Tag Archives: Recovery Journey

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 6th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly


Dry drunk

Early recovery isn’t easy. We may have stopped our
addictive behaviour, but contented sobriety seems far
away. Instead, we feel irritable, negative, impatient,
resentful, depressed, anxious and nostalgic for the
past; perhaps all at the same time. This won’t last
forever, but we need a coping plan. Not everyone
gets to feel thus, but the condition is common enough
to have a name – dry drunk syndrome. We have just
quit our addiction, similar to a bereavement for
some people. Part of us still has regrets. Do I accept
that warning signs of ‘dry drunk’ behaviour must be
given priority?

Reconnection and interaction with the right kind of
people is the main answer. Review the people you can
talk to and if you don’t have a sponsor, get to a
meeting and find one. The real danger in early
recovery is isolation. Your feelings may result from
not addressing underlying factors contributing to
addiction, such as domestic abuse. If so, professional
help may be needed. Underlying anger, grief or ego
issues may require attention. Accept and share your
feelings. We are blessed to have the Twelve Step
fellowships to listen and for that I am grateful.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 4th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – review expectations


Forgiveness


The act of forgiveness seems at first, like an act of
weakness. Holding on to hatred and resentment
against someone who has harmed us can give the
illusion of having power over them. Nothing could
be less true. Such feelings weaken and distract us –
why dwell on such a sick relationship? Forgiving
will release us from a huge burden that we did not need
to carry. It is cleansing our soul of bitterness for the
sake of our peace of mind. Am I addressing my
resentments with a goal of forgiveness because I
know that this will benefit me?


To rid ourselves of resentment, we need to
understand the other person’s behaviour and ask
why it happened. We have already worked Step
Four, with the intention of forgiving ourselves. We
can now apply the same process to others to
understand them better. Inner peace is created
through connections, not stand-offs.
If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should
find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to
disarm all hostility. Henry W Longfellow.
Today I ask God for help in understanding my
fellow men and women.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 3rd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – close eyes briefly


Happiness


Fly with the crows, get shot with the crows is an old
way of saying: stay away from bad company. But that
does not mean we should isolate. Leave the crows
behind and join the bluebirds of happiness instead.
There is something very attractive about the freeflying
lifestyle of the bird – English literature is
packed with bird metaphors and references:
Higher still and higher
From the earth thou springest
Like a cloud of fire;
The blue deep thou wingest.
Percy Bysshe Shelley, To a Skylark.
All nature is about change and growth – which is
what we are after. Am I seeking growth and
progress, not perfection?

Happiness should not be seen as a destination but as
a choice, or a result of a series of choices. Every day
we make thousands of choices, some big some small.
Happiness comes from making the right choices
and also from being able to cope, when we make
wrong ones. The Twelve Steps teach us honesty,
humility and acceptance so that being wrong no
longer seems like disaster. A calm contentment is
quite sufficient for today, and I give thanks.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days November 1st by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel your body from head to toes.


Awareness


One of the great blessings of recovery is peace of
mind – that magical state where you can enjoy the
moment and simply exist, without the intrusion of
everyday worries, outside distractions or internal
pressures caused by unruly emotions. True peace of
mind comes from the knowledge that we are living
our lives as best we can, and the outcome is in the
hands of a Power greater than ourselves. For
centuries, people have reached this peaceful state
through prayer and meditation. This continues
today not only in prayer but in two types of
meditation techniques – mindfulness and
awareness. Mindfulness is about introspection and
control of the thought process while awareness is
about using the senses rather than thoughts and
feelings. Am I using meditation to find peace of
mind?


Meditation brings balance. The body’s response to
meditation lowers blood pressure, enhances
metabolism and heart rate. The soothing of our
mental processes – consciousness, memory and
perception, makes for wellbeing. Today I ask to be
in a state of overall calm.

Daily Reading from recovery Days October 31st by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – send positive thoughts


Cognitive dissonance


Cognitive dissonance arises when our desires do
not match our values and beliefs. When our actions
come at the cost of overriding what we know we
should be doing, the internal conflict requires us to
construct excuses – a fundamentally dishonest
response. The ancient fable of the fox and the grapes
tells the story of a fox that tries and tries to reach some
grapes but cannot, so he tells himself that he didn’t
really want them after all. ‘Sour grapes’ is a common
response to cognitive dissonance. Most great
negative historic events were perpetrated by people
who told themselves they were doing the right thing
when really, they were motivated by greed.
Christopher Columbus discovering the New World
is an obvious example. Addictive behaviour is full of
cognitive dissonance, but recovery must be
different. Do I check my motives and the choices I
make, to avoid cognitive dissonance?


