no vague feeling that
something’s wrong. That’s what it feels like when
you get into recovery. There’s more time to enjoy the
little things because you’re not having to worry
about the lies you told yesterday, the people you
insulted, the money spent. Everything will be
manageable, if I don’t drink or use. Today I thank
my Higher Power for that feeling

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 1st by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from head to toes.


Awareness


One of the great blessings of recovery is peace of
mind – that magical state where you can enjoy the
moment and simply exist, without the intrusion of
everyday worries, outside distractions or internal
pressures caused by unruly emotions. True peace of
mind comes from the knowledge that we are living
our lives as best we can, and the outcome is in the
hands of a Power greater than ourselves. For
centuries, people have reached this peaceful state
through prayer and meditation. This continues
today not only in prayer but in two types of
meditation techniques – mindfulness and
awareness. Mindfulness is about introspection and
control of the thought process while awareness is
about using the senses rather than thoughts and
feelings. Am I using meditation to find peace of
mind?


Meditation brings balance. The body’s response to
meditation lowers blood pressure, enhances
metabolism and heart rate. The soothing of our
mental processes – consciousness, memory and
perception, makes for wellbeing. Today I ask to be
in a state of overall calm.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days October 30th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – relax your body from head to toes


Enquiring mind


Poets are ‘God’s spies’ said the poet Shelley,
meaning – go out into the world and see things
differently:
In today’s world, an enquiring mind is increasingly
in demand because Artificial Intelligence can do so
much where ordinary skills and information are all
that is needed. Addicted people are usually great
problem solvers – the sheer necessity to obtain the
substances we crave, for example, makes us so. And
necessity of course, is the mother of invention. In
recovery, this can be put to good use. The late Steve
Jobs of Apple once said: ‘the next great innovation
will be made by a poet’. Am I open to the idea that
creativity and an enquiring mind will help to
recover?

A creative and enquiring mind is a luxury that I can
use in recovery, to take me ‘beyond my wildest
dreams.’ Today I ask to keep my mind open to new
ideas