I must be able to recognise when I am at fault and
make an honest attempt to do better. Today I ask for
rigorous honesty to make sure that I stay on the
right track.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days October 29th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – feel the silence
Disappointment
Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot is a play where
nothing happens or, as one critic said: As it is in two
acts, nothing happens twice. It is an example of the
‘theatre of the absurd’. The play deals with
disappointment and unrealised expectations, as the
title implies. Godot never comes. The actors and
audience find themselves united in a vacuum of
frustrated desire. Real life is often the same: our
extravagant hopes and expectations come to
nothing, and we wonder if there’s any point in going
on. In the play, the two main actors decide to hang
themselves but can’t find a rope, so they continue
waiting. Nobody knows what Beckett was really
saying because he wisely didn’t tell. Not
surprisingly, the play was often popular in prisons
where inmates related to the pain of just waiting.
Perhaps the message is that life is often
meaningless, but you must get on with it and don’t
give up hope. Am I learning to deal with
disappointment?
Feeling entitled is the pathway to resentments. Like
the characters in the play, I must learn to deal with
days when nothing happens. Today I will seek to
manage my expectations.

Daily reading from Recovery Days October 28th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – breathe slowly


Success in recovery


Ego, pride and past habits are a danger when our
recovery gains momentum and is going well. It can
be tempting to change our priorities and consider
putting material success – financial rewards, job
promotion and fame, before our sobriety. When high
or unrealistic expectations appear, it is time for an
honest look at ourselves. Am I allowing my ego to
divert me from sober living and spiritual growth?


There is nothing so wrong with having
reasonable expectations for ourselves and our
families. I want to be a useful member of society,
to help others and to pass on my values to my
loved ones. But I should be less concerned with
other people’s ideas of the meaning of success. I
need to be a success for my inner self, and no one
else.
To laugh often and much; to win the respect of
intelligent people and the affection of
children…to leave the world a better place…to
know even one life has breathed easier because
you have lived. This is to have succeeded.
Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Today I know the meaning of real success and I
am content with that.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days October 25th by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – listen to your body


Commitment


God willing, we may never again have
to deal with drinking, but we have to
deal with sobriety every day.
AA Big Book.
A life in active addiction can be a series of quick
fixes, but recovery is a process requiring our full
attention. At first, sobriety can seem like a
bereavement – a seriously deep relationship has
been abruptly terminated and we are emotionally
upset. Also, we have been living a lifestyle that is no
longer acceptable. In this fragile state, attitudes,
beliefs and habits now have to change. It adds up to
a lot of work and commitment. Am I aware that my
recovery goes far beyond stopping my addictive
behaviour?


Commitment, discipline and responsibility were
not often considered in my old life. But hard times call
for hard measures. Twelve Step programmes gave me
a connection – to a Power greater than myself and
the support of others. For that, I am grateful.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days October 23rd by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – listen to your breathing


Values


What are the values that I live by? I probably don’t
know the answer when I first become sober. As I
recover, I will find and perhaps improve them to live
as best I can. I may learn from other people but itis
important that I create my value system because
because I want it that way, not so as to meet the
expectations of others. Am I establishing the values
by which I will live my life in sobriety?


Once to every man and nation
Comes the moment to decide
In the strife of truth with falsehood,
For the good or evil side. J.R. Lowell.
The type of relationships that I have, the activities I
like and the interests I follow, are all dependent on
my core values, because these will affect my
attitudes. Thus, if I value honesty, kindness,
understanding and compassion then I am likely to
have friends with similar values. If I set a high value
on physical health, then my interests are likely to
reflect that too. I am grateful that I can learn new
ways in the Twelve Step programme.

Daily Reading from Recovery Days October 21st by Chris B

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Remember Mindfulness – enjoy the moment


Opiate addiction


The poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge was born on this
day in 1772. Addicted to opium as a young man, he
never managed to free himself from its clutches. His
great works Kubla Khan and the Rime of the
Ancient Mariner, were written under the influence of
opiates but his creativity declined markedly soon
afterwards. He spent the last 18 years of his life
living quite isolated, in the house of his doctor in
London. His creativity had withered. Do I
remember that drugs are never a solution for my
inner conflict?

Non est vivere, sed valere vita est. Martial.
(Life is not just living, but living as if life
matters.)
The worst thing about taking drugs is that
they control you. Drug dependence stops us living
life to the best of our ability. Any idea that
drugs could help creatively, so that we become
a success in our career, is hopelessly
unrealistic. Instead, we simply exist. In
sobriety, creativity returns, along with a zest for
life. For that, I am grateful.